Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,948,491 times
Reputation: 40635
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
There's a difference between "Friends" and "Friends first".
No, there really isn't. Not in my book. I've never had a friendship (outside of high school when we're all inexperienced scared kids) become a romantic relationship in my life. And making a "friend" to determine if their compatible for dating isn't a real friendship in my book, as friendships don't have agendas.
You actually have more information about a person with online dating than how most romances I've experienced, or see, before they start as you've seen a profile and chatted awhile. That's a bunch more info than meeting at a concert or party and starting to date when having no information at all. Which is one reason OLD can be so much more successful, you can screen out people early on and not find out about some critical things 4 dates in.
No, there really isn't. Not in my book. I've never had a friendship (outside of high school when we're all inexperienced scared kids) become a romantic relationship in my life. And making a "friend" to determine if their compatible for dating isn't a real friendship in my book, as friendships don't have agendas.
There is. Friends is code for “this will never happen.” Friends first is exactly ehat it sounds like. We are evaluating the other for a serious relationship, but we are not jumping in with both feet right away.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,948,491 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inacitysomewhere
There is. Friends is code for “this will never happen.” Friends first is exactly ehat it sounds like. We are evaluating the other for a serious relationship, but we are not jumping in with both feet right away.
Dating isn't jumping in to a serious relationship with both feet. It is spending time with someone to ascertain romantic compatibility. It can be a long and slow process.
This sounds like living scared to me. People wanting dating, but doing it half azzed. No thanks. If a person wants to be friends, fine, but we're just going to be friends. It won't become dating.
I've only said anything about "friends first, and see how it goes" to the guy who was already talking to me like I was his gf. I should've followed my instincts and declined altogether.
OP- If you're getting this a lot, do you think you may be coming on too strong, or talking about sex, maybe innuendos that you should save til you know them better?
This sounds like living scared to me. People wanting dating, but doing it half azzed. No thanks. If a person wants to be friends, fine, but we're just going to be friends. It won't become dating.
This sounds like one-upmanship to me.
"OK, you want to be my friend but not date me? Fine, but you'll never get any of THIS ...."
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
OP- If you're getting this a lot, do you think you may be coming on too strong, or talking about sex, maybe innuendos that you should save til you know them better?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,948,491 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
So you know immediately upon meeting a stranger if fall into the "friend" or "date" category??
A "stranger" from where? How? What type of meeting? What type of interaction did we have? With OLD, which is how I meet the VAST majority of dates, we are meeting to determine if we want to have a date. If we meet and determine we do not, but we may want to be friends, we go down that path. If we meet and determine we want to have a date, we have a date. It's quite simple and straightforward and pretty clear for most people.
It has nothing to do with one upping anyone. If a person is a friend, I'm not going to date them. I don't date friends or even friends of friends.
If a person wants to date and I want to date them, we go on dates.
Yes, that is what dating is. It's false to say as friends first when you're not even friends. Dating is getting to know someone and determining if you see romantic potential, only friendship, or nothing at all.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,948,491 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
Yes, that is what dating is. It's false to say as friends first when you're not even friends. Dating is getting to know someone and determining if you see romantic potential, only friendship, or nothing at all.
Exactly. If we have dates and aren't feeling the romantic potential, then it ends. It may be suitable for a friendship, or not. People like to toss around the term "friend" willy nilly, for some reason.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
