Girlfriend found out I'm texting other girls behind her back (dating, wife)
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Hello my friends of CD, its been a while. How are you guys doing? You guys konw I'm dating for almost 7 months, what I'm about to say here please I don't want to be judged but last saturday we were at a party with our friends and my girlfriend asked my phone so she could take a picture or text her brother, I don't remember exactly. Later in the night she said she saw texts from two girls, she was a little upset and she asked me who they were. I told her one of them is a girl from another city I met online on social media, never met her in person. The other one is a girl who dated my ex brother in law and I didn't have anything with her too.
I never cheated on her but honestly sometimes I text a few girls, some are coworkers, some are girls I hooked up with in the past, some are just friends, even my ex wife. But what if she texts other guys too? I'm not a saint but she isn't too. I know I'm wrong doing this and after what happened last saturday I stopped talking with them and deleted some texts, and I'm starting to think about "What if the reason I am too paranoid and suspicious and have trust issues is because Am I trustworthy?" Because this is exactly what my girlfriend said to me when she found out about the texts. I'm feeling like the worst person in the universe, seriously!
What I thought weird is she was jealous but after we talked and I told her everything about these two girls she was ok, she just said "Ok, I get it!" We even had sex in the same day, and again the other day. Is this weird? Sometimes I think I wanted that she would feel jealous but this is because if this happened with me my reaction of course I would freak out. I want to be open with her, I'm even thinking about give her my phone password, and show her all my conversations with girls on instagram/facebook and other texts and explain everything (of course I will delete some texts first), but how should I approach this? In other words I need your advice so she can feel safe with me and trust me. Our relationship has enough issues because of my insecurities but after I've started therapy things are getting better, thanks God. What you think I should do so she can feel safe with me?
Texting is not like you are having sex. It's not who you are texting, it's what the content is. If the content is benign then just forget it. It sounds like she's already okay with that. Move on.
No, don't give your password to your lover. And don't share all that extra stuff. Sooner or later something that looks bad even if it isn't really bad will come up. There is no reason to volunteer extra stuff. The way you stated this makes you sound needy, and insecure like you said. This looks bad to almost everybody if their own problems don't blind them to it.
As already said, address your insecurity problems with your therapist.
What I would do, is give her the password and leave your phone out in the open so she can regain your trust.That's if you're serious about this relatioship? By your actions, it doesn't seem you are.
Trust isn't given once you've earned it; its an ongoing process in a relationship. Dont do things to question that trust i.e. texting multiple women on social media, ex lovers, etc. Thats just stupid, imo.
I don't see anything wrong with keeping in touch with other women if you aren't trying to date them on the sly. As long as you are friends but not with benefits!
Doesn't she keep up with a few other guys on SM?
If she's terribly insecure, text them when she's around so she can see that it's just a way of communication, to keep in touch or see how someone is doing...
I never cheated on her but honestly sometimes I text a few girls, some are coworkers, some are girls I hooked up with in the past, some are just friends, even my ex wife. But what if she texts other guys too? I'm not a saint but she isn't too. I know I'm wrong doing this and after what happened last saturday I stopped talking with them and deleted some texts, and I'm starting to think about "What if the reason I am too paranoid and suspicious and have trust issues is because Am I trustworthy?" Because this is exactly what my girlfriend said to me when she found out about the texts. I'm feeling like the worst person in the universe, seriously!
Well, are you trustworthy? Is there anything in those text conversations that you wouldn't want your girlfriend to know about?
Why would you say "behind her back"? Those are YOUR words. In your mind, you are doing something secretive and sneaky.
Now you need to ask yourself why you feel it's wrong, and also why you keep doing it.
Do you like being a "bad little boy"? Is this how you got attention from your mother?
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