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My point was, if someone is cheating on you, as you have said happens every time, even when you thought you were in a monogamous relationship, there's a good reason to get tested. Men can be carriers of STDs without symptoms.
I'm trying to be logical with you, but you just want to snap back.
And yet I got myself tested and I am negative. Whoever cheated on me does not matter. Whoever they cheated with wasn't infected or I would have it too. Yet I do not because I got tested and my doctor said I am good to go.
My STD status does not have anything to do with women cheating on me. I'm negative!
And yet I got myself tested and I am negative. Whoever cheated on me does not matter. Whoever they cheated with wasn't infected or I would have it too. Yet I do not because I got tested and my doctor said I am good to go.
My STD status does not have anything to do with women cheating on me. I'm negative!
Lovehound, I think the thing that is concerning to a lot of people is the fact of the cheating itself. I don't think anyone is arguing with you that getting tested is a good idea. So, let's say you are negative, she proves to be, also. Great news. But that still doesn't address the cheating. I certainly don't want to sound snarky, but if every woman you have been in a relationship has cheated on you, perhaps you need to look for other patterns or similarities among the women you've gotten involved with and the way those relationships unfolded to figure out why this keeps happening and try to avoid having it happen again. It's relevant to the discussion, because even if you are both negative today, that could change very easily if you are not both completely monogamous.
Well that is a valid point. No doctor would "fudge" the results. The tests (8 of them) are either positive or negative. It would be a breach of the Hippocratic Oath for a doctor to tell lies.
I wish my female friend would see it the way yours would, and maybe she will. I stopped discussing when I decided to cross that bridge when I come to it. I decided to get the best advice from my friends here on the forum.
Right- so why does she have to go in with you? Most people would rather go see a doctor they already know and trust to be tested instead of a doctor their significant other has chosen. Depending on the time of year it is for a woman, many gynecologists offer STD testing along with an additional blood test for HIV along with the regular annual woman’s exam. That is a lower copay than going to a random doctor just to get a test, and she’d be able to talk about any other concerns she might have related to female issues.
Lovehound, I think the thing that is concerning to a lot of people is the fact of the cheating itself. I don't think anyone is arguing with you that getting tested is a good idea. So, let's say you are negative, she proves to be, also. Great news. But that still doesn't address the cheating. I certainly don't want to sound snarky, but if every woman you have been in a relationship has cheated on you, perhaps you need to look for other patterns or similarities among the women you've gotten involved with and the way those relationships unfolded to figure out why this keeps happening and try to avoid having it happen again. It's relevant to the discussion, because even if you are both negative today, that could change very easily if you are not both completely monogamous.
That's one of the reasons I have been out of the dating scene so long. I was all butt hurt and didn't want my heart broken again.
That has been on my mind during the years I took off from dating. I went through counseling. This was one of the issues that we addressed.
As far as cheating, the only way to stop that is to pick the right person and do your best to have an exciting relationship that the other person wouldn't want to lose to impulsive behavior.
No, I don't think your post is snarky at all. Thank you for taking the time to give me your advice.
Right- so why does she have to go in with you? Most people would rather go see a doctor they already know and trust to be tested instead of a doctor their significant other has chosen. Depending on the time of year it is for a woman, many gynecologists offer STD testing along with an additional blood test for HIV along with the regular annual woman’s exam. That is a lower copay than going to a random doctor just to get a test, and she’d be able to talk about any other concerns she might have related to female issues.
I asked both of my doctors (old and new) what would be the best plan to protect myself from STDs if I resumed dating and entered a sexual relationship. Both doctors suggested the scenario in the OP.
This wasn't my idea at all. It is the recommended procedure from both doctors suggestions. I'm almost guilty of copyright violation.
Their idea not mine. I just don't want to get a fatal STD. My doctors said do this.
I haven't been in a relationship where I considered having sex in quite some time. STD awareness has become much more en vogue during that period. Do I become a virgin again after X years of not having sex?
Separate testing already discussed, a decision for me on whether she had it done or said she had it done. A difficult decision.
Thank you for your opinion of my topic. Everybody is entitled to an opinion and I respect yours thank you.
I sense you have a huge trust issue with women?
And with all due respect, I think the plan (endorsed by two doctors) sounds ridiculous. I would just have her produce a recent STD test (with her own doc and on her own time) and if she doesn't comply, move on.
And with all due respect, I think the plan (endorsed by two doctors) sounds ridiculous. I would just have her produce a recent STD test (with her own doc and on her own time) and if she doesn't comply, move on.
Good luck with dating!
I had a trust issue which was addressed during counseling. My current situation with my therapist is she wants me to get out of her office because she says I have no more issues to treat. I've gone bi-weekly and expect to go by-appointment-only in another month or two. Really, I only see her because I like her and love to discuss the subject of Psychology with an expert, because I minored in Psych in college. I like her so much I hate to part with her. She's a really cool babe about 1-2 years younger than me. — She says I would be fine to just quit now. I'm done.
You know doctors, they are ridiculous about so many things. My thoughts as of this post is to just ask the lady to take the test and tell me the results. Asking her to show me the report would be intrusive IMO. It would show lack of trust in not accepting her word.
Birdie, you are just so cynical. My first doctor specializes in internal medicine and family practice. The second doctor is part of a collective practice and specializes in family practice. Both are M.D.s.
I asked each of them what was the best plan for me and offered that I expect to resume sexual activity in the near future. And each gave me identical scenarios.
Somebody else reading this topic should ask a doctor my same question and post the response.
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