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I have a friend (we are both female) in my neighborhood who is a nice person. But mostly we get together occasionally in the evening to have drinks and chat. We will look after each other's houses when the other is out of town. Our kids play and once in a while we will watch each other's kid.
I recently went out of town for a week and a half without my husband (I took the kids, he stayed home alone). The friend I mentioned is going through a divorce and is stressed out and maybe a bit lonely. While I was gone I called home one night and she was over having drinks with my husband. I am not a jealous person in general, but it made me uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. My husband told me she didn't make any moves or anything, was just a bit tipsy and wanted someone to talk to. Ok, that's fine.
But when I got home I was talking to him and he was telling me about the updates about her divorce. He was really feeling terrible for her and going on and on about what a terrible person her husband is. She told him *so much* more about her marriage and the details of her decision to leave then she ever told me. Super personal stuff. She also came over more then once (I think 3 times) in the evening to chat. She doesn't come over that often to chat with me, but then again, things are happening pretty fast right now with her divorce.
I trust my husband that nothing romantic happened. He told me she didn't stay long but he felt bad for her and wanted to be nice and let her vent. I told him flat out that it wasn't ok with me. While I trust him, it makes me feel uneasy. I pointed out that if the situation was turned around, he would also feel uneasy. And in a marriage we need to keep things like that in mind, because it isn't fair to our spouse. He agreed but still kind of laughed me off. Grrrrrrr…
But back to my neighbor friend. She has told me many times how lucky I am to have my husband and how great he is. She often invites him to hang out with us (which is polite...but I would rather just girl talk). While I was away she and I were texting and she "joked" that my husband was glad I was gone, which I felt a bit insecure about after because I worried he had told her that. Knowing these things...I just feel a bit put off. I have an "icky feeling" in my gut. I am not a jealous person, but right now I am feeling...uneasy about the situation.
Anyways, I would be open to some outside thoughts.
I have a friend (we are both female) in my neighborhood who is a nice person. But mostly we get together occasionally in the evening to have drinks and chat. We will look after each other's houses when the other is out of town. Our kids play and once in a while we will watch each other's kid.
I recently went out of town for a week and a half without my husband (I took the kids, he stayed home alone). The friend I mentioned is going through a divorce and is stressed out and maybe a bit lonely. While I was gone I called home one night and she was over having drinks with my husband. I am not a jealous person in general, but it made me uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. My husband told me she didn't make any moves or anything, was just a bit tipsy and wanted someone to talk to. Ok, that's fine.
But when I got home I was talking to him and he was telling me about the updates about her divorce. He was really feeling terrible for her and going on and on about what a terrible person her husband is. She told him *so much* more about her marriage and the details of her decision to leave then she ever told me. Super personal stuff. She also came over more then once (I think 3 times) in the evening to chat. She doesn't come over that often to chat with me, but then again, things are happening pretty fast right now with her divorce.
I trust my husband that nothing romantic happened. He told me she didn't stay long but he felt bad for her and wanted to be nice and let her vent. I told him flat out that it wasn't ok with me. While I trust him, it makes me feel uneasy. I pointed out that if the situation was turned around, he would also feel uneasy. And in a marriage we need to keep things like that in mind, because it isn't fair to our spouse. He agreed but still kind of laughed me off. Grrrrrrr…
But back to my neighbor friend. She has told me many times how lucky I am to have my husband and how great he is. She often invites him to hang out with us (which is polite...but I would rather just girl talk). While I was away she and I were texting and she "joked" that my husband was glad I was gone, which I felt a bit insecure about after because I worried he had told her that. Knowing these things...I just feel a bit put off. I have an "icky feeling" in my gut. I am not a jealous person, but right now I am feeling...uneasy about the situation.
Anyways, I would be open to some outside thoughts.
Well, I am a jealous person and I would have a problem with this.
(sigh) I feel for you OP. I went through a similar thing myself. My now ex wife and my best friend. Who is now an ex best friend. No it is totally inappropriate for this lady to hang out with your husband while you are gone all her pain and problems aside. The latter actually is drinking kerosene and pizzing on a brushfire when the pair gets together while you are gone.
S*** Happens was never more apt. I'm speaking as a man, but man or woman a foot needs to go down in situations like this.
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