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Old 07-09-2018, 06:19 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,627,532 times
Reputation: 73585

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How about a conversation where you ask her these things? I know it's crazy, but it just may work.
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Last edited by Mikala43; 07-09-2018 at 08:14 PM..
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Old 07-09-2018, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,428 posts, read 86,506,480 times
Reputation: 131269
Yeah. I was just about to post that ^^^
Why don't you ask her how she wants to be introduced to people you know?
It seems to me that you guys don't talk about basics.
What about asking her what she feels about this relationship. It's somehow obvious that you are more engaged, sure about your feelings and want to proceed while she is not there, yet. Some people need more that 3 months to figure out those things.
She is not sure about you yet, and there is nothing you can do, except trying your best and waiting. But hiding her isn't making anything better, and I think she probably noticed what you are doing.
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Old 07-09-2018, 09:15 PM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,428 posts, read 86,506,480 times
Reputation: 131269
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammerfists View Post
I can't say she is just a friend if I introduced her to any of them because that will hurt her, also I know it's difficult for her to intoduce me to her friends/family as BF, so all I wanted is just we wait untill we can make it official -both of us-, I'm ready to make it but she is not yet, otherwise I will hate it if people from my side know she is my GF but her prople know that I'm only a friend.
I don't know, but to me all that sounds a bit bizarre.
You don't want to introduce her as your GF because it will HURT HER, and she DOESN'T WANT to introduce you as her BF, because you are not a BF to her.
So, you decided to hide the fact that you're seeing each other till IT'S official. In short, you both are NOT in an BF/ GF relationship at all, you just wish that it's so.
Practically you are just FRIENDS seeing each other and YOU are waiting for things to develop. There is no relationship to announce. (and why it's so important to you to ANNOUNCE a relationship, anyway?)
Therefore like others said, introduce her with her name and skip the explanation. That should do for both of you.

Is she the same person you talked about on your previous threads?

BTW:
Quote:
...she wanted always that I prove my love in a way that meets her standards in love, I try to show it but in my own way which -most of time- doesn't make her satisfied. ... She never said "I love you" directly.
... Many times I recieve indirect signals of doubt from her side.
... I have the feeling that she will not introduce me as a boyfriend to her friends or family because she seems in doubt about a lot of things .
... I really need her...
It doesn't sounds that this "relationship" is going anywhere. I don't know what are you doing for her, but it sounds that you're being played.

Definition of being played by someone:
If someone pretends to be your friend, while actually undermining you for their benefit.

Last edited by elnina; 07-09-2018 at 09:50 PM..
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Old 07-09-2018, 09:45 PM
 
Location: Queens, NY
4,525 posts, read 3,395,097 times
Reputation: 6030
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
The simple solution to that is to not introduce her in context to you. When I introduce someone, I don't say "My friend, Sarah", or "My girlfriend, Sarah", I just say, "This is Sarah". Simple enough, and avoid the possessive phrasing that so many women dislike intensely.
This
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Old 07-09-2018, 10:24 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,659,779 times
Reputation: 54735
*sigh*

Don't dads or uncles teach young boys the basics of human relationships anymore?
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Old 07-10-2018, 12:38 PM
 
1,278 posts, read 1,111,571 times
Reputation: 4004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammerfists View Post
What if you wanted to introduce your boyfriend to everyone and he don't want to do the same with his friends and family, do you think you will go for it?

How do you know since you've never even asked her?
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Old 07-10-2018, 12:45 PM
 
6,844 posts, read 3,936,307 times
Reputation: 15854
Who cares? Why make it so complicated? Why keep score? Enjoy her company. If it lasts, great. If it doesn't, it doesn't. No need for either of you to prove your love or anything else. Sounds like you are both playing childish games.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammerfists View Post
You got my post wrong -or I was not accurate in explaining- we never ran into any of my/her friends/family or met any by chance, but rather we were in some places where one or two of my people were nearby -I know they were there but they didn't notice my presense-, the thing is I can't say she is just a friend if I introduced her to any of them because that will hurt her, also I know it's difficult for her to intoduce me to her friends/family as BF, so all I wanted is just we wait untill we can make it official -both of us-, I'm ready to make it but she is not yet, otherwise I will hate it if people from my side know she is my GF but her prople know that I'm only a friend.
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Old 07-10-2018, 12:47 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
*sigh*

Don't dads or uncles teach young boys the basics of human relationships anymore?


Did they ever? Like most guys I know, we figured out things through trial and error.
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