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Gonna summarize this as simple as possible me and my husband have been together 6 years. We have 2 kids and 1 on the way. Im constantly sick nausea, puking, cramps ect. He's been supportive and gives me breaks when i need them. He own his own used car dealer company and when he calls to check on me throughout the day if it sounds like i can't handle the kids or if im to sick he'll stop what he's doing to cater to me. The issue im having is he constantly suggests we give up our place, me and the kids move in with family so i can have help and let him go run the business for a while so we can be financially set. We are both 24, our kids are young but it hurts me so bad to know he feels he needs to be away from us to become successful. I believe in him i know he's gonna be a rich successful man in life but i feel our marriage will suffer if i allow his plan to go into effect. What are your thoughts? Should i let him go? Do we makd it work we've barely talked for 5 days because ive been so emotional i feel one day he's just gonna walk out because its hard running a business full time and raising a family.
You have to let a man do what he has to do to take care of his family. He's not going to be there to cater to your every whim anymore like before he acquired all the responsibilities that come with having a family. If you need care for yourself, then yes you should probably move in with his family to have someone present. I commend him to even care enough to think about your well-being to seek assistance.
So you believe he should give up his dream of his own business to sit by you while youre pregnant?
What happens after that when the baby comes?
No matter what job he does, he cant leave work to take care of you all the time. At work he has responsibilities and expectations. If youre not working, all you have to do is get over the nausea and have the baby. You cant handle that?
You have to realize its not all about you. Also if you snapped at him while he was trying to take care of you, that would make him want to have family take care of you instead.
So you believe he should give up his dream of his own business to sit by you while youre pregnant?
What happens after that when the baby comes?
No matter what job he does, he cant leave work to take care of you all the time. At work he has responsibilities and expectations. If youre not working, all you have to do is get over the nausea and have the baby. You cant handle that?
You have to realize its not all about you. Also if you snapped at him while he was trying to take care of you, that would make him want to have family take care of you instead.
Not sure what you're reading but i dont EXPECT him to give up his dream his to cater to me im grateful thats not my issue ive always worked i am due in 4 weeks and plan on going back to work in December or january my issue is why give up our place and me and the kids move in with family? That's the only issue i have he has no intentions on moving in with family he only wants us to AGAIN i feel we are holding him back he wont say if we are he just keeps saying me and kids should live elsewhere while he goes off and makes a lot of money seems to me he's tired of me or us and is trying to get rid of us
Not sure if I understand correctly. I interpreted it like this:
You are due in 4 weeks and you are not feeling well. Instead of going to the doctor or have someone around you who has time (family?) you are complaining to your husband during the day while he tries to run a business.
He cannot focus at work because he is always answering your calls and worrying something bad happens with you (and the baby).Therefore, he suggests you move in with family who takes care of you while he tries to make a living for ALL OF YOU.
He sounds like a great guy. Not sure what your problem is?
And I'd rater move in with family temporarily than going back to work immediately after giving birth and having your baby taken care of by strangers.
I think posters are overlooking the fact that OP's husband wants to live separately from OP and their children. It's not that she wants him to give up his dreams, be constantly by her side, and cater to her whims. She just wants them to live together as a family.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loveyonnie
Not sure what you're reading but i dont EXPECT him to give up his dream his to cater to me im grateful thats not my issue ive always worked i am due in 4 weeks and plan on going back to work in December or january my issue is why give up our place and me and the kids move in with family? That's the only issue i have he has no intentions on moving in with family he only wants us to AGAIN i feel we are holding him back he wont say if we are he just keeps saying me and kids should live elsewhere while he goes off and makes a lot of money seems to me he's tired of me or us and is trying to get rid of us
Where does he plan on living while you and the kids live with your family?
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
He sounds like a great guy. Not sure what your problem is?
On the surface it sounds like he wants her and the kids to move in with her family so he doesn't have to be responsible for them at all. He can go off and do his own thing with no worries. There's more to being a husband and father than just providing money.
It actually sounds really crappy of him to suggest separating (because that's what he's suggesting) while she's just 4 weeks from giving birth to their 3rd child, she's having a tough pregnancy, and her hormones are crazy out of whack. I'd say he sounds more selfish than great.
Yeah, we need more info. Whose family does he want you to move in with? Where is he going to stay while you move in with family? Ask him if you stopped complaining, would he still want you to move and see what he says.
Gonna summarize this as simple as possible me and my husband have been together 6 years. We have 2 kids and 1 on the way. Im constantly sick nausea, puking, cramps ect. He's been supportive and gives me breaks when i need them. He own his own used car dealer company and when he calls to check on me throughout the day if it sounds like i can't handle the kids or if im to sick he'll stop what he's doing to cater to me. The issue im having is he constantly suggests we give up our place, me and the kids move in with family so i can have help and let him go run the business for a while so we can be financially set. We are both 24, our kids are young but it hurts me so bad to know he feels he needs to be away from us to become successful. I believe in him i know he's gonna be a rich successful man in life but i feel our marriage will suffer if i allow his plan to go into effect. What are your thoughts? Should i let him go? Do we makd it work we've barely talked for 5 days because ive been so emotional i feel one day he's just gonna walk out because its hard running a business full time and raising a family.
I have no doubt that it's hard running a business and raising a family. Yet people do it all the time.
He needs to figure out how to run his business and be a husband & father. Even if it means it takes longer to get his business up and running and profitable. Y'all chose to have three children, and now that's his responsibility. It's not your family's responsibility to raise his kids. It's his and yours.
I think posters are overlooking the fact that OP's husband wants to live separately from OP and their children. It's not that she wants him to give up his dreams, be constantly by her side, and cater to her whims. She just wants them to live together as a family.
Where does he plan on living while you and the kids live with your family?
On the surface it sounds like he wants her and the kids to move in with her family so he doesn't have to be responsible for them at all. He can go off and do his own thing with no worries. There's more to being a husband and father than just providing money.
It actually sounds really crappy of him to suggest separating (because that's what he's suggesting) while she's just 4 weeks from giving birth to their 3rd child, she's having a tough pregnancy, and her hormones are crazy out of whack. I'd say he sounds more selfish than great.
Thank God someone understands how i feel, i dont understand why he wants us to move elsewhere, i feel like he wants to neglect us and only provide financially and leave me to raise our kids thats the issue i have, he plans on visiting on occassions but mostly sleeping at his office and traveling to different cities and states buying vehicles from multiple auctions i just feel he should be able to do that without us seperating and being a burden on someone elses home
Yeah, we need more info. Whose family does he want you to move in with? Where is he going to stay while you move in with family? Ask him if you stopped complaining, would he still want you to move and see what he says.
He wants us to live anywhere except with him or his family, i spoke to his mom and she said if that's what we decided then its ok to move in with her but he's adamant on us living with MY family. He's going to visit us on occassions but mostly sleep in hotels from time to time and at his office
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