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Do you think he is suffering from depression? That could account for poor communication and be a result of pain issues.
If he won’t go to counseling, try to find someone for yourself to talk to, in addition to any friends or family you have. I’m sure you’re feeling numb.
A professional mediator once told me that divorcing couples often file before they speak to someone like himself to lay out the groundwork for a less contentious split. That’s just about all I know about the subject.
There are plenty of positive people here, so don’t let some of the less supportive ones make you feel paranoid.
Do you love him? Did you love him when you married? Or did you marry for other reasons?
I did love him when we got married. I didn't get married until I was almost 42, I was my husband's 3rd wife. I could sense things weren't going well for a while, I guess I just thought they would get better
Do you think he is suffering from depression? That could account for poor communication and be a result of pain issues.
If he won’t go to counseling, try to find someone for yourself to talk to, in addition to any friends or family you have. I’m sure you’re feeling numb.
A professional mediator once told me that divorcing couples often file before they speak to someone like himself to lay out the groundwork for a less contentious split. That’s just about all I know about the subject.
There are plenty of positive people here, so don’t let some of the less supportive ones make you feel paranoid.
Take good care of yourself.
Thank you ellie. It's pretty difficult, I do have good friends I can talk to,which I am going to do. That's why I like this forurm, there are a lot of good helpful people here.
He didn't seem happy ,but I thought it was due to pain issues he was having. The cold wather doesn't help his pain. A lot of our problems had to do with lack of communication.
I did love him when we got married. I didn't get married until I was almost 42, I was my husband's 3rd wife. I could sense things weren't going well for a while, I guess I just thought they would get better
Why did your husband's other two marriages fall apart? You may find answers there. People don't really change who they are in relationships.
I'm so sorry that he wants to split without giving counseling or other methods of resolving things a chance. And he just sprung that on you like that. Glad, though, that you have friends to talk to who will be supportive. Best wishes to you. I wish I had some advice but I don't know anyone who's been through something similar.
I've experienced this. I think its different with women. When a woman makes up her mind she's done, thats it. Then she informs the man 6 months later, who has been in the dark. That's my story. She was planning and saving money while I was paying all the bills. All that to say I was blindsided just like you, but I was devastated, unlike you. We were together for a total of 7 years. Took me a long time to get over it, and I still think about how I ruined the best years of my life by being with the wrong woman. We also didn't have kids, and I wish we had even if we weren't going to stay together because I wanted them. Too late now. Anyway, in your case, sounds like he may have someone else. I base that on 3 marriages and him not wanting counseling, but who knows. Just a guess. I've become cynical at this point. I think you'll be fine on your own because it seems men need women more than women need men these days. You're probably very independent with a good social life and support system. I didn't have those things. In conclusion, I can empathize and I also think you'll be great without him.
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