My boyfriend doesn't have a car and I'm tired of it (how to, men)
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You have to make this decision yourself, but it sounds like you should leave (at least for now) but stay platonic with him and not give him rides. If his situation changes where it's more compatible for your needs and desires, then go back. Otherwise look around. He doesn't sound like a person you need to completely dismiss from contact either.
You're stating all the obvious. Of course, I've already spoken to him about it and his response was "I'll have a car soon just waiting for my foot to heal 100%".
Okay since it's so "obvious" what are you going to do about it? Keep doing the same thing hoping for a different result or put your foot down?
I think you know what it is you have to do, you just don't want to do it. For whatever reason.
Like I said, when you are truly tired of the same stuff. You'll do what needs to be done to "fix it."
First off, we live in a city where you need a car to get around, it's not like NYC where public transport is great. My boyfriend is a good guy, he's caring, thoughtful, gives me massages, helps me around the house and is fun to be with.
When we first met he was taking the bus a lot and I asked him if he had a car and he said yes but prefers to get the bus, I forget what his reason was, I think it was more relaxing for him. When he first came to my house I actually picked him up from the bus stop because I didn't want him walking around dark back streets as there was recently a shooting.
A few months into us being official, his truck breaks down. Sometimes his friend would let him borrow his truck on the weekends but now that's over. So I do ALL the driving and he lives 25 miles from me. I'm tired of it, he knows this. I feel like an Uber driver. He says he's waiting for his foot to heal (he had an accident) before he gets a new car, which makes no sense to me because wouldn't you want to drive and use your feet less so it can heal? Anyway prior to his foot accident (which was ages ago now) he was waiting to build up his credit to get a new car. His credit is fine now. I feel like it's one excuse after another. He's done other things with his bad foot i.e. Vegas, music shows, been to wrestling matches.
It's been over a year and there's no progress and I'm sooooo drained from all this driving. Even on my birthday I had to pick him up and drop him home. I'm not sure what to do because this is our only problem.
I'm not interested in having to nag at someone. I don't want to be someone's mom.
Yes....Drop this "good guy, he's caring, thoughtful, gives me massages, helps me around the house and is fun to be with".
Because he deserves to have a partner who is as caring and good as him....based on your own words......imo you are not it.
I don't drive either and have structured my life around public transportation.
Great job, great house, great neighborhood, and lots of walking --very ecologically minded.
There's a short list of places in the United States where you can do that. The OP wrote that she doesn't live in one of them. I spent 90 days last fall working midweek living near Rittenhouse Square in Philly midweek. I didn't need a car. Urban. Walkable . Train, subway, bus. Uber if it's raining. I have dated women who lived in Manhattan. Most people don't own cars there. Why would you? I know people in Boston without cars. DC works. Chicago. That's about it.
There's a big difference between choosing to live somewhere walkable and living integrated in to public transportation and owning a beater truck that is broken where it's an hour+ public bus ride to get anywhere near what is normally a 25 minute car ride to see your girlfriend.
In theory, I could walk the 1/3 mile to the closest bus stop and get around without a car. Of course, it's Sunday and no bus service so I'd be using Uber.
The fact that he's not depending on me. It would show me that he's made progress and I don't have to keep making these 25 mile trips. Actually, that's 50 miles.
I missed this before--him living 25 miles away is huge. Huge. Driving someone around who lives a couple miles away would get annoying, but 25 miles is probably rarely on the way to whatever you're doing. Does he at least offer gas money?
I missed this before--him living 25 miles away is huge. Huge. Driving someone around who lives a couple miles away would get annoying, but 25 miles is probably rarely on the way to whatever you're doing. Does he at least offer gas money?
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