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When my dad and I were close when I was 16-17, we used to talk about it a lot. Usually he’d give bad advice. Not because he was stupid, but because he wanted to sabotage things for me and wanted me to be bitter and alone like he was for most of his adult life.
Father figured out I as sexually active when I was in high school and had the talk with me. I laughed... by then he was several years behind. He did say that he would be happy to buy me condoms if I was too embarrassed and made me promise to use them. When I moved in with my GF(s) in college, he recommended that I don't tell my mother at least until I'm more serious about a single woman.
That's about the closest to advice in this area that was handed to me from a parent.
I mostly just asked my best friend for advice, as he had a steady girlfriend and was a bit ahead of me as far as having sex goes. He didn’t really get too in-depth about things between he and his girlfriend, out of respect for her. Which I always respected and I sort of adopted once I had a steady girlfriend that I really cared about. My much older cousin of almost 17 years would also give me some tips.
How they were raised...social messages they themselves were exposed to...missteps they made and didn't learn from...personality traits that contribute to finding such topics awkward or unpleasant to discuss...deep-seated hangups learned from others...a misguided notion that if you give children complete information, they can't be trusted to proceed responsibly with it...lots of reasons.
I learned everything I needed to know from Sassy magazine and NYC public school health curriculum.
Sassy was invaluable. I had very frank and approachable parents who also avoided being offputting and overshar-y, but I was also something of an "independent researcher," and Sassy was heads above other sources in that it didn't condescend.
My step dad tried to tell me about the birds and the bees. I just started laughing. He was very awkward and absolutely awful at explaining it. His basic “advice” was keep it in your pants.
Too bad by that time I learned about the birds and bees from some of my moms female friends. It was great until me of them grew a conscience and told my mom. Then the ***** hit the proverbial fan.
I don’t get what’s so hard about talking to your kids about sex. Jesus Christ you had sex to make them right? I think a lot of this awkwardness from parents is due to their own upbringing.
I don't mean "they just gave you a book", I mean absolutely nothing. I suppose my social awkwardness prevented that conversation from popping up as my parents probably knew I was never going to start dating (as well as the fact that they moved me to a single sex school).
I did try and converse with my mother but she'd always tell me to talk to my father. I didn't like that because even though both my parents were emotionally distant, it was to the extreme with my father. I never talked to him because it was pointless.
yes, my mother told me that no matter what I do, to never become overweight because that would 100% kill my chances with attractive women, and my father told me to always go for the party girls/tattoo'ed/pink-blue hair pixiegirl type, because those are the best ones in bed. Father also told me to enjoy my youth as much as possible because there are way too many young guys who commit to the first girl who'll bang them, and because of that they go on to miss out on a lot of fun.
There was a gas station near my house that I would hang out at when I was a kid. I'd check out all the cars and there was a cast of characters that would stop by at night, show off their cars and BS with the staff. It was a bit of a local hangout, things were different back then. I befriended the staff and they gave me the birds and the bees talk one night. It was pretty straightforward if you know what I mean.
In general pre-Internet porn you got told by an older kid or Uncle. Cinemax wasn't entirely helpful since it wasn't hardcore and therefore censored. It is actually not that easy to get the Johnson in some because they have odd hooked or curved shapes. You don't learn this in High school.
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