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What part do you think is a joke? That's exactly my perception of the dating matrix.
Really??? You must be joking.
Take just one facet. White men responding to Asian women only??? The tons and tons of white men and white women I see versus the amount of white men with Asian women.
That was just one, there are a couple of other combos that look completely off to me.
I know one case where the problem was a difference in deeply held values.
The man was from France and he was shocked to discover that the American woman he was dating did not accept the fact that "it was expected, allowed, assumed, etc. etc." that ALL married, well educated, professional French men would have mistresses, even long time mistresses. And that they may support those mistresses and may even have children with them. And, that the legal wife was not to be upset or jealous or try to interfere in any way with his right to have sex with other women (and even support them and support any children that he may have with them).
In my friend's case this was a "deal breaker" and she refused to marry him. He never understood why she did not understand that having a long term mistress was perfectly acceptable, even expected, of a married man from his culture. And, she never understood how he could not understand that your husband having a long, term loving relationship with another woman was not acceptable to an American woman.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
The French women I know, living in the US, married to American men, don't believe men have a right to have women on the side. One was caught by surprise and unhappy to learn that her husband was having an affair. She divorced him. The one French man I know, married to an American, does not have affairs, nor does he have any interest in that.
I suspect that having affairs isn't as accepted in France as some French (and their film industry) would have us believe.
You could be right, this could be more of that man's particular background (his French mother was a mistress of her French lover -his father- for over 20 years). And, he never intended to live outside of France, so your examples of people who left France, may or may not be typical.
And, maybe he was just being honest. Although, it is hard to get good statistics during a recent google search the top article I found stated "30 to 60% of all married people in the US have cheated on their spouse".
Any way, his expectation of having a mistress, was a complete deal breaker for my friend.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
Really??? You must be joking.
Take just one facet. White men responding to Asian women only??? The tons and tons of white men and white women I see versus the amount of white men with Asian women.
That was just one, there are a couple of other combos that look completely off to me.
You've misread the graph, Chowhound.
That graph shows the highest response rate by race. So, when asked "are you interested", when the pic is an Asian woman, 17.6 percent of the time, white men say "yes". Maybe they say "yes" to white women 14 percent of the time, hispanic women 4 percent of the time, on average, etc.
It seems they usually are NOT interested in the picture, and move on. But when the pic is of an asian woman, 17.6 percent of the time, on average, a white male responder is interested.
I wonder whether these results for preference are a little skewed, due to this being a dating site. Maybe this should be a preference for what race people want to have sex with each other, not necessarily be in a long term relationship.
That graph shows the highest response rate by race. So, when asked "are you interested", when the pic is an Asian woman, 17.6 percent of the time, white men say "yes". Maybe they say "yes" to white women 14 percent of the time, hispanic women 4 percent of the time, on average, etc.
It seems they usually are NOT interested in the picture, and move on. But when the pic is of an asian woman, 17.6 percent of the time, on average, a white male responder is interested.
I wonder whether these results for preference are a little skewed, due to this being a dating site. Maybe this should be a preference for what race people want to have sex with each other, not necessarily be in a long term relationship.
Any "study" can be skewed in how things are presented and how questions are asked.
You take the average white guy and the average white women and the average Asian woman with a side by side comparison I assure you a majority of the white guys will go for the white woman more often than not. All things being equal. Not a slam again Asian women it's just most people tend to gravitate toward their own race. PC culture prevents us from saying this but overall it's true and it's not racist to say that out loud.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
Any "study" can be skewed in how things are presented and how questions are asked.
You take the average white guy and the average white women and the average Asian woman with a side by side comparison I assure you a majority of the white guys will go for the white woman more often than not. All things being equal. Not a slam again Asian women it's just most people tend to gravitate toward their own race. PC culture prevents us from saying this but overall it's true and it's not racist to say that out loud.
I don't buy the chart it's horsecrap at best.
It's completely skewed.
This study seems pretty clear. Here's a pic. Are you interested? Check yes or no.
Black women have complained for a long time that they are the last choice to be picked, all things being equal.
And in my experience, pretty, young, thin Asian women are in hot demand by white guys.
I know there's a thriving mail order bride thing for Asian women - it seems white men who in general don't do well on the dating scene prefer Asians. Maybe because they are perceived to be more submissive.
This study seems pretty clear. Here's a pic. Are you interested? Check yes or no.
Black women have complained for a long time that they are the last choice to be picked, all things being equal.
And in my experience, pretty, young, thin Asian women are in hot demand by white guys.
Yeah, smoking hot Asian chick versus boring soccer mom, yeah, on point.
All things being equal comment was the disclaimer portion.
Me, middle aged white dude, hanging around mostly white guys for 48 years and rarely ever seen or heard of white guys that are especially hot to trot for Asian chicks but who knows.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VanMarlton
And if so, how common is that sort of thing? I have had numerous experiences when women somehow cooled off when I would reveal to them that I am in fact a long time immigrant.
I only have a very slight accent so a lot of people dont realize it right away, but it seems if I reveal my background early on women seem to lose interest just like that. What's up with that?
We all discriminate (insert sarcasm here: that word doesn't imply any kind of bias from the OP, does it?) in our dating lives. Even the OP. My question to him is, would you date a drug addict? Prior felon? Someone 30 years old than you? What about someone that is morbidly obese? Don't act like you don't discriminate when choosing a partner.
It's my sincere hope we should all feel free to discriminate however we see fit without worrying about the "everyone should get a trophy" society we've become.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
Yeah, smoking hot Asian chick versus boring soccer mom, yeah, on point.
All things being equal comment was the disclaimer portion.
Me, middle aged white dude, hanging around mostly white guys for 48 years and rarely ever seen or heard of white guys that are especially hot to trot for Asian chicks but who knows.
Whatever, I'm done talking about it.
YMMV I guess.
You've probably aged out the study population.
These are men on dating sites, likely to be young.
I don't know if you have young adult sons, but it was largely believed among high school boys that the hottest girls in the school were the girls in orchestra. I could post you a pic of the high school orchestra, and you might see one or two faces that are not asian.
Pre-programmed or not, we all have preferences and this is probably one of them for some women. And men. You never know. People prefer or want all different things. It may not be based on a "league." It may just be based on what a person likes.
Agreed. However, in my case this almost seems odd because there is basically no way to tell from just interacting with me that I am a "foreigner". Unless, there is a specific discussion of my background. After which the interest wanes. It pretty much makes me not ever want to talk about it during first couple of dates at the very least.
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