Does my gf consider me to be a 'trophy boyfriend', and is that bad? (woman, sex)
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I guess I am just kind of turned off at the fact that she wants me to meet and socialize with all these people. I am not much of a socializer/people person I guess. I don't think she is bossy, I just think maybe she gets too over excited about these things, but then if I turn her down, she gets bummed out it seems. She doesn't actually say this, but I think she is embarrassed if I don't come, maybe.
I understand what you are saying, and your frustration of her wanting you to go to all these events. And meeting all these people when you probably would rather be somewhere else. She is not your wife, and don't sound like you are fully committed just yet. Yes, you do have a life as well and its not all about her, you guys are not joined at the hips. You are just going to have to break it down to her, that going to all these social events is just not you. Let her know that some events are ok, but that you just can't go to every single thing she wants to go to. Tell her you want to hang with your friends or family, or just some time alone to yourself to relax and think about things. I personally wouldn't want anybody, even my wife to want to go to every single event that I want to go to, that's not fair to anyone. That can be pure torture, being at a place for hours when you really really don't want to be there. You will grow tired of faking your emotions, and eventually people be able to see that you are not enjoying yourself.
I feel like my gf invites me to way too many events she wants me to go to, like dinners with parents and family, and relatives, and things like that, as well as work events.
We first start seeing each other in March/April around, but I feel that maybe she considers me to be a boyfriend to show off sometimes, cause if I don't want to, she will say things like everyone wants to meet me, family and a couple of co-workers so far. Why? Is going out since April long enough for the everyone wants to meet me stage?
She wants me to go to Christmas dinner for her work and told me to book off a couple of days, cause apparently Christmas dinner for work, is a three or more hour drive away in another city, and I have to stay overnight in a hotel.
Now maybe if she were to have asked me, I would have responded more positively, but she sends me a text saying book it off cause we are staying over night, at a hotel, and everything is paid for, without even asking, like as if she expected to me say yes, and get right on it, especially when I have a new job, and not much days off yet.
So I dunno, do you think that maybe she likes showing me off, or am I just making too big a deal out of this perhaps?
Just say "no". You don't need to explain or justify. You've only been together since spring, so about 6 months, and she's already taking you for granted, instead of asking you. An overnight Xmas party for work is a bit much. She doesn't even know if you two will still be together by Xmas. She's assuming a lot.
IDK, it seems unusual that she's so chummy with her co-workers. Most people have a life outside of work, and are happy to leave their work lives behind them after work hours, and especially on weekends and holidays. Maybe she's lucky, and has a good group of co-workers, but even so, expecting you to stay in a hotel for an event with people you don't know, after just a few months of a relationship seems a bit much.
Whether or not that means she sees you as a "trophy" can't be determined. You live with your parents and do jobs you hate, manual labor as I recall? That doesn't usually spell T-R-O-P-H-Y.
Just say "no". You don't need to explain or justify. You've only been together since spring, so about 6 months, and she's already taking you for granted, instead of asking you. An overnight Xmas party for work is a bit much. She doesn't even know if you two will still be together by Xmas. She's assuming a lot.
IDK, it seems unusual that she's so chummy with her co-workers. Most people have a life outside of work, and are happy to leave their work lives behind them after work hours, and especially on weekends and holidays. Maybe she's lucky, and has a good group of co-workers, but even so, expecting you to stay in a hotel for en went with people you don't know, after just a few months of a relationship seems a bit much.
Whether or not that means she sees you as a "trophy" can't be determined. You live with your parents and do jobs you hate, manual labor as I recall? That doesn't usually spell T-R-O-P-H-Y.
True. I can't relate to her or her job, cause my I hate my job and always want to get away from it.
Well in order for to me to understand, why does she want me at these events in the first place so much? Why would she be embarrassed if I don't come?
The family things should be easy to understand why she would want you there. Typically if you are in a relationship with someone, you want them to be around your family sometimes.
As for the work event, it's like a little vacation. She wants to take you along, and most of these events are occasions where people bring a significant other. She doesn't want to be sitting alone at a table full of couples.
Most people see events like this as an opportunity to meet new people and have fun. Not everything has to be a chore. But if you know you're gonna have a problem and sit there awkwardly, making everything miserable, then you may need to talk it out with her.
Maybe she thinks you'd be lonely and offended it she didn't invite you. If I had a boyfriend and he said "Well, I'm off to the company Christmas party, bye," I'd wonder why on earth he didn't invite me. even if I were to say no I'd expect him to think of us as potentially going together.
She may also think since you require ultimate dominance in the bedroom, you want her to take charge in general.
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