Quote:
Originally Posted by usamathman
I'd say the best way to maximize your attractiveness to ladies is to:
1. Find a hobby. Preferably one that will pull you out of the house.
2. Get in decent physical shape.
3. Get good at small talk.
4. Develop self confidence and mindset that you are valuable and deserve the best.
Dressing nice, driving a nice car, etc. It's all irrelevant.
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This is why lists are not useful. Lists are superficial.
1. Find a hobby? Some are hobby people, some are not. It's part of a person's nature. Maybe you meant get some interests. It would be a very boring person who had no interests. I'll rephrase your suggestion: get some outside interests that make you more interesting. Work, eat and sleep does not make an interesting person. Chatting about your job will last only so long even with spouses.
2. Getting in good shape is something obvious that some may not give the attention it deserves. I've always had the opinion that getting in shape is the single, most important thing anybody can do to make themselves more attractive to the opposite gender. It's stupid simple. Pick two almost identical potential dates, one in good shape, the other not. Who is going to get picked first? Yes working out is hard work, that's why it is called
working out. Note that you will feel better, have more energy on a daily basis, and live longer if you work out.
3. Getting good at small talk could be difficult for many. I'd put it different. Pay attention to what your date says and show you are interested. Try to rise above your conversation and make sure it is two-sided and evenly balanced between your interests/subjects and theirs. Nobody likes somebody who talks about themselves all the time, nobody likes a clam.
4. I won't argue with self-confidence. If you haven't got it, get it. That's not easy to accomplish, about all you can do is get your life together and be somebody that the opposite gender will value.
... Dressing nice and driving a nice car
are relevant. Dressing nice does not mean wearing expensive clothing. It means dress neatly and semi-fashionable. On my date yesterday I wore a t-shirt I had purchased on a previous date with the same woman, she helped me pick it out. I wore blue jeans and, okay, wore my $600 Lucchese boots. I doubt she noticed the boots but wearing nice stuff makes me feel good. I have a boot fetish! Sue me!
I looked casual but neat. I could have worn my $60 Reebok walkers and changed nothing. — I drive an 11-year old SUV but I keep it in top shape and mostly clean. She had remarked the previous day that it looked very clean when she got in. I haven't cleaned it for several weeks. (I park inside.)
My point in the above paragraph is that you should dress neatly and should be consistent with the venue of your date. Being a bit more fashionable is extra credit points. Just keep your car clean and in good repair. No woman wants to be picked up for a date by a man driving a dirty wreck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by deepsix
You should learn how to deploy "tact". Meaning, learn to avoid telling somebody things that will make them feel bad unnecessarily.
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You finally hit the word that's been missing in this discussion: tact. It is
not tactful to volunteer negative things. Once again, you haven't been Mirandized, you are not giving court testimony, there is no need to say everything that pops into your head.
Just don't say stuff that isn't productive to advancing the relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshyy
I like that, but there's more!
1.Hit the Gym, bulk up if you are skinny, slim down if you are huh, chunky. Get that body fat down to 9%.
2.Get a tan.
3.Get your whole body waxed from the nose down. it hurts but it feels so good after the pain is gone!
4. Get tattoos and have them on places that are visible while having clothes on.
5.Get braces, I even see 50 year old men nowadays with braces, it's no shame for young men to get them.
6.Have dentists perform teeth-withening procedures on your teeth.
7.Get a good haircut, Brad Pitt's hairstyle in Fury was awesome
8.Wear stylish clothes. No need to buy expensive clothes. Clothes that flatter your body build.
9. Be irrationaly confident. Doesn't matter if she's Jennifer Lopez and you are a broke kid, look at her boytoy
10. Do not get attached. If you get emotionally attached to one woman at a time that kills off your chances from sleeping with the other women who are attracted to you, because FEEEELINGS.
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1. Okay we have already covered that working out is the single, most accessible way to improve your looks.
2. Getting a tan is a bad lifestyle choice. You'll have wrinkled skin when you get old, or worse you'll develop skin cancer. Bad idea.
3. Get your body waxed? Ew! I bet if I asked 100 women what they thought about men doing this I'd get 100 "ick" answers. Ladies, your comments?
4. Get tattoos? Did you intend for your post to be facetious? This idea is so ridiculous as to not be worth further discussion, BUT, I bet there are many women who would not date somebody with prominent tattoos.
5. Getting braces? Just curious, can people of ANY age get them?
6. I wouldn't get my teeth whitened but I won't diss it either. Depends. I will add that you had better have excellent dental health or get the treatment necessary to achieve it. Definitely do something about any missing teeth. Once again this is a lifestyle choice. You'll feel better about yourself if your teeth look good, and you will have better physical health if you have good dental health. Take care and you can have a full set of teeth your entire life (even if some of them are prosthetic).
7. Get a good haircut, hell yes! You can't pick your hair but you can get a good hairdresser and make the best of what you got. I say hairdresser (salon type) rather than barber (shop, walk-in) because I think paying a bit more gets a more talented person. IIRC it's $25 at Supercuts, $45 at my salon, except my hairdresser shampoos my hair first then cuts it as it dries. I tip her well too. My hair isn't very good but it looks the best I can get it.
8. Wear stylish clothes: I already covered this, it's not expensive to dress nicely. I get most of my casual clothes at Walmart. I'd say dress neatly and try to color coordinate, you can get good ideas by going to any mall and picking out the better dressed people near your age and same gender, copy the ones who look good.
9. Be irrationally confident? You sound like you're saying be cocky. I'm not buying this. Be your natural self.
10. Don't get attached... That's tactical mission data and we're all on different missions. If your mission is to date a lot of different people then do what you said. Some of us are on a mission to achieve an enduring relationship (like me). This item will depend on individual preferences. Showing interest too early is probably a bad tactic but it isn't invariably fatal.