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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2
Bull****....women are just as horny as men.... Yes, there are some who get offended if you kiss them on the lips on your first date. There are just as many who will bang you in the back seat of your car after a few drinks.... Most of us, men and women, fall in the middle.... Anyway, hookers is NOT the answer.... Go meet real women.... Heck, go to church bingo. The old lady you sit next to may have a divorced daughter to fix you up with....
Thursday or Friday. 5 pm. Payday. Creep around the grocery store deli where they cook the rotisserie chickens... 90% of the young cute female rotisserie chicken buyers are single on Thursday and Friday.... Say "ugh, rotisserie chicken again... I'm tired of it too. Want to go up the street to Red Robin and get a burger and a beer? My treat".
Sex is extremely important to men after all his other basic needs are met. Getting his sexual needs met determines the quality and satisfaction of men with his life. I believe that is almost a biological instinct although it is of lower priority than basic human needs of food, water and shelter...
Yes and if a man can not get those from a willing women, I see no problem with him occasionally paying for this experience with a high quality sex worker. Yes, it is not the same as with willing woman but it is better than not getting any "human contact, the touch, and the validation and connection..."
I think that "transactional" approach is realistic. You can call it cynical of you want... If you don't want to use the word "transaction", feel free to use some other word. But I see all relationships as based on transactions to some extent or an exchange of something for something. In the early stages of dating, this usually means that men pays for dates in exchange for a change to develop a relationship and eventually have sex. In later stages, if the couple gets married, men have to contribute to paying for everything, buying the couple's home, contributing to the running of the household, taking care of children, etc. If he is unable to do any of these, the woman will eventually walk out on him as evidenced by the fact that women break up more than 60% of all marriages. That is despite the fact that supposedly all marriages are based on "love".
Absolute fantasy. Men in the US almost always have to spend money in the initial stages of dating. Just read one of the forever popular "Who pays for the first date" thread...
That has not been my experience. I have paid for men on dates, particularly one guy who was really kind of sketchy and down on his luck--I was not making very good choices and he was not a good choice of partner, but I liked him at the time, so I paid his way to have his company. My boyfriend and I have always split the bill and paid our own way, from the very beginning, and continuing now. Every first date I ever went on, I asked, "Hey, I can pay for mine, it's really no big deal" and sometimes the guy would be cool with that, and sometimes he would absolutely insist on paying, and if he insisted, I said, "Are you sure?" and if he confirmed then I dropped it and let him pay. Some guys really feel the need to do that, I'm just wanting it to not be awkward or weird either way.
But I'm a woman in my 30's who makes good money. I can damn well afford to buy my own dinner. When I was, say, 18-22, I would have taken a guy up on it because I was young and broke. If guys are chasing really young women, well, they might be ramen-munching-college-kids. What are they supposed to say when someone offers them free food? And of course there are also women who were raised to be kind of high-maintenance and princessy, or very traditionalist, or what have you. But dating them is a CHOICE. Playing that game by those rules is a CHOICE. It is not a requirement.
I know a nearly perpetually homeless, jobless, sketchy dude who never in his life had trouble getting laid. He isn't bad looking but he's not a "10" or anything, however he does play acoustic guitar and carries his guitar around everywhere. What are women getting out of having sex with him? He has nothing to offer, except that he's cute and can play guitar. Women dig him for who/what he is, not for what he is offering in exchange.
I'm not saying that transactional thinking is completely inaccurate, but it's a case of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" to some extent. It does not have to be that way. It's a choice among many. And I don't see a lot of happiness coming of it...and I place a pretty high premium on happiness.
So yeah, I believe that those who undertake life partnerships with a head full of score-keeping and transactional thought and behavior, even if they find "success" often end up unhappy. Your sexless marriages, divorces, etc. I don't want to be in a long term relationship with a man who thinks along the lines of, "I provide a paycheck, so you owe me sex." Ugh. No. A woman can only lie there and think of England for ten minutes once weekly as routine husband maintenance, for so many years... More than that, requires the kind of deep love and appreciation and shared happiness that you do not get with a bought-and-paid-for partner.
I'm not interested in banging my friends. My female friends are women I'm not attracted to. Because of the lack of physical attraction that I have for them, I feel that I can have truly genuine and honest friendships instead of doing what many, many guy ''friends'' do which is to hang out trying to one day get a mercy bang out of it
I eschew sex with my female friends from a cost-benefit standpoint. If I pursue sex, anything could happen:
#1. PREGNANCY RISK. The only 100% safe contraceptive is abstinence. (Or a vasectomy, but they don't teach it in sex ed.)
#2. Sex is restricted to relationships for most men, which I want no part of, given my observations in the last 2 years.
#3. MeToo. 'Nuff said.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
And you know, from him and other men I have known who have been though dry spells, what they tell me is, it's not the sex they are truly missing when they really think about it, the physical release, that's easy enough to do alone. It's the human contact, the touch, and the validation and connection. The drive to love or feel loved, wanted. It's just that our culture has made it so that most men can only imagine finding any of that in a sexual interaction. Which is kind of sad.
I suppose I'm lucky in that regard. I have female friends, and things like close hugs and embraces or dips while dancing aren't uncommon. It's not romantic or sexual, it's just how we interact. Which I fully understand. (Not unlike how women think nothing of hugging or cuddling with their friends.) Which causes women to feel more comfortable with me, which causes them to continue the physical interactions, which, in the end, results in an anti-vicious cycle. Although I wonder: Would they feel as comfortable with the hugs and what-have you, if my libido weren't so low? (They do the same with their other male friends, and we all respect each other's boundaries, but still.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
Anybody watch Gene Simmons tuck tail and beg and grovel to keep his relationship with his lady in that reality show? Now why do you think a man who can get hot girls as easy as snapping his fingers, and always could, effortlessly, would put his pride on the line for one woman, and no 18-22 year old at that? Because he wanted the real deal.
It'd a TV show, "reality" nonewithstanding. It's supposed to maintain the Blue Pill illusion for the unwashed masses to consume. Showing the cold, harsh truth (even though it's a "reality" show) will cause the ratings to tank, and no TV studio wants that. In real life, the Gene Simmons character would be dumped, shamed, and/or MeToo'ed.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980
Uhh they mean the same thing dude lol
I just find it funny how you always tell guys stop complaining it’s not about looks .. well unless you’re short lol
No, they do not mean the same thing at all. Read again.
Look around. There is no shortage of shorter guys in relationships with good looking people. There is no shortage of woman that will date shorter guys.
That is a completely different thing than saying there are plenty of women that aren't attracted to shorter guys.
Those things are all true.
Just like its true that there are plenty of guys that aren't interested in very curvy women, yet very curvy women date and find themselves in relationships with good looking guys routinely.
I eschew sex with my female friends from a cost-benefit standpoint. If I pursue sex, anything could happen:
#1. PREGNANCY RISK. The only 100% safe contraceptive is abstinence. (Or a vasectomy, but they don't teach it in sex ed.)
#2. Sex is restricted to relationships for most men, which I want no part of, given my observations in the last 2 years.
#3. MeToo. 'Nuff said.
I suppose I'm lucky in that regard. I have female friends, and things like close hugs and embraces or dips while dancing aren't uncommon. It's not romantic or sexual, it's just how we interact. (Not unlike how women think nothing of hugging or cuddling with their friends.) Which I fully understand. Which causes women to feel more comfortable with me, which causes them to continue the physical interactions, which, in the end, results in an anti-vicious cycle. Although I wonder: Would they feel as comfortable with the hugs and what-have you, if my libido weren't so low? (They do the same with their other male friends, and we all respect each other's boundaries.)
It'd a TV show, "reality" nonewithstanding. It's supposed to maintain the Blue Pill illusion for the unwashed masses to consume. Showing the harsh reality (even though it's a "reality" show) will cause the ratings to tank, and no TV studio wants that. In real life, the Gene Simmons character would be dumped, shamed, and/or MeToo'ed.
The middle paragraph here: You remind me of my problem hugger. We have actually had to explain to him how to hug people without making them feel like he is violating boundaries. He was turning every hug into a pelvis-pressing snuggle session. Women started feeling uncomfortable and avoiding him. Thing is, I even find him attractive, but because I am not in the market for a new partner I just have nothing to offer him. His behavior comes off as thirsty, as pushing towards a desired outcome, which every woman everywhere assumes is sexual, because usually with guys...it is. If you started acting like you were pushing, testing boundaries, seeking a sexual outcome, with a woman who wasn't receptive to it, the boundaries and walls would slam into place. They would suddenly become a lot less comfortable with physical contact with you.
I agree that it was a show, and not entirely reflective of all things reality, but I think that aspect of it was 100% correct. I have known many musicians who do the same thing, they have lots of groupie sex, and sometimes treat those women with great disrespect (which is sometimes understandable, as some of them are drunk, trashy, whatever) but all of this behavior makes them kind of hate women, hate themselves, lose faith in love even being real, lose the ability to trust. Then one day they meet "The One"...and they are carrying all that baggage, which usually causes challenges in their relationship.
That is what I'm talking about with telling guys to be careful with all the transactional stuff, everything from prostitutes to strippers to even seeing dating that way. It CAN warp your whole perspective. Which just adds to the challenge level and puts obstacles in your way if one day you try to have a loving LTR.
And yes, no matter what anyone thinks, actual love that validates and celebrates who people are to one another and is not a matter of money-for-sex or any other kind of weird economics...it is real, it exists. It might not be easy to find, and maybe some folks don't want to (fine!) but it can happen. I am doing it right now. It's wonderful. I wish everyone could experience what this feels like because it's like that Wizard of Oz moment of living in a black and white "reality" and suddenly seeing in color.
No, they do not mean the same thing at all. Read again.
Look around. There is no shortage of shorter guys in relationships with good looking people. There is no shortage of woman that will date shorter guys.
That is a completely different thing than saying there are plenty of women that aren't attracted to shorter guys.
Those things are all true.
Just like its true that there are plenty of guys that aren't interested in very curvy women, yet very curvy women date and find themselves in relationships with good looking guys routinely.
So it is about looks..
And I don’t get why all short guys have to be compared to fat women
Thursday or Friday. 5 pm. Payday. Creep around the grocery store deli where they cook the rotisserie chickens... 90% of the young cute female rotisserie chicken buyers are single on Thursday and Friday.... Say "ugh, rotisserie chicken again... I'm tired of it too. Want to go up the street to Red Robin and get a burger and a beer? My treat".
And I don’t get why all short guys have to be compared to fat women
Shouldn’t fat women be compared to fat men?
Not all short guys are compared to unattractive women. It's only the ugly/balding/out of shape/old/guy that happens to be short, that is being compared to unattractive women. The rest of the short men are doing just fine, thanks. Now imagine a guy who is all of that put together. Poor bastard that guy is.
The problem with those guys that blame their dating problems on their height is that.. they don't have anything to make up for being an inch shorter than average(I'm being sarcastic; try living in the Netherlands where every man is over 6 feet tall).
And they have too many flaws, physical and mental, for women to consider dating. And don't think height is the all-to-be magic shorties in America think it is. A deformed(big nose, crooked teeth etc) man is still very unattractive even if he was 6'6''.
I got friends who are 6'3'' and can't get laid, and friends who are 5'5'' and they get laid like tiles being laid on a construction job. And with women who are attractive. I gotta point that out because apparently very unattractive men only consider sex to be sex if it happens with women way out of their league.
Stop complaining about your height and go approach women. If all you can get is unattractive women, congrats you just found your physical equivalent. If ya don't like it, hire an escort. It's pretty simple. Oh, and if you want love, hire an escort aswell, because love is paid for even when it's free.
Quote:
Bull****....women are just as horny as men....
Quote:
So very very true.
Wait, but I thought the female consensus on this was that most women aren't interested in casual sex? ahem.
of course that depends on the age group.
If we are talking about middle-aged women, considering how most men around that age are either broke, out of shape, bald, their genitalia doesn't work right no more, alcoholics, addicted to drugs, bitter about women due to being divorced and losing their stuff - any decent-looking middle-aged man can get laid like he's a porn star and got hired to shoot a marathon-long porno.
Women aged 18-25 are a different matter. The ones worth banging still expect you to pretend you like them, that you don't just want to smash, and unless you be Sean O'Pry,
literally the #2 most famous and beloved male model in the world who can just go up to a girl and say 'sup lemme smash'(actually he wouldn't even need to approach) you gotta spend a few days, if not weeks, convincing her to sleep with you. Or maybe it's just me because I'm not aesthetic enough, and you guys can lay pipe on that in a matter of a few hours.
Such is life for men, nothing is free
I would show who is the #1 male model in the world, but he's like 35 years old so who cares LOL
Last edited by Marshyy; 07-12-2018 at 11:38 AM..
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(They do the same with their other male friends, and we all respect each other's boundaries, but still.)
