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OK, so it seems that the OP wants to break up with the GF, start dating someone else, and then when he's ready to move in a year or two, break up with the new GF, get back with the old one, and start living together in a new city?
And speaking of the volumes that speaks....consider the same time/day he's also making arrangements to sleep with a total stranger
"I talked to a woman on a dating site yesterday. She was honestly quite attractive, but had so many issues. She just wanted intimacy. That's fine with me. We talked all day. I sent her a message before bed asking if she was still interested in sleeping together. She said yes, but she felt so inferior to me that she was embarrassed to meet me and wouldn't do so.
I have some 40 year old interested in me. She isn't very attractive, but does own a small business so should have enough income to go out."
Dude bought her a $1,000 Iphone 3 weeks after they met, and he did nothing but complain about her attitude back THEN.
Bought it and expected her parents to just pick up the tab every month. What?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation
I figured her parents would pick up the tab for $35/month service. They haven't. They aren't poor - they just bought a new Civic for her brother, who is only 20 and has a job of his own. I didn't think the $35/month phone plan would be a big deal, but they won't pick it up. I'm not cutting her phone off and making her do without - she really needs it, but I'm stuck paying the bill.
Self-inflicted.
I didn't read/know about the original thread about this situation.
Yeah, there is a whole cocktail of stuff going on that speaks to the OP's general restlessness and seeming dissatisfaction, I think.
It seems like he might be in a pattern of just pursuing whatever's in front of him that has the fewest impediments to access, and then looks back on it and reflects on it not really being what he wants...whether that's taking a job in the hometown area when the hometown area isn't remotely appealing, or dating a woman with obvious limitations on personal independence, despite major reservations from the very inception of the whole arrangement. His posts really come off like he's settling for stuff he doesn't want and then wallowing about those decisions after the fact. And being mad about the situation being what it is.
I'm starting to wonder if the OP is planning to drag his gf along with him to wherever, out of a sense of obligation/duty and guilt, while hoping to live something closer to a singles lifestyle behind her back.
OP, let her go. This "relationship" has only been a few months. You're not beholden to her. Would a breakup be messy? Yes, but it would be honest. Then you'll be free to date whomever, explore your sexuality, and have the more free-wheeling life you seem to crave. There's nothing wrong with that. You shouldn't be leading your gf on, though.
Now we REALLY need clarification from the OP! OP, why are you looking to date other women, while planning to move the gf you're tired of, with you to NC?
She's not moving with me until she's walking, if we're still together. She's just now able to get up the stairs to my bedroom at my condo.
And you obviously need to cut the girl with lupus loose.
You're on an online forum bitching to strangers about how exhausting and emotionally taxing shoe shopping with her is. Think about the volumes that speaks.
Damn, Tab. You're going in. I like it.
I completely agree. Unfortunately this kind of stuff is common. People will act all self righteous because they have "feelings" until they realize it was absolute desperation and they didn't think the situation through. The cognitive dissonance they feel is so overwhelming they begin deluding themselves trying wriggle out the situation by constantly complaining about their own bad decisions. At some point people have to own up, say I up, and hold the "L."
Well, and the OP has been completely openly acknowledging red flags about this arrangement FROM THE VERY GET-GO.
And now, it's all, "I'm just so frustrated by the situation...WHAT IS WRONG WITH SMALL TOWN TENNESSEE THAT I'M IN THIS SITUATION????"
Dude. It's not small-town Tennessee that's the problem. It's that you made a dumb choice.
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up, and hold the "L."