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It's funny that everybody wants a good sense of humor. I've had mine since 3rd-4th grade, enough that the teachers got mad at me for cutting up in class. I bet school is still the same these days. And I'm convinced that my sense of humor is my strongest attractive factor with women.
It's either that, or I don't know why some women are attracted to me. But I'm cool with that. All I care is attracted, it's above my pay scale to wonder why.
I tried multiple online dating sites and apps from casual to serious but the men everywhere that even claim to look for a relationship are either too picky, expect to fall in love right away or overdo the sarcasm. You'd think the ones looking for a relationship would be more mature and down to earth but actually they turn out to be even worse than the casual dating type as they only care to be with their perfect mate that they have in their mind or nothing and it’s on to the next one. Also many guys that judge you not only by looks but also on your educational level, job. Basically check your status right away (first or second question) as you would expect more from a woman(traditionally). I find it all very unappealing and irritating. Has anyone else had experience and noticed that trend? Btw I'm 27 f if that matters.
Yes, I have noticed a very similar trend, from the opposite side of the fence, and perhaps, far worse.
In fact, I quit online dating recently because I realized that it was a royal waste of my time. Every time I thought I had found a "nice" young woman that had A LOT in common with me and that seemed to be looking for someone that is just like me, it turned out that I was wrong. I didn't even get a reply back to my messages. And I like writing, so you can be sure that my messages were well-crafted and thoughtful (showing that the guy can have an interesting conversation). But, alas, that didn't make any difference. And I am not even bad looking (I would rate myself 6/10 in looks at worst, and 7.5 at best). I don't even want to imagine what fat or very ugly guys go through in dating sites. I'm guessing I was just ignored but they would get blocked asap.
I came to the conclusion that the level of pickiness in online dating sites is supreme. And it's mostly based on how handsome, popular, and "badass" the guy looks in his pictures. If it was truly based on good character and on what the profile says I would have gotten tons of messages and replies. I wouldn't have been able to keep up with the messages, since, I was "the honest and decent guy" that most of them said they wanted.
Apparently, most of the women in their 20's (even the ones that are not that great in ANY category) were expecting a prince on the other side. However, there are no princes and the top handsome ones are most likely players that already have 5 other women running after them. Super handsome men that are on parties every weekend do not need dating sites. And most likely, they are not the ones looking for serious love with just one woman. That's just human psychology 101.
Anyways, the online dating experience was pretty bad overall... It's the kind of thing that would make people lose half of their hope in the "goodness of heart" of the population. You would see profiles full of "good and moral qualities" and really nice ladies describing they want "love and serious guys" just like you. Then, you would write your wonderful message thinking "that's it; I am who she's looking for!" just to be totally ignored as if you weren't even worth replying "thanks, but no thanks." And take notes, these were the "nice and educated ladies" NOT the crazy-looking ones. AND, they were not the models either. I never messaged anyone that looked too gorgeous because I automatically expected her to be THAT picky (as in wanting a guy that was on the same level of looks as her).
Ultimately, there comes a time when enough is enough (because I am not a masochist). After months and months of that same crap (over and over and over again), I just concluded that online dating doesn't work for me.
I am very likable so I always have more success with new people in person. Online, people can't see me for who I really am, OR they are just not as nice as they describe themselves as in profiles, OR they just base their decisions on physical looks, height, jobs, and other scales that have nothing to do with what really matters the most for great relationships and friendships.
But in person likable is likable, crazy is crazy, nice is nice, and good is good. It's much harder to fake the truth of who you really are in person. It's also way easier to tell who liked you and who didn't like you.
That's why I have come to the conclusion that in person is best for me, by far.
I will probably make my own meetup group to [hopefully] meet other people like me, while I do some hobbies I usually do on my own anyways (such as running, volleyball, tennis, and reading).
The "meeting women" monthly fee will be better spent that way than on any other bs dating site.
I would have probably met someone already if I had used all the wasted time from dating sites on social settings that involve what I truly like.
Even eharmony wasn't good (as some other poster mentioned).
For the record, I am in my late 20's just like the topic creator.
If anyone wants to see how I look I have a picture here.
And yeah, not to sound pessimistic (I am not, I'm actually quite optimistic, considering my experiences), but "the trend" definitely doesn't look pretty. With online dating out of the question, and college out of the equation, and work not being an option [for most] to meet new people and new young women, I am predicting that there's going to be a really high number of disappointed people in their late 20's and early 30's (especially men).
Me? I am just going to take it easy, take the social route and do what I like, regardless of whether I find someone who likes me or not. Life's too short to be unhappy about any of this stuff.
You seem upset that men are looking for their "perfect mate" but wouldn't that be what anyone is looking for? Isn't that the point of dating in the first place?
Yeah, but it would seem they want their mate to be "perfect" before considering a quick meet n greet, sadly.
Yes, I have noticed a very similar trend, from the opposite side of the fence, and perhaps, far worse.
In fact, I quit online dating recently because I realized that it was a royal waste of my time. Every time I thought I had found a "nice" young woman that had A LOT in common with me and that seemed to be looking for someone that is just like me, it turned out that I was wrong. I didn't even get a reply back to my messages. And I like writing, so you can be sure that my messages were well-crafted and thoughtful (showing that the guy can have an interesting conversation). But, alas, that didn't make any difference. And I am not even bad looking (I would rate myself 6/10 in looks at worst, and 7.5 at best). I don't even want to imagine what fat or very ugly guys go through in dating sites. I'm guessing I was just ignored but they would get blocked asap.
I came to the conclusion that the level of pickiness in online dating sites is supreme. And it's mostly based on how handsome, popular, and "badass" the guy looks in his pictures. If it was truly based on good character and on what the profile says I would have gotten tons of messages and replies. I wouldn't have been able to keep up with the messages, since, I was "the honest and decent guy" that most of them said they wanted.
Apparently, most of the women in their 20's (even the ones that are not that great in ANY category) were expecting a prince on the other side. However, there are no princes and the top handsome ones are most likely players that already have 5 other women running after them. Super handsome men that are on parties every weekend do not need dating sites. And most likely, they are not the ones looking for serious love with just one woman. That's just human psychology 101.
Anyways, the online dating experience was pretty bad overall... It's the kind of thing that would make people lose half of their hope in the "goodness of heart" of the population. You would see profiles full of "good and moral qualities" and really nice ladies describing they want "love and serious guys" just like you. Then, you would write your wonderful message thinking "that's it; I am who she's looking for!" just to be totally ignored as if you weren't even worth replying "thanks, but no thanks." And take notes, these were the "nice and educated ladies" NOT the crazy-looking ones. AND, they were not the models either. I never messaged anyone that looked too gorgeous because I automatically expected her to be THAT picky (as in wanting a guy that was on the same level of looks as her).
Ultimately, there comes a time when enough is enough (because I am not a masochist). After months and months of that same crap (over and over and over again), I just concluded that online dating doesn't work for me.
I am very likable so I always have more success with new people in person. Online, people can't see me for who I really am, OR they are just not as nice as they describe themselves as in profiles, OR they just base their decisions on physical looks, height, jobs, and other scales that have nothing to do with what really matters the most for great relationships and friendships.
But in person likable is likable, crazy is crazy, nice is nice, and good is good. It's much harder to fake the truth of who you really are in person. It's also way easier to tell who liked you and who didn't like you.
That's why I have come to the conclusion that in person is best for me, by far.
I will probably make my own meetup group to [hopefully] meet other people like me, while I do some hobbies I usually do on my own anyways (such as running, volleyball, tennis, and reading).
The "meeting women" monthly fee will be better spent that way than on any other bs dating site.
I would have probably met someone already if I had used all the wasted time from dating sites on social settings that involve what I truly like.
Even eharmony wasn't good (as some other poster mentioned).
For the record, I am in my late 20's just like the topic creator.
If anyone wants to see how I look I have a picture here.
And yeah, not to sound pessimistic (I am not, I'm actually quite optimistic, considering my experiences), but "the trend" definitely doesn't look pretty. With online dating out of the question, and college out of the equation, and work not being an option [for most] to meet new people and new young women, I am predicting that there's going to be a really high number of disappointed people in their late 20's and early 30's (especially men).
Me? I am just going to take it easy, take the social route and do what I like, regardless of whether I find someone who likes me or not. Life's too short to be unhappy about any of this stuff.
Yeah, I mirror your sentiment. Esp. when you thought you found practically a mirror image of yourself. What's sad is, some of these women my equal in looks, and I still wouldn't get responses.
These women still remain permanent fixtures of the online dating world. Many of which I had emailed on more than one occasion, only to keep seeing them again and again. Only to be ignored.
It was then I realized that their expectations are quite unrealistic, esp . in a smaller city
Quote:
I will probably make my own meetup group
Smart move! At least there, the women can't ignore ya. lol
Seeing the comments so far it looks like I'm way less judgement than the average person unless only those specific people answered. I would never dismiss anyone b/c they don't have a good education or job. It's about how well you get along to me. That's exactly what I mean by too picky. Having a check list who fits in and who doesn't. I'm not even talking about accepting everything like someone with no education or on wellfare but why would a man particularly need to know how much I earn, my living standard. It's bad enough they want you to be just their type physically but also have everything else is a new level of superficial. I notice it more in older guys too (late 20s, 30s) get more and more picky which makes me think normal natural men don't exist online. I tried to look this up but all I find is posts about picky, superficial women. No woman on here that shares my experience?
I tried to look this up but all I find is posts about picky, superficial women. No woman on here that shares my experience?
That's because men aren't as unrealistic in dating as women are.
I remember seeing a movie with Harrison Ford and some other leading lady. I just recall them crash landing on an island somewhere and the ywere talking about about what women want/men want. She was lamenting on what men should do to attract a woman.
I just recall him saying, "All a woman has to do is show up"
That's because men aren't as unrealistic in dating as women are.
I remember seeing a movie with Harrison Ford and some other leading lady. I just recall them crash landing on an island somewhere and the ywere talking about about what women want/men want. She was lamenting on what men should do to attract a woman.
I just recall him saying, "All a woman has to do is show up"
That must be why there aren’t more women talking about it, b/c they’re mostly superficial and choosy themselves. Just getting a guy for a night or something casual is one thing but I’m talking about guys looking for a relationship. It’s like they only consider to get with you seriously if you prove you’re good enough for them. So conceited.
That's all I ever wanted, a woman who connects with me 1.) educational level, 2.) career level, 3.) looks, 4.) intellectual curiosity, 5.) physical fitness as a means to live to 100, 6.) culinary curiosity, and lastly, 7.) a desire for international travel. #8 is of course obvious.
There are several things going on, I think, that contribute to this.
1. I've read articles suggesting a bifurcation of society in general going on, which OLD may be just accentuating. The notion that lawyers and doctor are only interested in others with a jd, md, or phd. Same with perceived looks. That society will become a dichotomy of super pretty and super rich and the opposite. I didn't want to believe this was happening, but I think it probably is.
2. People don't find the good in things sufficient if their checklists aren't all filled. I'm a 'if ain't broke don't fix it', 'appreciate the little things', 'go with the flow' kinda person. But many aren't. I remember a colleague was shopping for a home around same time I was. He told me had his realtor show he and his spouse about 30+ homes before deciding. I asked my realtor to show me 4; or 5 if you count the shell needing a new everything that I was only mildly curious about. I love my house wouldn't trade her for anything. There are a lot of people I know that couldn't or wouldn't do such a thing.There's an interesting book called Algorithms To Live By. I wish everyone on a OLD could read the chapter on search.
There are several things going on, I think, that contribute to this.
1. I've read articles suggesting a bifurcation of society in general going on, which OLD may be just accentuating. The notion that lawyers and doctor are only interested in others with a jd, md, or phd. Same with perceived looks. That society will become a dichotomy of super pretty and super rich and the opposite. I didn't want to believe this was happening, but I think it probably is.
2. People don't find the good in things sufficient if their checklists aren't all filled. I'm a 'if ain't broke don't fix it', 'appreciate the little things', 'go with the flow' kinda person. But many aren't. I remember a colleague was shopping for a home around same time I was. He told me had his realtor show he and his spouse about 30+ homes before deciding. I asked my realtor to show me 4; or 5 if you count the shell needing a new everything that I was only mildly curious about. I love my house wouldn't trade her for anything. There are a lot of people I know that couldn't or wouldn't do such a thing.There's an interesting book called Algorithms To Live By. I wish everyone on a OLD could read the chapter on search.
Yeah, there's a popular author now with a book about settling on "Mr Good Enough"
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I feel the same way
