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So you have your long distance lady who is like, "certainly continue to see other people."
You have local lady, and after confiding your situation with long-distance lady, she was ok and you felt closer to her even than before, right?
Quote:
Originally Posted by deepsix
Well, I decided to throw out all of the advice in this thread, and told the local girl about the visit happening tomorrow.
I'm actually glad I did it. Some other stuff came out in our conversation which actually led to us bonding more.
And as an additional upside, I'm not hiding anything now.
Is it ok with you if both/either of these women have other partners as well?
If so, and you're all being nice and honest-like about it...congrats dude, you are doing polyamory.
There are books about how to go about doing that and best practices that get best results. You might consider looking into it. If you have any particular questions or want recommendations on what to read or online resources, feel free to PM me. I was poly for a while, it was great, and I know lots of people who are very happily poly and have been for years.
So you have your long distance lady who is like, "certainly continue to see other people."
You have local lady, and after confiding your situation with long-distance lady, she was ok and you felt closer to her even than before, right?
Is it ok with you if both/either of these women have other partners as well?
If so, and you're all being nice and honest-like about it...congrats dude, you are doing polyamory.
There are books about how to go about doing that and best practices that get best results. You might consider looking into it. If you have any particular questions or want recommendations on what to read or online resources, feel free to PM me. I was poly for a while, it was great, and I know lots of people who are very happily poly and have been for years.
Unfortunately, it's not quite that simple. The reason the long-distance woman encouraged me to see other people was because she knows I cannot do long-distance. And hasn't figured out how to make the move out here.
And I would be quite surprised if the local girl would be okay with being in a relationship with me while I have feelings for somebody else. But the next step for me is to talk to her and figure out what's what from here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicken-wings
Man, you're gonna break her heart. Oh well
I don't know about that. Her visit here left me in a state such that if she moved here, our relationship would immediately progress into something serious.
I don't know about that. Her visit here left me in a state such that if she moved here, our relationship would immediately progress into something serious.
If that's true you need to pick one. I have a feeling that local girl will NOT be ok with the fact that you just had a sex weekend with the other woman while you're chatting her up.
It sounds like you need to cut the out-of-town woman loose, and never mention the rendezvous to the local girl.
I have no comment about OP and his two love interests. I'll leave that for others, not sure I even have any opinion.
However, Ms. out-of-town is unlikely to have a return visit any time soon so OP can focus on local woman, and decide later about what to do with Ms. out-of-town. For example, if she can't fly back until next month, then it's a problem that can be deferred until next month. Until then talk is just talk.
If I were Ms. out-of-town I'd expect OP to fly out and visit me next meet. That's only fair. If I were OP I'd be excited in a DTF in a new city. (I don't do DTFs, but I'm putting this in the perspective of our OP.)
Just curious OP, how was Ms. out-of-town? Was she cute and fun to be with? (besides the sex) Is there any chance you or her may relocate? I'm thinking of your long term situation.
If I were Ms. out-of-town I'd expect OP to fly out and visit me next meet. That's only fair. If I were OP I'd be excited in a DTF in a new city. (I don't do DTFs, but I'm putting this in the perspective of our OP.)
I intend on paying her a visit. I have to figure out the timing though - she teaches so her schedule gets busy next week.
Quote:
Just curious OP, how was Ms. out-of-town? Was she cute and fun to be with? (besides the sex) Is there any chance you or her may relocate? I'm thinking of your long term situation.
She's a little quieter than most women I've gone out with. But we also knew a lot about each other without meeting, which made some of that chat unnecessary. But when I did ask questions, she could talk and talk with no hangups.
She's a pretty good looking woman, has a gorgeous smile, and yes, I enjoyed her company outside the bedroom.
There's a chance of her moving here; she doesn't like her job and wants to get a fresh start. Her only hangup is that her parents live in the northeast and is an only child. So if she moved that would be hard on them.
Deepsix, I think you are in a pretty good situation! Just keep your head and I think you are headed for some good times!
Let's just hope that both don't work out or you'll have some serious decisions ahead.
I'll call this a happy ending... or a happy beginning!
(She can always go back and visit her parents to keep close.)
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