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Old 06-19-2018, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Central Virginia
6,535 posts, read 8,340,612 times
Reputation: 18672

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Quote:
Originally Posted by reds37win View Post
Seems like everyone is missing the most important aspect of the original post. Forget the trip - that's just noise.

The most important issue is that the two of them are about to move in together. There was an agreement and plans made. Now, the week before the move-in happens, suddenly there is a new requirement.

There's your red flag. The trip(s) and new requirement are simply a signal telling the guy moving in that this may not be the best idea.

He should listen to what she is telling him.
An agreement that she would never take a trip without her BF?

A "requirement" that he be okay with her to go on the occasional girls' trip?



I didn't see any of that mentioned in the OP.
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Old 06-19-2018, 11:13 AM
 
2,144 posts, read 1,872,068 times
Reputation: 10604
The only way I could possibly see "girls trips" or "guys trips" to be a problem is if those were the ONLY trips ever taken by the people... if they have no together trips.

I'd be a little miffed if my SO never wanted to vacation with me and only wanted to go with their friends... but that's not what is happening here.

Away time is great, in my opinion, as long as there is trust. And if there is no trust, it's not much of a relationship anyway.
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Old 06-19-2018, 11:18 AM
 
Location: San Diego
5,684 posts, read 4,627,226 times
Reputation: 12670
Why do YOU give a crap?
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Old 06-19-2018, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,699 posts, read 34,240,753 times
Reputation: 76911
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murk View Post
The only way I could possibly see "girls trips" or "guys trips" to be a problem is if those were the ONLY trips ever taken by the people... if they have no together trips.

I'd be a little miffed if my SO never wanted to vacation with me and only wanted to go with their friends... but that's not what is happening here.

Away time is great, in my opinion, as long as there is trust. And if there is no trust, it's not much of a relationship anyway.
Right, they've got a trip together already planned and paid for, and this guy wants to break up because she might want to go on a trip with a friend in six months. It doesn't make any sense.
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Old 06-19-2018, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,627,532 times
Reputation: 73585
There is nothing inherently wrong with needing "girl" or "boy" trips.
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Old 06-19-2018, 11:32 AM
 
Location: South Bay Native
16,226 posts, read 27,352,516 times
Reputation: 31493
OP, this is a weird topic for a number of reasons. First off, why are you involved in this, has your 'friend' asked for advice about the situation you presented? Or is this really about you and your own gf?

Second - what is wrong with your friend? Why does he want to back out of a cruise he committed to, with his gf? Isn't he from the position of wanting to holiday with the gf?

Third - if the gf is a grown adult, she can plan trips to wherever and with whomever she chooses. Is the 'friend' worried about her getting some action on the side? She doesn't need to travel with a group of females to do that (actually, why would she want to expose herself that way to her friends if in fact she's looking for cheap thrills on the side?) - she could find side pieces locally.

To the poster who asked why she can't do girl things locally - she can, and probably does. I counter your question - why can't she do girl things out of town or abroad?
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Old 06-19-2018, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
2,148 posts, read 1,690,187 times
Reputation: 4186
Quote:
Originally Posted by HokieFan View Post
An agreement that she would never take a trip without her BF?

A "requirement" that he be okay with her to go on the occasional girls' trip?



I didn't see any of that mentioned in the OP.
The agreement made was for them to move in together.

What concerns me is, she brings up the need (requirement) to go on girls trips the week before he is scheduled to move in.

The overriding problem here is a lack of communication. They were together two weeks at a time every three months and discussing their living situation and how it was going to work never came up?

That's on both of them.
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Old 06-19-2018, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,699 posts, read 34,240,753 times
Reputation: 76911
Quote:
Originally Posted by reds37win View Post
The agreement made was for them to move in together.

What concerns me is, she brings up the need (requirement) to go on girls trips the week before he is scheduled to move in.
Why is their living together and her occasionally going on trips with her friends mutually exclusive? You're responding as if it's some sort of betrayal.
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Old 06-19-2018, 12:38 PM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,427,520 times
Reputation: 9548
Does she not have the ability to hang out with her friends locally when she desires?
How often is doing these trip excluding her SO?
how often does she plan and go away with only her SO?

There really isn’t enough information here to make much of a determination in any one direction, Just questions

The only real determination I can make from what was written is nobody is really talking to one another until they absolutely need to. That in itself is more concerning than who is going where with whom

Last edited by rego00123; 06-19-2018 at 12:46 PM..
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Old 06-19-2018, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
2,148 posts, read 1,690,187 times
Reputation: 4186
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Why is their living together and her occasionally going on trips with her friends mutually exclusive? You're responding as if it's some sort of betrayal.
Not a betrayal, but my question is, why did it come up then? Is this not something they would have discussed prior to the move-in date?
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