need advice on asking cashiers out (girls, family, Latin, friend)
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i recently saw a cute girl cashier at sears and i asked where the tool section was and i asked for her name and i gave her my name back and then i asked if you want to hang out and she said she was busy with work and i understood went home.
but now im thinking about going back in two weeks to ask for her number im going to buy something first so it's not creepy but i need advice first, should i go back and ask for her number or is her saying that she's busy with work means that she's not interested in me? because she probably thought it means that she can hang out right now. i dont know im very new at this.
Man.
Okay, first thing's first. When you encounter someone like this, the chemistry better be off the charts before you ask her out. As in static electricity crackling between the two of you. Because it's her job to be nice and polite, it's really hard to decide if there's anything there or just your fevered imagination.
The better way to approach this in the future? Chit chat with her. That's it. If she tells you a little bit about herself, then she's open to more conversation. But that could still mean she's being friendly.
In other words, establish trust over time. Without trust there is no relationship.
Now, if you'd like to salvage matters with this particular woman, here's a Hail Mary for you. Next time you go in, apologize for coming on so strong. Say you found her interesting (True), and so you thought you'd take a shot. Admit to feeling like a doofus afterwards (Also true).
I'm not saying that's a sure thing. Not even close. But at least being direct about admitting to how awkward you were the first time around is at least honest and open. She might respect you for it. But do anything besides loitering in the aisles, pretending to be fascinated by a wrench until she's available to ring you up.
Actually in this situation if she tells her boss a customer is too persistent and isnt leaving her alone, I highly doubt corporate would have a problem if they banned the guy from the store. Their employees have to feel safe at work after all.
Yeah, and now you have an entitled, socially inept ANGRY guy who may need somewhere to work out his feelings of impotence. Perhaps he'll be waiting for her in the parking lot.
No, this is not on the woman or the manager to convince a guy that no means no. It's on the guy.
Cold approaches ARE really hard. But of course that's always where you see the most attractive people.
It is best when you can pick up on a high level of mutual chemistry (and that they are single). If not, yeah, it's going to be hard to do and you might strike out a lot. Just plan on it.
If you're that interested, then suggestion would be, have either some business cards with your number on it. Or at least a few pieces of paper, you can print your name and number on. Just say, hey, I would like to get to know you better, if you're interested, heres' my number, if not, have a nice day.
The ball is in her court, she calls you later, ok, if not, then fuh-getta bout it.
i recently saw a cute girl cashier at sears and i asked where the tool section was and i asked for her name and i gave her my name back and then i asked if you want to hang out and she said she was busy with work and i understood went home.
but now im thinking about going back in two weeks to ask for her number im going to buy something first so it's not creepy but i need advice first, should i go back and ask for her number or is her saying that she's busy with work means that she's not interested in me? because she probably thought it means that she can hang out right now. i dont know im very new at this.
Think about your scenario a moment. You asked if she'd like to hang out sometime. Of course she knew you weren't inviting her to walk off the job; she understood you meant sometime, when she's off work. But she responded that she's busy with work. Which was obvious, right? It was plain as day that she was on the clock.
Therefore, it means she was brushing you off politely. If you go back and persist, you'll put her in the position of making up an excuse, like, "I have a boyfriend" (always a classic), or "We're not allowed to date customers".
OP, there are cute girls everywhere. Move on, and find one, who isn't a sitting duck, required by her job description to be pleasant and serve you. Expand your social life, if not through friends, then through community activities you can get involved in, that include women.
If you're that interested, then suggestion would be, have either some business cards with your number on it. Or at least a few pieces of paper, you can print your name and number on. Just say, hey, I would like to get to know you better, if you're interested, heres' my number, if not, have a nice day.
The ball is in her court, she calls you later, ok, if not, then fuh-getta bout it.
I was going to say that at first. Leave her a note with your number or a card. That way she has the power to use it or not and has no pressure.
Cold approaches ARE really hard. But of course that's always where you see the most attractive people.
It is best when you can pick up on a high level of mutual chemistry (and that they are single). If not, yeah, it's going to be hard to do and you might strike out a lot. Just plan on it.
I had a few instances where it worked in my dating life. But it was always serendipity at work when it did. As in shooting the breeze with a total stranger. Finding common interests, continuing the conversation, then inviting her for something innocuous and non-threatening.
That happened to me once when I was at a bookstore. A cute girl was looking over a book while I walking past. I simply said, "That's a great book," and moved a few feet down the aisle in search of something else. She asked me a couple of questions about it, I answered and then started talking about a couple of other authors I liked. She and I started comparing favorite authors, books, movies, and whatever else for a good half hour. Completely kept it on the up-and-up. Kept my gaze on her face, not staring at her decollete.
So when the conversation began to drag a bit, I said, "Hey, I know this is weird..." and asked if she wanted to grab a cup of something next door. She said sure, and we wound up dating for three months until she moved out of town. So you never know. But you have to be really careful about how you do things, making sure you know at all times how vulnerable and wary a woman might feel in that situation. And, typically, for good reason.
But pawing at some woman you just met like a lovesick fool is not the way it's done.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 10-05-2018 at 11:37 AM..
Yeah, and now you have an entitled, socially inept ANGRY guy who may need somewhere to work out his feelings of impotence. Perhaps he'll be waiting for her in the parking lot.
No, this is not on the woman or the manager to convince a guy that no means no. It's on the guy.
Doesnt matter, if it gets to the point where he is harassing her, its too late. is she just supposed to sit there and take it?
You're going off track here. It was about asking a cashier out. Dating an employee of the store. There is no policy on this. Stay on topic.
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