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I agree and generally believe it is "mostly" (no, not entirely) due to women having stronger social networks, and having have born most of the emotional labor (and often physical labor) of caring for the family unit and later on are tired and/or want to focus on themselves. Rightfully so.
So, don't you think that's a shame that some women are so tired of being tired from caregiving that they just want to be let alone? The reason I say that is I believe there are plenty of 40+ men who are not looking for a "caregiver," but, instead, are looking for companionship and intimacy as their primary goals. Yet, women who are burned out from caregiving want nothing to do with them. To me, it's just such a shame. I hope I am making sense here.
So, don't you think that's a shame that some women are so tired of being tired from caregiving that they just want to be let alone? The reason I say that is I believe there are plenty of 40+ men who are not looking for a "caregiver," but, instead, are looking for companionship and intimacy as their primary goals. Yet, women who are burned out from caregiving want nothing to do with them. To me, it's just such a shame. I hope I am making sense here.
It's not a shame, though. Ending up with someone who just 'gets me' or has great humor or is desirable to me in ways other than obvious good looks has become more a theme as I get older. Not because I keep getting uglier and fatter-er, but because with enough experiences I can narrow down what is the kind of quality that keeps me interested. Someone that isn't needy, or pigeon-holing. I have to have a person that is accepting. I am also accepting.
I felt unneeded during my first year of empty nesting, it was a little sad. During this, my second year of empty nesting I feel a little unneeded, and that's a very freeing thing. I come and go as I please.
I don't think it will be a shame if I don't find this in monogamy-happily-ever-after 2-as-1 thing. I don't have my worth tied to something like that.
Lastly if you can understand, finding the person who makes me happy isn't about merit, or "meritocracy", I don't think I am currently single because I am lacking, not smart enough not attractive enough-- and haven't earned that whomever may be. It just is!
It's not a shame, though. Ending up with someone who just 'gets me' or has great humor or is desirable to me in ways other than obvious good looks has become more a theme as I get older. Not because I keep getting uglier and fatter-er, but because with enough experiences I can narrow down what is the kind of quality that keeps me interested. Someone that isn't needy, or pigeon-holing. I have to have a person that is accepting. I am also accepting.
I felt unneeded during my first year of empty nesting, it was a little sad. During this, my second year of empty nesting I feel a little unneeded, and that's a very freeing thing. I come and go as I please.
I don't think it will be a shame if I don't find this in monogamy-happily-ever-after 2-as-1 thing. I don't have my worth tied to something like that.
Lastly if you can understand, finding the person who makes me happy isn't about merit, or "meritocracy", I don't think I am currently single because I am lacking, not smart enough not attractive enough-- and haven't earned that whomever may be. It just is!
I wasn't clear in my post, and I apologize for that. What I meant was I think it's a shame that some women feel so overworked by previous caregiving demands that they just, if you will, want to be left alone.
I thought it was fairly well known that the older ladies do a bit better than the guys do.
I suppose I am interested in the "why" part. Like the social-networking aspect that some posters have said women seem to develop and maintain a bit easier than do men. I had not considered that until it was mentioned but can see how that may well influence on this subject. Most men I know who are 40+ and single have a pretty active social life and men friends they socialize with regularly.
I suppose I am interested in the "why" part. Like the social-networking aspect that some posters have said women seem to develop and maintain a bit easier than do men. I had not considered that until it was mentioned but can see how that may well influence on this subject. Most men I know who are 40+ and single have a pretty active social life and men friends they socialize with regularly.
Just a theory, but it could really just be down to having served all our lives. Cleaning, caretaking. This is slowly changing, but overall it didn't change in time for current seniors, and actually, even today, women statistically do both more cleaning and childcare than men even when the couple both work full time. Eventually, we're just over it. It's finally Miller Time after 60 years or so.
I suppose I am interested in the "why" part. Like the social-networking aspect that some posters have said women seem to develop and maintain a bit easier than do men. I had not considered that until it was mentioned but can see how that may well influence on this subject. Most men I know who are 40+ and single have a pretty active social life and men friends they socialize with regularly.
Men tend to not nurture relationships with other men as much as women tend to do, for all the reasons listed. I know for me personally I tend to be more of a lone wolf than other guys are.
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