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Flakey girl. She was just an attention seeker not expecting you to call and ask her out so soon. She was probably hoping for the text game back and forth. At least you dont waste your time on her.
You need to only be dating local women and not use Match, which is a dying platform. If you are going to use technology, Tinder or Bumble. However, offline approaching is way better.
This is probably going to sound like a really stupid question to you all, so sorry about that. I haven't dated for about 2 years. I met a girl from a website called match and she lives about 2 hours away. We said "hi" a few times, I asked her about herself a little bit, the basic stuff, family, job, etc. Then she gave me her phone number and I texted her last night.
The problem is, now I don't know what to say. I feel like she's going to get disinterested really quick if I don't do something. Can you guys help me out, please? Thanks.
Gonna say it. Texting is timid. Plus it's a really bad way to understand nuance.
Just call her and invite her for lunch. It's just lunch.
I'd say the same thing happened to you twice this week. One backed out today, but you had already asked someone else for their number last night? Just try one at a time, meet, and then decide about dates with others, that's easier for someone new to this.
If you get to the part where they give you their number, then they wait around... wondering if you're actually interested and just "back out" then you aren't acting interested enough!
You must have something going for you, you get responses, you get numbers, lots of guys here complain they can't even get that.
Next time you get a number, ask questions:
"So what do you do for fun?"
"Have any interesting experiences using OLD?"
"I don't text a lot, sorry, but I would like to meet in person."
"I live in _____ city. Is there a bar (coffee shop, park to take a walk, zoo with monkeys, whatever!) you like between my house and yours?"
"I can suggest one if you don't have a preference."
Of course, leave time after a question for her to answer. Sometimes the person will do most of the texting anyway, so make comments like you're interested in what they're saying, before you get to the asking to meet part.
Now for the real question. You say you haven't dated in 2 years. I hadn't dated in 20 years. Huge difference in the world after 20 years, not so much after 2. Before that though, I had communicated efficiently with other people, friends, my then husband, etc.
Did you ever have a girlfriend? You must not have communicated with her, or you wouldn't be wondering how.
What's the real story?
Hi. Thanks for the response. Well, to jump right into what you asked me, no, I don't have an issue drawing attention from women because I'm physically attractive. But that's really as far as my attractive qualities go. I'm an extreme introvert and very uncomfortable socializing(which I've had therapy for.) I've been in a difficult living situation for several years and it was a contributing factor to the demise of my marriage, which occurred a little over 2 years ago.
I had a date lined up with a woman that I've known for several years. We stopped communicating when I met my exwife. I contacted her again about 2 weeks ago and we've been chatting. But I could tell that she was still upset with me about getting married and sort of leaving her behind. I believe that's why she backed out on the date with me. The second, most recent woman who backed out on me I met on match.
But what I've realized with OLD, in the short time I've been using it, is that the lack of physical indicators and subtle nuances leads to a lot of mixed or misinterpreted signals. I have a huge issue with that because communication is already difficult for me. I see OLD becoming a very frustrating endeavor for me and I have to be careful about that because I'm trying to move forward with my life in a positive, healthy way. I need to be in a good head space.
Hi. Thanks for the response. Well, to jump right into what you asked me, no, I don't have an issue drawing attention from women because I'm physically attractive. But that's really as far as my attractive qualities go. I'm an extreme introvert and very uncomfortable socializing(which I've had therapy for.) I've been in a difficult living situation for several years and it was a contributing factor to the demise of my marriage, which occurred a little over 2 years ago.
I had a date lined up with a woman that I've known for several years. We stopped communicating when I met my exwife. I contacted her again about 2 weeks ago and we've been chatting. But I could tell that she was still upset with me about getting married and sort of leaving her behind. I believe that's why she backed out on the date with me. The second, most recent woman who backed out on me I met on match.
But what I've realized with OLD, in the short time I've been using it, is that the lack of physical indicators and subtle nuances leads to a lot of mixed or misinterpreted signals. I have a huge issue with that because communication is already difficult for me. I see OLD becoming a very frustrating endeavor for me and I have to be careful about that because I'm trying to move forward with my life in a positive, healthy way. I need to be in a good head space.
You seem very sincere, and you're realistic about what the problem is. You say you're working on the communication part, so you're headed in the right direction.
Don't give up on OLD, if you're physically attractive it seems you'll at least get opportunities to practice conversing. This will help you find out what works!
Hi. Thanks for the response. Well, to jump right into what you asked me, no, I don't have an issue drawing attention from women because I'm physically attractive. But that's really as far as my attractive qualities go. I'm an extreme introvert and very uncomfortable socializing(which I've had therapy for.) I've been in a difficult living situation for several years and it was a contributing factor to the demise of my marriage, which occurred a little over 2 years ago.
I had a date lined up with a woman that I've known for several years. We stopped communicating when I met my exwife. I contacted her again about 2 weeks ago and we've been chatting. But I could tell that she was still upset with me about getting married and sort of leaving her behind. I believe that's why she backed out on the date with me. The second, most recent woman who backed out on me I met on match.
But what I've realized with OLD, in the short time I've been using it, is that the lack of physical indicators and subtle nuances leads to a lot of mixed or misinterpreted signals. I have a huge issue with that because communication is already difficult for me. I see OLD becoming a very frustrating endeavor for me and I have to be careful about that because I'm trying to move forward with my life in a positive, healthy way. I need to be in a good head space.
Maybe try practicing your approach with a female relative or close friend. A little role playing with someone you are comfortable talking to will help make you more confident when you make another first contact.
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