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From OLD who are over 40 yo and have never been in a relationship that lasted longer than, say, 5 years. Like why haven't you been? Are you not into LTR's or do you struggle with making a relationship work or have you not had anyone interested in having a LTR with you? It generally gives me pause. What do you think?
I apologize if this topic/question has been addressed before on here.
This sounds like looking for reasons to dismiss people. Someone was in a LTR for a few years, and since then, hasn't met another good fit. Or took a couple of years to recover from the breakup, and since then has been working while caring for an aging parent much of the time. Or ran up against some chronic health issues, that derailed their social life for a few years.
It's not a job application, where employers scrutinize any unemployed period beyond a few months. It's life. Why count it against them, if they have't been in serial relationships most of their adult life?
It doesn't apply to me, but I certainly have friends who are way past 40 and never had a marriage or a LTR. They might be overweight or unattractive or shy or in some other way not considered good enough to date by anyone. Or perhaps after waiting forever, they did meet someone and had a relationship for a while but it didn't work out.
Not everybody got invited to the prom, and sometimes, high school never ends.
From OLD who are over 40 yo and have never been in a relationship for longer than, say, 5 years. Like why haven't you been? Are you not into LTR's or do you struggle with making a relationship work or have you not had anyone interested in having a LTR with you? It generally gives me pause. What do you think?
I apologize if this topic/question has been addressed before on here.
Not everyone is driven to get into relationships to the same degree. There are plenty of people who lead contented single lives. There can be all sorts of reasons they never had a LTR. Off the top of my head I can bring to mind several people who've been single all the years I've known them. They are not searching, not unhappy, don't appear damaged, just going along doing their thing. There is absolutely no reason they shouldn't. FWIW, one of my uncles, a friendly, attractive, upstanding, all around nice guy was a bachelor until he was almost 60. He traveled a lot, loved the outdoors, had long term buddies he did this with, and liked his independence. Now he's married. He simply found the right one at the right time.
It doesn't apply to me, but I certainly have friends who are way past 40 and never had a marriage or a LTR. They might be overweight or unattractive or shy or in some other way not considered good enough to date by anyone. Or perhaps after waiting forever, they did meet someone and had a relationship for a while but it didn't work out.
Not everybody got invited to the prom, and sometimes, high school never ends.
Right, there's this, too. It would be cruel to require those people to explain why they hadn't had any LTR, or maybe just one. IDK, there's gotta be a better way to screen people, than putting them on the spot, and watching them squirm...
I guess if I don't get lucky soon, I will have crossed your threshold in a few years.
Not sure what to tell you. For right or wrong reasons, some people focus on other things and try to get conditions right for LTR before attempt. For some it's career, others homeownership, still others it's caring for family. In my case it was all 3.
I guess if I don't get lucky soon, I will have crossed your threshold in a few years.
I meant that none of their relationships have lasted longer than 5 years.
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