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I let my heart and my mind duke it out and see what is left standing.
I'm only partially kidding.
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My mind works as a regulator for my heart. When problems come up, I don't allow my heart to take over. But, if my mind doesn't stop me, I follow my heart.
The heart is easily deceived - Nay, it WANTS to be deceived.
My mind has never failed me, because if it did - I'd be crazy or senile.
I honestly believe that if you "think someone is your soulmate, the one who got away" ~ you're just imagining a future life of romantic fantasy. Everybody, once you get close enough to them - you find out where their weirdness and quirks and irrationalities lie. Yes they fart, yes they have acne, maybe they even have a DUI and jail time in their past, cheated on their previous partner or their taxes.
You just dont have enough INFORMATION of who they really are, so your mind smooths over the pieces you don't know, and fills in the blanks with ideas of what you think they really are. I myself had a great girlfriend, total dork, funny, darling to look at - imagined I could marry her, then I found out she had a very narrow and shallow sexual menu, wouldn't watch porn, had a list of things long as a roll of toilet paper she did not and would not never do in the sack. Looked like an anime cartoon/Cosplay character, but didn't even want to have sex. How could she be my future wife now?!?
Limerence: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
the cure for Limerence, is consummation (where you get reciprocation and conflicting information), starvation (where you no longer think of them), or transference (where you move on to a new object)
I honestly believe that if you "think someone is your soulmate, the one who got away" ~ you're just imagining a future life of romantic fantasy. Everybody, once you get close enough to them - you find out where their weirdness and quirks and irrationalities lie. Yes they fart, yes they have acne, maybe they even have a DUI and jail time in their past, cheated on their previous partner or their taxes.
This isn’t about pretending all the red flags don’t exist or that the person is perfect. Rather, it’s about knowing when to trust your feelings and when to recognize that your feelings are actually interfering with good judgment. You’re always going to find things you don’t like about a person. Some of it isn’t a big deal. But a lot of times, it is. But your heart will tell you to ignore it. It’ll tell you that love conquers all and that you’ll be able to accept the person and deal with those red flags. But your mind is supposed to protect you. That’s what happened with my ex. I loved her and still wonder if I should’ve stayed with her. But my brain tells me why that would’ve been a mistake.
The heart can be very selfish-and their is nothing rational about emotions. It is best to use your head, but I am a sucker for romance. You have to get to a place where your heart and head agree. I believe that is intuition.
Love is not unconditional. Go with the mind. The heart wants to do what it does — love. Your brain should be the one that does the thinking.
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