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My wife has numerous problems (severe BPD and OCD plus a terminal disease which she is ignoring) and she is very abusive toward me. I may need to Separate, at least so I can get some emotional relief. I don't have a schedule, months?? (not days or years).
Because of her severe Depression (and absolute refusal to get help - I tried many times to do marriage counseling with her), she is a beast to live with. I don't want to hurt her and I will continue to support her (as legally required). But the marriage died emotionally years ago. Yes, I have done unilateral counseling for me.
There's the remote chance that she gets so messed up that she will Divorce me. Therefore, I have to legally protect myself and be discrete. There are NO third parties at this time.
Therefore, I'm not really available for heavy dating yet. However, I am human and I'd like to start a "mutual support" relationship with a new woman who may also have marital problems. It might become a full relationship some day but not right away. This is not a "quickie" hook up request. I am an attractive, intelligent Good Guy.
Thanks for any ideas.
What makes you think you are a good guy? Because you would rather stay married to 'a beast' than just divorce and start again?
If you were mentally ill, or suffering from any other inconvenient malady, would you see your wife as a good woman for contemplating the same plan?
You are looking for a woman who also doesn't want to divorce but wants to cheat.
The unilateral counseling suggested this side relationship for you?
I certainly hope I don't see you on an episode of Forensic Files one day. Emmotional based side relationships are not healthy.
I don't think I'll ever forget the guy who propositioned me with something like that. This was while waiting to be selected or not for jury duty. He said he would be able to help me financially with my kids. I was flabbergasted & told him I would think about it.
The next day I said we should draw up some sort of contract if we were going to do something like that. Now he's flabbergasted & said I made it sound so sterile & clinical (or words to that effect).
I told him, you're asking to use my body in exchange for monetary gains. Sounds like a contract is needed to me.
He took back his offer of helping me, darn, & we didn't speak again.
What woman in her right mind would go for what you suggest? One without any self respect would be my guess.
I don't think I'll ever forget the guy who propositioned me with something like that. This was while waiting to be selected or not for jury duty. He said he would be able to help me financially with my kids. I was flabbergasted & told him I would think about it.
The next day I said we should draw up some sort of contract if we were going to do something like that. Now he's flabbergasted & said I made it sound so sterile & clinical (or words to that effect).
I told him, you're asking to use my body in exchange for monetary gains. Sounds like a contract is needed to me.
He took back his offer of helping me, darn, & we didn't speak again.
What woman in her right mind would go for what you suggest? One without any self respect would be my guess.
I'd like to find a "Seeking Women" site, sort of like Craig's List used to be. (CL removed it because of abuse by "professionals" selling s*x services. CL didn't want the legal liability from new laws.)
Yes, I realize that CL had lots of bad stuff on their site.
More and more OLD dating sites (POF, Match, OKC, etc.) are making you jump through hoops to initiate contact with someone. You have to subscribe (using a credit card) or other method. Yes, I understand the need for abuse protection and security. Sure, big OLD sites need to make money.
Decades ago, we had paid Personals Ads. A little description and contact information. Not a bad system. You didn't get instantly rejected if your photo wasn't absolutely gorgeous. And the workload was manageable.
My wife has numerous problems (severe BPD and OCD plus a terminal disease which she is ignoring) and she is very abusive toward me. I may need to Separate, at least so I can get some emotional relief. I don't have a schedule, months?? (not days or years).
Because of her severe Depression (and absolute refusal to get help - I tried many times to do marriage counseling with her), she is a beast to live with. I don't want to hurt her and I will continue to support her (as legally required). But the marriage died emotionally years ago. Yes, I have done unilateral counseling for me.
There's the remote chance that she gets so messed up that she will Divorce me. Therefore, I have to legally protect myself and be discrete. There are NO third parties at this time.
Therefore, I'm not really available for heavy dating yet. However, I am human and I'd like to start a "mutual support" relationship with a new woman who may also have marital problems. It might become a full relationship some day but not right away. This is not a "quickie" hook up request. I am an attractive, intelligent Good Guy.
Yes, I know about AM and I may try that too. But some sort of easy "text me" dating site (reasonable cost if needed) would be nice.
Thanks for any ideas.
Find a support group for one of the health issues you or your wife have. Seriously. This is not the time to date.
Got hit up online by a no-photo guy yesterday. "I'll send you one and explain why it's not public. I am married but separated for 15 years, don't judge me until I explain"
Yeah, right, buddy.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC
I miss the Craigslist Personals, and wonder how often they actually worked.
All I saw, in the men seeking women, were a bunch of scenarios no woman I know would want.
Please cheat with me in the afternoons, at your place.
Please meet up for no strings attached one time sex.
Here's a pic of my package. Want it?
Posts with a few head shot selfies, that look pretty much the exact same but there are 4 of them taken in different outfits, in a bathroom that may not look very clean.
Did those ever work out?
So, in the early to mid 2000s CL personals were a very legit dating site. I dated several people from it, some long term (years).
Later on as other free OLD came about, those legit things went away.
As far as the NSA stuff working. Yes, it worked for plenty of people. I know both men and women that used it. The main woman I'm seeing now used it plenty, and she is far from the only person I know that did. Often it was to find a third, but not always.
My wife has numerous problems (severe BPD and OCD plus a terminal disease which she is ignoring) and she is very abusive toward me. I may need to Separate, at least so I can get some emotional relief. I don't have a schedule, months?? (not days or years).
Because of her severe Depression (and absolute refusal to get help - I tried many times to do marriage counseling with her), she is a beast to live with. I don't want to hurt her and I will continue to support her (as legally required). But the marriage died emotionally years ago. Yes, I have done unilateral counseling for me.
There's the remote chance that she gets so messed up that she will Divorce me. Therefore, I have to legally protect myself and be discrete. There are NO third parties at this time.
Therefore, I'm not really available for heavy dating yet. However, I am human and I'd like to start a "mutual support" relationship with a new woman who may also have marital problems. It might become a full relationship some day but not right away. This is not a "quickie" hook up request.
Hold everything Hoss....after reading your previous postings
Must ask what's your real current status ? ....... so are you married as you stated above or are you separated as you stated in another thread and you also said in your other thread that you are divorced so what's the real scoop with your marriage and your wife?....Whose really the beast here ?
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 9 days ago)
35,634 posts, read 17,975,706 times
Reputation: 50664
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
So, in the early to mid 2000s CL personals were a very legit dating site. I dated several people from it, some long term (years).
Later on as other free OLD came about, those legit things went away.
As far as the NSA stuff working. Yes, it worked for plenty of people. I know both men and women that used it. The main woman I'm seeing now used it plenty, and she is far from the only person I know that did. Often it was to find a third, but not always.
There's an old joke. One guy said we have to go to this great new bar. On the bottom of the barstools is a number, and if they call your number, you get to go upstairs for free sex!! The other guy said wow, have you ever won? The first guy said no, but my wife won twice last week. ;D
So. Yes. Women offering NSA sex are very very likely to successfully find it.
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