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I travel without my husband all the time. We have very minimal contact while I'm away. It's just how I am. If he was all insistent and harassing me for contact, I'd probably tell him to back off. I am on vacation, I am not going to feed someone else's insecurities. Heck, I won't do that when I'm home!
Let the guy enjoy his vacation. (And fyi, I do not text when eating out at a restaurant).
The only thing is I'm just not sure who my boyfriend is travelling with. When he first arrived in the capital city (he met a boy and girl who were staying in the same hostel and all 3 of them travelled to an area in the country, they stayed there for a few days and then travelled on to an island and stayed there for like 5 days. I haven't had an update since then. My boyfriend told me that he recently arrived in another city and is staying in another hostel, but I've no idea who he's travelling with. I'm just curious to know really
From my boyfriend's Instagram photos, he has a lot of photos of him posing in different places that must have been taken by someone else. I'm just wondering who's taking all of these photos of him for him. Maybe it's random people, it's just reminds me of whenever me and my boyfriend went on holiday I'd always try to capture photos of him in different places and I'd really enjoy taking them
This is odd, OP. Why assume he's traveling with anyone? That's the last thing that would cross my mind. When I travel, I do so alone; I don't pick up fellow-travelers along the way. And some tourist areas have professional photographers you can pay to take photos with the local attractions in the background.
This is odd, OP. Why assume he's traveling with anyone? That's the last thing that would cross my mind. When I travel, I do so alone; I don't pick up fellow-travelers along the way. And some tourist areas have professional photographers you can pay to take photos with the local attractions in the background.
well he met a boy and girl at a hostel on his first night in vietnam and he ended up travelling to two different places with them for like a week. i don't know, i wasn't sure if he was still travelling with them, or just one of them or if he was alone... i had no idea
with his lack of communication and consideration towards me... it wasnt out of the realms of possibility that he could have met some girl and be travelling with her. i have no idea
well he met a boy and girl at a hostel on his first night in vietnam and he ended up travelling to two different places with them for like a week. i don't know, i wasn't sure if he was still travelling with them, or just one of them or if he was alone... i had no idea
with his lack of communication and consideration towards me... it wasnt out of the realms of possibility that he could have met some girl and be travelling with her. i have no idea
I can see how you might think that. Nothing wrong that the idea crossed your mind...
It seems based on the other replies there is more history here than I'm aware of. But I wanted to say that I just got done backpacking a month in Indonesia, and I texted and spoke with everyone back home just as much as normal. There is internet everywhere these days. It's easy.
I don't think it's crazy to expect your partner to communicate to you everyday while traveling. At least one phone call/texting session a day. If they aren't doing that, or if they feel they need a vacation "from me", I wouldn't call that a relationship. I'd say it sounds like you two are on a break. And if that's the case, I wouldn't contact him at all.
Not trying to freak you out, OP, but years ago, I had a boyfriend go backpacking for three months during our relationship. He said it was something he "just needed to do" and I understood and supported that (couldn't go with him due to my job at the time).
Everything felt fine for the first month or so and we communicated once every few days, maybe. Then, communication just stopped for at least two weeks. I had a terrible feeling in my stomach. I was so worried about him. I thought he'd been hurt or something. But long story short, I eventually found out he'd met another woman and was cheating on me.
I personally think you should let this guy go, OP. If he's wanting to go traveling for a month without you by his side, he might be emotionally checking out of the relationship anyway. I could see going on a trip on your own for a week or something for vacation or maybe even longer for business or whatever. But a month is a rather long time. I get the feeling this dude is looking to break away and live life on his own.
This is odd, OP. Why assume he's traveling with anyone? That's the last thing that would cross my mind. When I travel, I do so alone; I don't pick up fellow-travelers along the way. And some tourist areas have professional photographers you can pay to take photos with the local attractions in the background.
It happens a lot with young people, as it's part of the hostel lifestyle, and even a few of my single middle-aged friends "picked up" fellow travelers to share expenses and experiences along the way. They drop in and out at various destinations. For some, meeting new people is part of the solo travel experience.
It is unlikely he is "backpacking" in the conventional sense - more likely going from hostel to hostel and using public transportation.
Nowadays data SIMs are readily available all over Vietnam and work with any Internet calling service - although I agree with previous posters that the guy should just be left alone to his adventure. All affected parties should untimately benefit from the experience.
I know of two. One works anywhere, and another has areas with no service.
The point of bringing that up is if he didn't think to get a new SIM card from the Vietnamese companies, and depending on where the hike is, or bus ride, takes him, its possible that it could very well be the case he cant call or text because he has no/intermittent service.
I know of two. One works anywhere, and another has areas with no service.
The point of bringing that up is if he didn't think to get a new SIM card from the Vietnamese companies, and depending on where the hike is, or bus ride, takes him, its possible that it could very well be the case he cant call or text because he has no/intermittent service.
^^^^Those people are just walking to a hostel too. If they claimed not to have service on that path, I'd believe them.
Nope he got a Vietnamese SIM card on the first day he arrived in Vietnam. It was one of the first things he did so that he could have access to reliable internet.
On top of that, he's online on WhatsApp very frequently and every single day. It's very obvious to me that he has good internet connection wherever he is. He also has access to WiFi in all of the hostels he's staying at so there is no reason this can be an excuse.
Anyway, he called me last night and we had a long conversation about how he is and what he's up to, sounds like he's really enjoying himself and meeting lots of new people. It was nice for him to reach out to me first for a change. I'm feeling relaxed and happy and still in love with him... Just can't wait for him to come back next Friday even though he said he wants to see more of Vietnam! He actually suggested we both go back next year which I'd be up for
I worked for a while in SE Asia and spent most of my time in Vietnam.
Internet/data access isn't as ubiquitous as in the West but it's still pretty readily available except in the most rural areas. That said, I much preferred to post a general update on Facebook (I'm not young enough for Instagram) every few days rather than update people individually unless there was a pressing need. I was trying to immerse myself in the local community and become stronger at the language, and constantly talking to people back home undermines that. Plus, frankly, too much contact with the US just felt sort of intrusive a lot of the time. Think of the difference between just sitting through a movie with your devices off, giving your full attention to the film, versus keeping up a running text conversation, surfing the internet, playing Candy Crush...you get a lot more out of the movie if you do the former. It feels much more vivid and immersive. For someone from a typical Euro or North American country Vietnam is, by comparison, very colorful and boisterous. It really demands you pay attention to your surroundings.
Let your boyfriend enjoy his trip. Don't go borrowing trouble. If something's wrong, you'll find out when he gets back - in the meantime no amount of badgering him over WhatsApp is going to help, it's just going to exasperate you both.
Anyway, he called me last night and we had a long conversation about how he is and what he's up to, sounds like he's really enjoying himself and meeting lots of new people. It was nice for him to reach out to me first for a change. I'm feeling relaxed and happy and still in love with him... Just can't wait for him to come back next Friday even though he said he wants to see more of Vietnam! He actually suggested we both go back next year which I'd be up for
You do realize this is just a short-term solution to your problems, correct?
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