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I am 43, Asian. Divorced but no kids. I dated a man with kids and I didn't like how restricted it was to schedule activities with a man with kids. I was never the priority but I understood.
Now I am back on OLD, I ignored men with kids. One time I was being nice to reply that sorry I am looking for guys without kids. The person responded and said I am naive because most men at my age have kids and I will be alone forever. I do think there are still plenty single men in my age group who don't have kids. Or am I missing out a lot good men? But I really don't want to deal with kids and I don't want to work extra hard to get approval.
I am 43, Asian. Divorced but no kids. I dated a man with kids and I didn't like how restricted it was to schedule activities with a man with kids. I was never the priority but I understood.
Now I am back on OLD, I ignored men with kids. One time I was being nice to reply that sorry I am looking for guys without kids. The person responded and said I am naive because most men at my age have kids and I will be alone forever. I do think there are still plenty single men in my age group who don't have kids. Or am I missing out a lot good men? But I really don't want to deal with kids and I don't want to work extra hard to get approval.
Do what you have to do. I don't think it's wrong, it's just your preference.
I get it. And you are totally allowed to feel this way. I'm 46 with a grown child, and I would not want to date someone with younger children. Maybe teenagers would be okay, but not the kind you have to constantly watch and schedule around.
I don’t blame you. I dated a couple of men with young children and realized the same thing you did. You are not their top priority.
Don’t worry, there will be plenty of men who are thrilled you are child free. You don’t need complainers. Besides, most men your age will have almost adult children. That’s fine.
I get it. And you are totally allowed to feel this way. I'm 46 with a grown child, and I would not want to date someone with younger children. Maybe teenagers would be okay, but not the kind you have to constantly watch and schedule around.
Right, you're not wrong to have a preference, but you could loosen your restrictions a little if you're finding it problematic. Parents will always be parents, but someone with an 18-year-old and a 15-year-old, say, will probably need to be less hands-on than someone with an 8- and 5-year old. And even if a man doesn't have kids, he may have other family members or people in his life that will need his time and attention. You aren't going to find someone who is all about you 24/7.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 10-12-2018 at 03:21 PM..
Well, I don't really think it's about being naive. More people than not will have kids by their 40s, it's true, but kids are a BIG deal. You can't just decide "oh, okay, fine, I'll go that route" because someone got mad and called you naive. If you don't want to date someone with children, don't. You'll find someone.
You do you.
However, I have to wonder. At 43 most men will have grown children...do you also avoid them as well?
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If you don't want to date someone with children, don't. You'll find someone.
