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It may not be your ideal, but I would imagine you can enjoy the trip.
Why not tell her in the future, that the two of you will pick a gift for the both of you?
That's pretty much what DH and I do now.... decide together what are gift is and then buy it.
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Any spouse, that shares their life with their significant other will put more in sometime, and take out as well. It's a give and take. If one were to penny-pinch the relationship down to who made more, who cleaned house, who made dinners, who sacrificed by eating leftovers at work-lunch, etc. Then you don't have a relationship, you have a business arrangement.
No one is arguing otherwise.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sinsativ
So, get off the money issue. That's totally irrelevant. He stated it was expensive, but, they could afford it.
The OP came here and made it pretty clear this is about money. So, no, it's not irrelevant at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sinsativ
Old saying, NEVER LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH>
Whether or not this was a gift is also debatable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sinsativ
If anyone can honestly state they would tell their wife/husband that they don't like the gift they got for their birthday and please don't spend so much money in the future, and expect to have a good marriage, please, step up and state your experience. I said experience, not, what you think would happen if you told your significant other that. I want to hear from someone that has told them, I don't like it, want it, and you spent too much money, (on me?)
No one is advising the OP to tell his wife that he doesn't like the "gift".
As for future spending, several people have recommended that there should be a discussion after the trip. I would agree with those people - provided it is handled delicately.
The problem the OP has is that his wife jumped the gun in her excitement to book her husband the "perfect" birthday trip. Yes, she should have run it by him first, but she didn't, and the money is spent and not refundable or returnable. She can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. Since the OP's objection to the trip is more, "eh, we've already been to Italy," and not "we can't possibly afford the expense," or "this trip is not something I'd ever want to do and I'm going to hate every minute of it," what most of us are saying is to go on vacation, to enjoy the time with his wife in a beautiful place, and then when they get back, to talk about how to handle expenses and surprises like this in the future.
I absolutely agree and I said the same thing in post #55. My recent comments have pretty much been directed towards those who are saying how ungrateful he is. I disagree with those people and have stated several reasons why.
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