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Who are you arguing with, and about what?
Women were talking about how women interpret things.
Coconutz doesn't need a constant cheerleader, Coconutz can probably pick up a cashier. Some guys can't, and should quit trying, they need a specific arena, where women are looking to meet a guy. Like OLD, speed dating, even a woman in a bar is prepared to be looked upon as interested in meeting men.
Yeah, that's why I've pretty much given up on talking to women out and about. That's why Meetup is the best thing since sliced bread, however, a couple of people here said there's something off putting about a forced collective/scheduled event for a social gathering. That the kind of people that have to resort to an organized social club are socially inept as opposed to actually do it in a natural environment, like in a grocery store
I've been a cashier, and I was very good at it. Quite friendly!
How can you actually know someone from that 1-2 minute interaction? If you're hitting on me, you obviously only like the looks of me and that I'm friendly at work. Outside of work I could be an completely different person.
And I don't have time in that 1-2 minutes to deal with being hit on. There are other customers to take care of, or other projects I'm supposed to complete during my shift. Please leave me be....
I've been a cashier, and I was very good at it. Quite friendly!
How can you actually know someone from that 1-2 minute interaction? If you're hitting on me, you obviously only like the looks of me and that I'm friendly at work. Outside of work I could be an completely different person.
And I don't have time in that 1-2 minutes to deal with being hit on. There are other customers to take care of, or other projects I'm supposed to complete during my shift. Please leave me be....
As retailer worker I concur.
To the OP I would say, give her your card or write your number and name on paper -give it to her and leave as that, if she liked you she will get in touch if not you will never hear from again.
I've been a cashier, and I was very good at it. Quite friendly!
How can you actually know someone from that 1-2 minute interaction? If you're hitting on me, you obviously only like the looks of me and that I'm friendly at work. Outside of work I could be an completely different person.
And I don't have time in that 1-2 minutes to deal with being hit on. There are other customers to take care of, or other projects I'm supposed to complete during my shift. Please leave me be....
Right, better just to approach a woman when she's in an environment where she isn't working. As a customer at a grocery store, book store, at the beach, a bar, etc.
We have discussed social lying in CD-Psychology before. I can easily understand how women feel in this situation. They've been getting hit on as long as they've been a sales clerk, cashier, teller, whatever. They start saying "no" but that doesn't work, so they season "no" with enough embellishments until "no+" starts working.
I don't blame them one bit. I get it, and I just don't hit on women in those jobs. I understand their pain. It must be like the (probably mythical) Chinese water torture.
No, a woman who works retail has not been getting hit on as long as she's been a cashier or whatever...she's likely been getting hit on since before she even got all the way through puberty. For me it started around 11, grown men hitting on me. And it has never really stopped, though thankfully it's slowed. I'd say it peaked before I was even 18.
I've worked retail, when I was younger. I consider myself to be decent looking (no model, but not ugly either) for nearing 40 now, but I'm prepared to say that when I was younger, my retail work timeframe, I was pretty hot. I did not take offense to a man being friendly, making ONE attempt to connect and exchange contact info, if he was polite, and not pushy, if he waited until I'd helped any other customers and wasn't interrupting the flow of my work. But if/when I said no, which I did as I was in a committed relationship, he needed to a.) Not get upset about it, and b.) Back off without argument. THAT is where too many guys mess up. Not being able to take a "no" with good grace, no matter if a reason was given or not. There was a mini-debate on whether we should feel we've got to lie, or give an excuse, or anything. What sucks is that there are plenty of guys who, even if we do, will try and argue with us over it.
There was a young man from the college across the street who would come into the gas station where I worked, when I was about 20 or so, and I told him laughingly that I had a husband and children and thanks but no, and the things he'd say...
- He doesn't need to know.
- What he doesn't know won't hurt him.
- I will never stop until you say yes.
- I am in love with you.
Etc. Some frat kid. I was friendly at first, but I got more and more blunt with my refusals, yet still he persisted. It got bad enough we ended up having him banned from the store after I let my manager know that if he showed his face, I'd be in the back room and I wasn't coming out.
Thing is I think your odds of landing a date from this pool are...not great. In addition to the fact that they may or may not take your approach well, might feel annoyed with you, might not find you appealing, they could be gay, they could be taken, there could be 100 reasons they would say NO, and a very slim chance they'd say YES. You'd have to really make a numbers game of it, hitting on women everywhere all day. And believe me, if they work near one another (same store, or same mall) they talk to each other, and you WILL get a reputation as a creeper. As soon as two women compare notes and you hit on both of them, you immediately get labeled a creepy, thirsty guy with an agenda.
So it's just...not a good look. There are better venues and ways to try and get a date. But if you must, well, there is no harm in one friendly attempt...so long as you can take a no without making a fool of yourself.
I've worked retail, when I was younger. I consider myself to be decent looking (no model, but not ugly either) for nearing 40 now, but I'm prepared to say that when I was younger, my retail work timeframe, I was pretty hot. I did not take offense to a man being friendly, making ONE attempt to connect and exchange contact info, if he was polite, and not pushy, if he waited until I'd helped any other customers and wasn't interrupting the flow of my work. But if/when I said no, which I did as I was in a committed relationship, he needed to a.) Not get upset about it, and b.) Back off without argument. THAT is where too many guys mess up. Not being able to take a "no" with good grace, no matter if a reason was given or not. There was a mini-debate on whether we should feel we've got to lie, or give an excuse, or anything. What sucks is that there are plenty of guys who, even if we do, will try and argue with us over it.
Bingo.
Unless a girl is an absolute stunner I don't think getting hit on constantly at work is the problem some people are making it out to be. In my experience in many years in retail guys getting handsy is a lot more common than guys trying to get a date with cashiers.
Meeting a cute girl (or guy) at a store and wanting to make a connection is no different than meeting them at the library or park. Chat them up and let the response guide you, just as you would in any other situation. Sure they can't be rude to you at work, but if you can't tell the difference between someone returning your interest and someone simply being polite, you have more to worry about than where you meet potential dates.
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, even a woman in a bar is prepared to be looked upon as interested in meeting men.
