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Old 10-25-2018, 09:29 PM
 
11 posts, read 6,102 times
Reputation: 15

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So I was sexually active with this guy for a couple of weeks (the last person before him was my ex 5 MONTHS ago and I did not experience anything like this before and that guy was all clear after STD testing). Two weeks after getting intimate with the new guy I noticed mouth ulcers accompanied by flu-like symptoms prior to it. My family doctor said it was indeed HSV and it transmitted through lesions either on my partner's mouth or penis.
After my talk with my family doctor I spoke to my (now former, we called it quits a week ago) partner. He was like “omg I had no idea” and he asked if we could meet up and discuss it, i obviously declined.
APPARENTLY he went to the doctors (immediately after I informed him) and he told me he got a blood test. Then he says how it’s not a big deal because 67% of the population have it and how I should continue seeing people (should not let it impact my love life) and don’t have to mention it blah blah...
Awhile back, he told me that he only [Mod cut.] 4 people this year and the last time was in May, “as well” (based on what I told him about myself). But last night he says the last person he was with was his ex aka the one he broke up with in the start of the year... which does not add up.
Anyways when I proceeded to talk to him about it he began to give me the cold shoulder and fully ignored everything I said. Instead of reassuring me anything.
Based on the symptoms I was scared that it maybe something far worse and confronted him about it and he told me and I quote "this is not hiv, its hsv, which is not dangerous, and it was not intentional and what you have is hsv and it is not even confirmed that it is me who has it".
I recall him telling me to kiss more gently even tho I was not rough, I'm assuming his lips must have been extra sensitive due to lesions (recall: family doctor said it was indeed HSV and it transmitted through lesions either on my partner's mouth or penis.)

Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-26-2018 at 09:06 AM.. Reason: Inappropriate language.

 
Old 10-25-2018, 09:38 PM
 
553 posts, read 301,076 times
Reputation: 781
so you have cold sores? the guy and your doctor are right. doesn't mean you got it from the guy. or you could have gotten it from the guy by kissing.

from the CDC website:
What is oral herpes?
Oral herpes is usually caused by HSV-1 and can result in cold sores or fever blisters on or around the mouth. However, most people do not have any symptoms. Most people with oral herpes were infected during childhood or young adulthood from non-sexual contact with saliva.



so the guy could truly not have known.

anyway, sorry to hear. make sure you are always using protection (that goes for oral too). and it COULD have been HIV so be careful.

https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm
 
Old 10-25-2018, 09:41 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,761,388 times
Reputation: 98359
Sooooo ... not herpes??

There's no real way to prove he did it intentionally, OP.
 
Old 10-25-2018, 09:45 PM
 
11 posts, read 6,102 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Levels77 View Post
so you have cold sores? the guy and your doctor are right. doesn't mean you got it from the guy. or you could have gotten it from the guy by kissing.

from the CDC website:
What is oral herpes?
Oral herpes is usually caused by HSV-1 and can result in cold sores or fever blisters on or around the mouth. However, most people do not have any symptoms. Most people with oral herpes were infected during childhood or young adulthood from non-sexual contact with saliva.



so the guy could truly not have known.

anyway, sorry to hear. make sure you are always using protection (that goes for oral too). and it COULD have been HIV so be careful.

https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm

The incubation period for HSV is 2 days-12 days after sexual contact. It appeared at the SAME time I was intimate with this guy (we made out, I performed Mod cut.). I have never experienced a HSV episode before. I am still scared it maybe HIV because I went to the ER as I was feeling really sick and thought I had the flu. These flu-like symptoms include: headache (could not lift my head up), fever, Night sweats (hot flashes during sleep): This one was unusual since I never had it before and it was so bad my whole shirt was drenched in sweat and I had to take it off, body aches, nausea, sore throat and dry cough. The doctor assessed me and told me it is not a flu and therefore I would not need antibiotics and however it is most likely a cold and I should just take both Advil & Tylenol for the pain. Then after this my lips became swollen with severe pain and burning, I pulled down my bottom lip to see multiple mouth ulcers/lesions and even some on the top.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-26-2018 at 09:02 AM.. Reason: Not PG-13.
 
Old 10-25-2018, 09:51 PM
 
553 posts, read 301,076 times
Reputation: 781
Quote:
Originally Posted by commercial_fox View Post
The incubation period for HSV is 2 days-12 days after sexual contact. It appeared at the SAME time I was intimate with this guy (we made out, I performed [snip]). I have never experienced a HSV episode before. I am still scared it maybe HIV because I went to the ER as I was feeling really sick and thought I had the flu. These flu-like symptoms include: headache (could not lift my head up), fever, Night sweats (hot flashes during sleep): This one was unusual since I never had it before and it was so bad my whole shirt was drenched in sweat and I had to take it off, body aches, nausea, sore throat and dry cough. The doctor assessed me and told me it is not a flu and therefore I would not need antibiotics and however it is most likely a cold and I should just take both Advil & Tylenol for the pain. Then after this my lips became swollen with severe pain and burning, I pulled down my bottom lip to see multiple mouth ulcers/lesions and even some on the top.
i'm really sorry. but i'm assuming your doctor tested you for all the STDs to make sure you don't have anything else.

Did you see his penis? You probably would have noticed if he had herpes on it. But sometimes these things can be passed even without seeing the ulcers.

So it is possible he really did not know he had it. But timing wise, you are right. You probably got it from him.

did you have vaginal sex without a condom too?

if not, just focus on the silver lining: a lot of people have cold sores and most would not assume you got it from sex. #2 you could have gotten something much worse like warts, or HIV or genital herpes. #3 know you know to never have any form of sex without protection, make it a date to go to a clinic and get STD testing together prior to getting intimate and make sure you really trust the guy before you have sex without a condom

i know it feels like the end of the world right now, but its not. a lot of people have cold sores!

Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-26-2018 at 09:07 AM..
 
Old 10-25-2018, 09:54 PM
 
11 posts, read 6,102 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Levels77 View Post
i'm really sorry. but i'm assuming your doctor tested you for all the STDs to make sure you don't have anything else.

Did you see his penis? You probably would have noticed if he had herpes on it. But sometimes these things can be passed even without seeing the ulcers.

So it is possible he really did not know he had it. But timing wise, you are right. You probably got it from him.

did you have vaginal sex without a condom too?

if not, just focus on the silver lining: a lot of people have cold sores and most would not assume you got it from sex. #2 you could have gotten something much worse like warts, or HIV or genital herpes. #3 know you know to never have any form of sex without protection, make it a date to go to a clinic and get STD testing together prior to getting intimate and make sure you really trust the guy before you have sex without a condom

i know it feels like the end of the world right now, but its not. a lot of people have cold sores!

I did not do a blood test yet (herpes can be detected through swap tests) so I can not even conclude that I am clear of all the other STDs. Given the symptoms I experienced.... yikes...

FYI I will be doing the blood test (most likely) tomorrow
 
Old 10-25-2018, 09:59 PM
 
553 posts, read 301,076 times
Reputation: 781
Quote:
Originally Posted by commercial_fox View Post
I did not do a blood test yet (herpes can be detected through swap tests) so I can not even conclude that I am clear of all the other STDs. Given the symptoms I experienced.... yikes...

FYI I will be doing the blood test (most likely) tomorrow
wow, yes please go get tested for everything! prioritize it!
 
Old 10-25-2018, 10:07 PM
 
11 posts, read 6,102 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Levels77 View Post
wow, yes please go get tested for everything! prioritize it!

I heard people who contract herpes can experience flu like symptoms when first infected and same symptoms come with Mono
 
Old 10-25-2018, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,761,388 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by commercial_fox View Post
I heard people who contract herpes can experience flu like symptoms when first infected and same symptoms come with Mono
Yes.
 
Old 10-25-2018, 10:10 PM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,428,470 times
Reputation: 9548
I wouldn’t be able to tell you...nobody would.
Get the testing and keep it cool until you know what’s up for sure.

“Flu like symptoms” as well as mouth ulcers can be a number of things, including those not related to sexual transmission.
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