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I don’t know. My gut tells me he still cares about me but I get really bad aneixty or always wonder if I’m bothering someone
he DOES care about you. its why he's told you plainly to he does not want to date you. he cares about you so much he does not want to string you along. He wants FWB and is being very considerate in letting you know it will ONLY be sex and nothing else. Do not be upset if you start FWB with him, and then he ends the sex with you because he finds a girl he wants to be in a relationship with.
He didn’t say he didn’t want to be in a relationship now, he said that a few years ago! This time he was talking about being compatible and settling down and wanted to know what I was looking for in a guy.
You two had a long conversation when you met and this guy has a history of being open, frank and direct (i.e, you would make great wife material). Believe me when I say that if he wanted to be in a relationship with you he would have said so when you two just met. He would have start planning with you. He would have said he wants to be with you, and ask you if you want to be in a relationship with him.
I've seen this pattern a lot so its very plain to me. But you aren't so sure so ask him directly. I suggested this a few posts ago. You two know each other well enough to have these open conversations.
Tell him: "I need to know, we flirted a lot last time we were together, and I may move out there soon. Do you want to be in a relationship with me?"
You two had a long conversation when you met and this guy has a history of being open, frank and direct (i.e, you would make great wife material). Believe me when I say that if he wanted to be in a relationship with you he would have said so when you two just met. He would have start planning with you. He would have said he wants to be with you, and ask you if you want to be in a relationship with him.
I've seen this pattern a lot so its very plain to me. But you aren't so sure so ask him directly. I suggested this a few posts ago. You two know each other well enough to have these open conversations.
Tell him: "I need to know, we flirted a lot last time we were together, and I may move out there soon. Do you want to be in a relationship with me?"
Um...after a year of not talking and me moving away dating other men and you’re just now catching up with eachother who the **** would say “hey I haven’t seen you in a year. But btw I want to be in a relationship with you”...not knowing where the other person was even at? Your analysis makes no sense.
Um...after a year of not talking and me moving away dating other men and you’re just now catching up with eachother who the **** would say “hey I haven’t seen you in a year. But btw I want to be in a relationship with you”...not knowing where the other person was even at? Your analysis makes no sense.
having that conversation is crazy after a year but sexting isn't?
he's would have said he missed you a lot, and wants to be with you. that is not crazy. you mentioned you are moving back out there, he would have said that he wants to be with you.
this is the same guy who said you are wife material.
OP, guys can be amazingly sincere on several topics, one of them is when they're saying "I'm not interested in having a relationship right now". I met a guy who told me the same thing months ago and he proved that.
Apparently this guy likes you and doesn't just want to be your friend and he's very nice to you, but what kind of relationship does he want to develop with you, if he doesn't want to have a girlfriend now? Need to ask yourself if you could accept all the possibilities.
Also, have you tried to observe how he interact with other girls? If he can also be so straightforward, flirty and give sweet compliments to other females, you need to think about it. If he only does it to you, then you're truly special to him. However it's hard to say since you guys hadn't been in touch for one year.
And the last conversation... You're not bf and gf yet, but he has already started talking in that way? Hmm.... Better make sure if he's not using the same attitude towards other women. Otherwise you won't be very happy even if you start to have a serious relationship with him.
Maybe you should wait for him to text first... Don't fall for him too fast!
So, here' my two cents' worth of advice: Be direct. It's the twenty-first century and women no longer have to sit on their hands waiting for a man to make his move. Tell him that you'd like to consider taking your friendship/hookup to the next level, i.e., a committed, exclusive relationship once you've moved back into the same zip code. If he feeds you his "I'm not good enough for you, blah, blah, blah" nonsense, feel free to keep him as a FWB, but guard your heart. Also, keep an eye on this drinking of his as drunken behavior seems to keep popping up as a feature in your previous posts. I'm not saying that he has a problem with alcohol, per se, but there's also a chance that he self-medicates with it to treat his self-esteem issues. That can be worrisome in a friend, let alone a romantic partner.
This might be premature advice, but I'm going to give to you anyway for you to tuck away for future reference if needed: Do not, under any circumstances, move in together until you've been together as a couple (if you do, indeed, end up becoming a serious item) for at least eighteen months. It might seem like an arbitrary number to throw out there, but that is enough time to let things settle down a bit on the physical front so you're able to see your relationship with greater clarity and to learn how he handles his personal finances and life in general. Love and great sex can bind a relationship together in both positive and negative ways--living together complicates things immensely should the relationship head south. See also: super reliable method(s) of birth control.
OK, so your moving back there changes things a little.
At the minimum I would dial back the sexting. I know it's fun and all, but it will certainly cloud your judgement if you are considering whether you want a relationship and whether he does as well.
It sounds like he has some ideologies that could be problematic, the fact that he doesn't truly respect many women that he knows being foremost. And I've always hated the phrase "wife material." It really wasn't appropriate to say that.
Try to keep it in your pants, so to speak, while dealing with him for the next couple months, so you two have a chance to sort things out in person. Trying to make sense of any of this over text will be a disaster.
OK, so your moving back there changes things a little.
At the minimum I would dial back the sexting. I know it's fun and all, but it will certainly cloud your judgement if you are considering whether you want a relationship and whether he does as well.
It sounds like he has some ideologies that could be problematic, the fact that he doesn't truly respect many women that he knows being foremost. And I've always hated the phrase "wife material." It really wasn't appropriate to say that.
Try to keep it in your pants, so to speak, while dealing with him for the next couple months, so you two have a chance to sort things out in person. Trying to make sense of any of this over text will be a disaster.
Thank you, you know you’re the first person here who has made sense. You’re right, I stopped sexting him after that last conversation with him bc it reminded me that our connection was way more than sex and if I were to contact him. It’d probably just be to ask if he see if he knows anyone looking for a roommate. But to sort this all over text you’re right would be a disaster. It’s something that needs to be delt with in person and over time.
A friend of mine moved across the country, changed jobs, for her new “bf” of a few months (though she said it was because she wanted to be in a new city). A couple months in to here living there they are no longer dating.
Your guy isn’t a stranger. You make it sound like he’s a good friend. You should be able to talk to him directly, over the phone, about his thoughts on being in a relationship with you. And the sooner the better.
“you don’t want to date me. I’m a mess, I don’t make enough money. I have nothing to offer you. No one should date me right now. I’m not anything”
Is this true?
If so, you may want to keep it on a friendship level.
If it's not true.....well, I'm not a fan of having to constantly reassure someone that they're worthy. That ish gets old.
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