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People should read the topic title again. "Husband doesn't understand..." This is clearly a discussion about the feelings of the OP.
There is only one person who can help her with her feelings and that's her husband. I hope he has the ability to recognize her problem and the maturity to fix it.
There is only one person who can help her with her feelings.............. herself.
Let us not forget she is an adult, and has to choose her battles.
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There is only one person who can help her with her feelings.............. herself.
Let us not forget she is an adult, and has to choose her battles.
I think she has chosen her battle. She doesn't like coming in to the home she shares with her husband knowing that a strange adult man has been living in there while she was gone. It feels creepy to her and her husband doesn't understand. She can't change her feelings and he can't seem to understand. BUT, he could respect her feelings anyway and tell the guest it's time to leave.
I think she has chosen her battle. She doesn't like coming in to the home she shares with her husband knowing that a strange adult man has been living in there while she was gone. It feels creepy to her and her husband doesn't understand. She can't change her feelings and he can't seem to understand. BUT, he could respect her feelings anyway and tell the guest it's time to leave.
One can always change their feelings, and one does not have to act on all feelings. Her "feelings" do not make her right.
Why do her feelings trump his feelings?
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Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
People should read the topic title again. "Husband doesn't understand..." This is clearly a discussion about the feelings of the OP.
There is only one person who can help her with her feelings and that's her husband. I hope he has the ability to recognize her problem and the maturity to fix it.
Understanding goes both ways. Here this woman isn't there most of the time, yet she wants her husband to boot out his friend who is in extremis.
It does not sound like you are married but no doubt he is a prize or you not have settled for this sort of arrangement
I was once in a similar situation at the time it seemed reasonable but years later I realized I was putting up with way too much
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
35,630 posts, read 17,968,125 times
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This is going to be a real problem in your marriage, OP.
Your new husband is generous and accommodating, and you are disgusted that a dear friend of his uses your bathroom when you're not there, although it's clean.
You two have opposite attitudes about your friends, and your living space.
This is going to be a real problem in your marriage, OP.
Your new husband is generous and accommodating, and you are disgusted that a dear friend of his uses your bathroom when you're not there, although it's clean.
You two have opposite attitudes about your friends, and your living space.
WOW, it's more than using the bathroom. He uses the couch as a bed night after night. YUCK!
Perhaps he is putting a sheet down on the couch, or the couch is leather.....
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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
35,630 posts, read 17,968,125 times
Reputation: 50655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint
WOW, it's more than using the bathroom. He uses the couch as a bed night after night. YUCK!
I truly don't understand the whole idea of thinking it's gross if a good friend of his sleeps on the couch and uses the restroom, as long as his personal habits are acceptable.
Roommates don't disgust me, I guess?
The main point being that he's open and welcoming and generous, and like you, she thinks a friend who sleeps on her couch is gross.
But not herself, or her husband. Just this guy. And probably all other friends he has.
BTW, this is the exact concept of a "guest room". If you go visit friends or family you sleep on their couches and beds, use their bathrooms, and after that the towels and sheets go in the wash so they're fresh for the next guest. And nobody is grossed out by the whole thing.
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