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I do understand that this a PG Forum, but I am beyond frustrated by the posts I read about men and porn use, whether it be casual and or extremely dedicated. I used to not have an issue with this until my husband became addicted for years (I didn't know) I left him because he would rather look at porn that have real sex with his real wife. This was quite a few years ago and we have resolved our issues etc. BUT this issue still chaps my ass. So my question is, do people make love anymore, just really passionate REAL love-or is it just cheap versions porn saturated sex in the sheets.
Somebody please tell me they are getting the real deal! (This is not a solicitation)
I do understand that this a PG Forum, but I am beyond frustrated by the posts I read about men and porn use, whether it be casual and or extremely dedicated. I used to not have an issue with this until my husband became addicted for years (I didn't know) I left him because he would rather look at porn that have real sex with his real wife. This was quite a few years ago and we have resolved our issues etc. BUT this issue still chaps my ass. So my question is, do people make love anymore, just really passionate REAL love-or is it just cheap versions porn saturated sex in the sheets.
Somebody please tell me they are getting the real deal! (This is not a solicitation)
I'm really sorry for what you've experienced. It sucks.
But honestly, IMHO a great sex life includes both kinds of sex, and other "kinds" as well. It's up to the couple. Couples can make love AND also **** each other ... depending on their mood.
The thing is that you've been traumatized by rejection, and that doesn't have so much to do with sex. It does affect your sex life, of course, but it's not the same thing. Making love and getting nasty are not mutually exclusive, in my book. But it's easy to understand why someone who has experienced what you've experienced would not view them equally.
Have you talked to a professional about your feelings? And ... wait ... are you still married to that husband ???
Last edited by BirdieBelle; 07-31-2018 at 10:00 PM..
My advice: Stay off the internet and don't indulge when you see titles that include "porn."
Just leave it alone. It's obviously a sore spot for you so don't go looking for things that are going to upset you. Everyone has different definitions of what making love is. It's up to the couple to define that for themselves. You and whoever you' may be with (if you're in a relationship) have do the same.
I'm really sorry for what you've experienced. It sucks.
But honestly, IMHO a great sex life includes both kinds of sex, and other "kinds" as well. It's up to the couple. Couples can make love AND also **** each other ... depending on their mood.
The thing is that you've been traumatized by rejection, and that doesn't have so much to do with sex. It does affect your sex life, of course, but it's not the same thing. Making love and getting nasty are not mutually exclusive, in my book. But it's easy to understand why someone who has experienced what you've experienced would not view them equally.
Have you talked to a professional about your feelings? And ... wait ... are you still married to him???
Yeah, as far as I know and what he tells me, he does not view it anymore. We are doing really good now, but those old wounds are still tender, ya know. It is just really frustrating to watch ready and available women do and be anything for their men only to be objectified or dismissed.
Yeah, as far as I know and what he tells me, he does not view it anymore. We are doing really good now, but those old wounds are still tender, ya know. It is just really frustrating to watch ready and available women do and be anything for their men only to be objectified or dismissed.
It’s amazing y’all have managed to survive that. It sounds like addiction. How long ago was it?
To be fair, not all men who look at porn are addicted to it, and most wouldn’t readily substitute their wife for it. Addiction is a whole other thing.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jilly9244
Yeah, as far as I know and what he tells me, he does not view it anymore. We are doing really good now, but those old wounds are still tender, ya know. It is just really frustrating to watch ready and available women do and be anything for their men only to be objectified or dismissed.
There is a wide range of porn out there. And plenty of people get off on very different things in porn, and in real life.
"Making love" can be a romantic extreme, and "porn-like" can be the other.
Neither is superior, and the whole range is probably healthier (or whatever the couple decides).
Addiction to anything can make it bad for those who have to live and interact with the addicted person. I can see where that would make anything associated with it "bad."
Having a spouse consider you a runner-up when it comes to sex is very unhealthy, and a problem by itself, no matter the reason.
But please don't confuse an "addiction" with "casual use."
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