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OP, you said you are fine being friends right now but you would like to see if there is more. She told you she see's you two as friends now, but this could develop into a relationship, or not.
I say be a nice friend and enjoy your time with her and let things develop on their own but also keep an open mind that she or you may meet someone along the way. What I am saying is don't focus 100% on being her friend and be blinded to possibly meeting someone else.
I have a question and I am not trying to be mean or funny but what if she told you she met someone that she liked? What do you truly think your reaction would be?
OP, you said you are fine being friends right now but you would like to see if there is more. She told you she see's you two as friends now, but this could develop into a relationship, or not.
I say be a nice friend and enjoy your time with her and let things develop on their own but also keep an open mind that she or you may meet someone along the way. What I am saying is don't focus 100% on being her friend and be blinded to possibly meeting someone else.
I have a question and I am not trying to be mean or funny but what if she told you she met someone that she liked? What do you truly think your reaction would be?
Anyhow, good luck OP.
I would wish her the best and give her a LOT of space. I'd probably keep in touch but she'd be friendzoned for life.
Oh, and thanks for your input. It seems reasonable.
If that's the case, why would she say "Not yet" instead of "I don't see you that way" when I told her I wanted to kiss her?
Unless you think she's intentionally leading me on - which I would strongly disagree with, based on how I know her.
I wouldn't believe she is intentionally leading you on. The "not yet" sounds like she believes you may not want to spend as much time with her if she says never.
She needs a friend. Be a friend, but realize that that may be all it is.
She has set clear boundaries - you're in the friend zone. Are you ok with being just friends with her? Because chances are, that's as far as it will go.
I was in a similar situation a while ago. I wasted over a year of my life being kept at arm's length with a guy who never intended to take things further, yet wanted to call, text, go out, etc.
You're only a few weeks in - you can decide now if you're ok with her not seeing you in a potential-sexual-partner way.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Catgirl64
Sayeth the expert.
OP, I don't know what her ultimate intentions are. It may be that she doesn't have any. If you like her and she is a good friend, enjoy the friendship. If it develops into something more, wonderful. If not, she's still worth knowing, right?
I hate this all-or-nothing attitude about friends vs. lovers. It seems to me that a balanced life could benefit from both kinds of relationship.
There is a difference between going into something with a romantic intent but having to settle for friendship only vs meeting someone with no intent and a platonic friendship developing from that. I strongly advise against the former since all it will leave is hurt feelings.
There is a difference between going into something with a romantic intent but having to settle for friendship only vs meeting someone with no intent and a platonic friendship developing from that. I strongly advise against the former since all it will leave is hurt feelings.
I agree. It wouldn't be an organic, authentic friendship.
There is a difference between going into something with a romantic intent but having to settle for friendship only vs meeting someone with no intent and a platonic friendship developing from that. I strongly advise against the former since all it will leave is hurt feelings.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
I agree. It wouldn't be an organic, authentic friendship.
I agree. I think men sometimes get a bad rap in these situations when they want to step away. I have women friends, and in fact I've had better friendships with women than with men. I've developed some attraction for women I'm friends with, and I managed that fine. However, I haven't ever been first interested in a woman romantically, and after being turned down, become her friend. That doesn't work for me, or at least it never has.
It's not a matter of me devaluing friendship with a woman, it's a matter of me taking care of my feelings as I so choose, which is sort of my job.
It's not a matter of me devaluing friendship with a woman, it's a matter of me taking care of my feelings as I so choose, which is sort of my job.
... which, in turn, considers her feelings as well because if you are just doing friend stuff while holding back romantic feelings all the time you aren't really being a true friend.
... which, in turn, considers her feelings as well because if you are just doing friend stuff while holding back romantic feelings all the time you aren't really being a true friend.
Quite true. It's usually the case that when we take reasonable (not narcissistic) care of ourselves we're generally better friends, lovers, or acquaintances. Authentic, and all that.
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