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I have to laugh, because literally every time we are getting food in a situation like this, my husband will say, "What do you want?" And I'll say, "Surprise me," and he goes and orders whatever. It isn't because I'm meek or browbeaten, and I don't feel that my independence is jeopardized by not making a point to order my own food. It's because I really don't care, and he knows my tastes, so whatever he orders will be fine. It isn't because I've given up and have no soul, or because I'm not allowed to voice my own opinions. LOL.
Yup. Seriously, OP; who cares about ordering sandwiches? lol
From the outside looking in, as a never-married man who has observed, often in horror, male friends, relatives and acquaintances transformed after getting married, I can truthfully say it appears testosterone evaporates from men's bodies; spines turn to jelly; and strength of will rapidly fades after saying "I do."
It's called "love". Do they start calling their wife "schmoopie", too? Guys who have never experienced falling in love have a tendency toward frequent outward displays of testosterone. Those who have experienced happy, satisfying relationships know there's more to life than chest-beating, expensive macho cars, and the like.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SomeGuyInFairfax;
At least that is how it is when they relate to their wives. (I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard a married man, contemplating a purchase of even a trivial item, say, "If my wife lets me." Dafuq!!!???)
Of course, I am not in their shoes and therefore cannot fully understand why that happens. However, having had my fair share of relationships, I do understand the pressure to "make her happy" (even if it makes us unhappy). So imagine how much greater that pressure must be when you feel contractually bound to do so, with potentially painful penalties if you decide not to do it any more.
That would demoralize the f*** out of me, and turn me into a damp rag too, if I ever found myself in that position.
Being in a couple is about making each other happy. There's reciprocity involved. It's a positive feedback loop, the opposite of a vicious circle, so there's no "pressure". Rather, the good vibes one gets spontaneously give rise to the desire to give similar good vibes. You seem to be struggling with the concept. Maybe your partners weren't a good fit for you.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 07-27-2018 at 08:52 AM..
Well, the lonely guys have trouble understanding that when you are well-coupled, you WANT to make the other one happy; even if it's inconvenient to you.
So, lonely guys, keep on insisting that you must always remain IN CHARGE and FREE and INDEPENDENT and that anything different would mean you have been EMASCULATED! You'll remain lonely guys.
How can a man forget the simple skill of ordering in a restaurant? That's just telling somebody what you want to eat!
I don't know WTH about this topic but it seems like some kind of weird way to dis married men.
The thing is, the OP's example wasn't even about ordering in a restaurant. I understood it was about getting a sandwich made at a deli counter. I'm sure those guys do their own ordering (and quite possibly their partner's ordering as well) when they're in a more formal restaurant setting.
IDK, maybe the OP has a hang-up about sandwiches, lol!
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 07-27-2018 at 09:48 AM..
Restating the topic title almost seems to say, "we men become gutlesss soulless drones after we get married." Adding 'Do' and a question mark seems to obscure that the OP thinks it's a serious or likely possibility. The title seems to say, "say it isn't so.' IMO
Restating the topic title almost seems to say, "we men become gutlesss soulless drones after we get married." Adding 'Do' and a question mark seems to obscure that the OP thinks it's a serious or likely possibility. The title seems to say, "say it isn't so.' IMO
I haven't noticed any people behaving like this.
That's because it's CD, real life isn't this bizarre, from at least what I've seen.
I'm sure we can all agree that many topics posted at CD are intentionally provocative. It's interesting that some subset of all CD members seem to post provocative topics more often than the general membership.
That's because it's CD, real life isn't this bizarre, from at least what I've seen.
This place can play games on your mind, LOl. When I first joined and heard the craziness in here, I was flabbergasted, Lol. After being here for while and listening to peoples relatioship/dating complaints, it got me wondering. Take for example the topic of height. It had me looking at people in public and wondering if the height theory did exist. I started looking at couples in public and seeing if women did indeed coupled up with taller men, Lol. I noticed more couples with the man being shorter (or same height) than the woman then the opposite. Something I already knew. Just conformation that CD doesn't reflect reality most times.
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. Take for example the topic of height. It had me looking at people in public and wondering if the height theory did exist. I started looking at couples in public and seeing if women did indeed coupled up with taller men, Lol. I noticed more couples with the man being shorter (or same height) than the woman then the opposite. Something I already knew. Just conformation that CD doesn't reflect reality most times.