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Old 08-12-2018, 04:06 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,188 posts, read 107,790,902 times
Reputation: 116082

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CatzPaw View Post
She is not a "red flag." She is a person.

As you are weirded out and worrying that there is potentially something wrong with her – do her and her son a huge favor and pass on by.

Find yourself a young woman who has no children. Surely she will come with a manufacturer's guarantee that she is free and clear of any of the red flags, defects, and issues you fear – simply because she is not a "single mother."
She must be hot. Otherwise, why would he be inquiring about her ref-flag-ness, trying to figure out if she's worth hanging onto as a gf, or to?

 
Old 08-12-2018, 04:08 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,188 posts, read 107,790,902 times
Reputation: 116082
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312 View Post
I believe that men should try not to interact with single moms. If a man must interact with a single mom, casual sex only. Do not commit to any long term relationship with her.

If she is a single mom as a result of a partner dying, a guy can give her a little more leeway, but it's still far from an ideal situation because a guy is still competing with her kid(s) for time and attention.
Great advice. That'll work.

So, where do you weigh in on the question of whether the baby-daddy is date-worthy, or if he should be held at arm's length, or dismissed altogether?
 
Old 08-12-2018, 04:09 PM
 
9,511 posts, read 5,434,021 times
Reputation: 9092
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Except it isn't true. I dated, and know other, single mothers where there are no single fathers.
My daughter is one of those. The father ran back to Columbia, it seems he was only here to go to school at UW and never planned to stay. He evidently comes from a family that is well off. He has no contact with his son, my daughter has reached out but there was never any reply.

Some men (for whatever reason) will tuck their tails and run and in some cases just walk away. When these 2 were briefly together they put one another through a lot of grief. He certainly was not mature enough to deal with it and she was not ready herself.

A big part is wanting to be involved, kids take EFFORT and WORK and if someone just wants to play then it isn't going to work.

You don't even go there unless you know it's what you want.
 
Old 08-12-2018, 04:11 PM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
11,083 posts, read 17,527,537 times
Reputation: 44404
With the way you're looking at it, I think you'd be doing her, and her child, a great big favor by breaking up with her. They need someone who doesn't look down on somebody with a child, but accept them. She's too good for you.
 
Old 08-12-2018, 04:14 PM
 
9,511 posts, read 5,434,021 times
Reputation: 9092
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
K, so what about single dads?

Any advice for childless women?
Yeah, don't do it. Same rules apply.
 
Old 08-12-2018, 04:17 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,739 posts, read 34,357,220 times
Reputation: 77034
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
K, so what about single dads?

Any advice for childless women?
Single dads are looked at as heroes. "he does laundry? For his own children? Amazing! What a catch!"
 
Old 08-12-2018, 04:37 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scrat335 View Post
My daughter is one of those. The father ran back to Columbia, it seems he was only here to go to school at UW and never planned to stay. He evidently comes from a family that is well off. He has no contact with his son, my daughter has reached out but there was never any reply.

Some men (for whatever reason) will tuck their tails and run and in some cases just walk away. When these 2 were briefly together they put one another through a lot of grief. He certainly was not mature enough to deal with it and she was not ready herself.

A big part is wanting to be involved, kids take EFFORT and WORK and if someone just wants to play then it isn't going to work.

You don't even go there unless you know it's what you want.

I meant women that use a sperm donor. I dated one, one of my cousins did it, and know several others. There are no fathers anywhere. Well, at least one got married, but she was a single mom for 7 or so years.
 
Old 08-12-2018, 04:52 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,188 posts, read 107,790,902 times
Reputation: 116082
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scrat335 View Post
My daughter is one of those. The father ran back to Columbia, it seems he was only here to go to school at UW and never planned to stay. He evidently comes from a family that is well off. He has no contact with his son, my daughter has reached out but there was never any reply.

Some men (for whatever reason) will tuck their tails and run and in some cases just walk away. When these 2 were briefly together they put one another through a lot of grief. He certainly was not mature enough to deal with it and she was not ready herself.
This is exactly the kind of "dad" I had in mind, when I asked the OP their opinion on "single dads", i.e. fathers to children they're not involved with. IDK for sure, but I think that may be what DontH8Me meant, too. Why so quick to judge the moms, while the dads can skate? What about deadbeat dads? There's a ref flag, if I ever saw one!

*crickets* from the OP, so far.
 
Old 08-12-2018, 04:55 PM
 
12 posts, read 9,682 times
Reputation: 20
Here's an interesting question that I'd like to throw into the mix. A couple of people have mentioned single dads, and why no one criticizes them and why it's only single mothers that get bashed (not by me, I might add).


Exactly. So why is that? Why doesn't anybody criticize single dads? How come if anything they're an afterthought? Is there any particular reason why men who are single parents are sometimes mentioned only in an implicitly negative way, in passing, as has been mentioned already (druggies, criminals, etc), but without being emphatic? It's almost as though the people mentioning them are doing so in a "I could go on about this but I won't" kind of way. Why so coy?
 
Old 08-12-2018, 04:57 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,188 posts, read 107,790,902 times
Reputation: 116082
So-o-o, were you going to tell us how old you and your single-mom date interest are? Before changing the topic?

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