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I noticed a pattern....he only thinks it's a crisis for "young people", he doesn't think it's an issue if people "40s and up....."
I think he said no one is interested in the old ones, so it's ok to take a break after all the variety of humping they've achieved.
Me, I mean. Old one, I get a pass because I hit the wall. Luckily! And if not pursuing sex, it's suicide, homicide and obesity that's been distracting me, not the meaning of life or pursuit of happiness.
I know what I was thinking when I wrote that, and anyone who wants to twist it into a sneaky personal attack can get out of here.
Reproduction (which most people want) usually happens before 40, older people presumably know what will make them happy, good relationships can help mold younger people into better adults, etc.
I know what I was thinking when I wrote that, and anyone who wants to twist it into a sneaky personal attack can get out of here.
Reproduction (which most people want) usually happens before 40, older people presumably know what will make them happy, good relationships can help mold younger people into better adults, etc.
Lighten up, not a sneaky attack, I like to laugh at myself. And no, I don't know what I want, I did when I was younger though. You may think some of us are trying to be contrarian to your opinions, but they simply don't hold true. Hopefully you'll get to that point some day when sex doesn't equal happy or sad. (or worth).
I never said sex equals happiness and I believe the media makes too big a deal of it. But sexlessness usually goes with, on some level, unhappiness. As does extended singledom, more obviously I think.
Getting back to age as an issue, I think it's partly causative. "40 is the new 30" thinking. People not feeling enough time-pressure, due I guess mostly to better outward aging and maybe in women a rosy faith in fertility technology. Meanwhile, people do become less attractive (men and women), energy levels drop, free time drops (maybe into the 40's), habits and social circles become rigid, baggage develops, and so on. It's factual that very young marriages are at high risk of failing, but my hunch is that marriage after a certain age is less likely to last to death and I'm 99% sure there's an age at which never-married morphs into probably-won't-marry. Although that's getting away from the focus of the article.
Last edited by goodheathen; 11-16-2018 at 02:54 PM..
What makes you think that this 20% is the same people that are going through those things? This is just your speculation, right?
It's reasonable to think there's a significant overlap. For example, married people are the least likely to commit suicide.
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What makes you think loneliness or addiction has increased, and not the data collection has improved and the reporting become more accurate?
Loneliness research shows that people have fewer friends than in decades past. I don't know if addiction overall has risen, but the type most relevant to not actively seeking sex (in and out of relationships) has and that's porn addiction.
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I can think in many ways it would benefit people. Less stress, less heartbreak, more time to pursue personal pursuits, invest in education and career, invest in fitness, personal growth, indeed, having no children has shown to haven benefits for individuals, as has having fewer children been shown to increase the success of those children (can invest more into each one), less romantic pursuits allows for more time and emotional capacity to form friendships and peer groups, to get involved in society. I could write paragraphs on potential benefits to the individual of opting out of romantic relationships.
Heck, I date a fair amount, and have had plenty of relationships. I'll tell you what, in many ways my life would have been much healthier and I certainly would have had more money and less depressed days if I just forgone it.
Pain avoidance is not a good way to go about life. That's a nice list of theoretical benefits, but I suspect that only at-home, solitary interests in reality are more common in people who usually are single. Research actually indicates that marriage leads to healthier habits and, while it's probably not a cause, married men make more money than single men.
Now I REALLY wish I could get you to witness what happens at one of the parties. *sigh*
Or that I could share with you a photo of my former girlfriend, now in her mid-40's, who is so beautiful she is LEGENDARY in it, like people cannot speak properly around her sometimes, she stops people in their tracks and drops their jaws she's so hot.
And lots of people heckin do NOT want kids and I see not a thing wrong with that. Those of us who didn't want to but had them anyhow, usually when young and unwise, and/or in less active control of our lives...we are finally getting done raising 'em now. My youngest will be 18 next fall, and I will be 40. And finally able to LIVE (though in fact I've been getting into the groove of it for a little while now.) Oh my god I'm going to have so much sex. I might not wear pants at home for quite some time. I won't have to! It's gonna be great!
God, that you think the real reason to pair up and/or have sex is because hey we all need to breed babies...ugh. Gross. Do you think that young, fertile women should be mandated to have kids, like maybe penned up a few years like cattle or something?
Really are you missing the message that our species is really not in any danger of extinction?
So let us get this straight right now.
Is your "concern" a dropping birthrate, a decrease in quality (like "Idiocracy" style) or quantity of reproduction? Or is it with the supposed epidemic of loneliness and lack of intimacy that for instance has evidently driven a few extreme cases to go kill people?
Which thing are you on about right now?
And more to the point how would you even solve this supposed problem? Are you suggesting that women be controlled and offered less choice in our lifestyles, so that men can get what they need and babies can get made? That, oh, maybe after 40 when no one needs us for sex (PPPffffbbt snort laugh) we can be free to do other, less important-to-society things with our lives?
I've never wanted kids and won't be having any. I'm just acknowledging that that's a major driver in pair-bonding for many people. Maybe in recent decades there's been a significant drop in the population's interest in having kids and that's sapping motivation to date. From the data, most people still want kids, but I don't think surveys have been asking how badly they want them. Maybe religion and traditionalism were pumping up interest in becoming parents.
My main concern about what's happening is the unhappiness spreading among the population (and I didn't bring up incel killers in this thread, because that affects a miniscule number of people).
I have very few ideas for solving the problem (and the only realistic one I mentioned earlier, OkCupid undoing changes it made). If it were that simple, the predicament would not exist. But I hope people start to see it for the near-crisis it is.
Last edited by goodheathen; 11-16-2018 at 04:15 PM..
Now I REALLY wish I could get you to witness what happens at one of the parties. *sigh*
Or that I could share with you a photo of my former girlfriend, now in her mid-40's, who is so beautiful she is LEGENDARY in it, like people cannot speak properly around her sometimes, she stops people in their tracks and drops their jaws she's so hot.
And lots of people heckin do NOT want kids and I see not a thing wrong with that. Those of us who didn't want to but had them anyhow, usually when young and unwise, and/or in less active control of our lives...we are finally getting done raising 'em now. My youngest will be 18 next fall, and I will be 40. And finally able to LIVE (though in fact I've been getting into the groove of it for a little while now.) Oh my god I'm going to have so much sex. I might not wear pants at home for quite some time. I won't have to! It's gonna be great!
God, that you think the real reason to pair up and/or have sex is because hey we all need to breed babies...ugh. Gross. Do you think that young, fertile women should be mandated to have kids, like maybe penned up a few years like cattle or something?
Really are you missing the message that our species is really not in any danger of extinction?
So let us get this straight right now.
Is your "concern" a dropping birthrate, a decrease in quality (like "Idiocracy" style) or quantity of reproduction? Or is it with the supposed epidemic of loneliness and lack of intimacy that for instance has evidently driven a few extreme cases to go kill people?
Which thing are you on about right now?
And more to the point how would you even solve this supposed problem? Are you suggesting that women be controlled and offered less choice in our lifestyles, so that men can get what they need and babies can get made? That, oh, maybe after 40 when no one needs us for sex (PPPffffbbt snort laugh) we can be free to do other, less important-to-society things with our lives?
Right? He feels the sads for all the lonely dateless men wronged by evil wimmenz. All this faux concern about lack of intimacy and people not giving in to their biological urges is just a rant directed at women not doing their duty by putting themselves out there to be made available for all of the wanting and yearning Timothys, even if that may not be the direction any one woman wants to take. In other words, self-righteous entitlement.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen
It's reasonable to think there's a significant overlap. For example, married people are the least likely to commit suicide.
Reasonable to... you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen
Loneliness research shows that people have fewer friends than in decades past. I don't know if addiction overall has risen, but the type most relevant to not actively seeking sex (in and out of relationships) has and that's porn addiction.
What makes you think using porn means people are not actively seeking sex? I know for me, and the friends I've discussed it with, porn use goes way up when we're having more sex.
What do less friends have to do with less sex? The more friends I have the less sex I'm having, because I'm spending more time platonically socializing?
P
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen
ain avoidance is not a good way to go about life. That's a nice list of theoretical benefits, but I suspect that only at-home, solitary interests in reality are more common in people who usually are single. Research actually indicates that marriage leads to healthier habits and, while it's probably not a cause, married men make more money than single men.
You focused on one thing, and skewed it as a negative, when most of them are overwhelmingly beneficial.
You suspect single people are doing more solitary things at home? What? Do you get out? Bars, shows, etc? Single people spend far more time going out from everything I've seen over 30 years. Coupled people are more likely to sit at home.
And now you're talking about marriage and money... not sex. You're all over the place.
Doesn’t seem to be a lack of sex on CD. These threads appear to have people whom have had multiple partners ongoing since they were 14 and are experts on sexuality. It seems you’re expected to have sex immediately after meeting someone for coffee or they’re gone for good. I think from reading CD there’s more people having more sex than ever before.
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