Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-14-2018, 02:48 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 7,971,371 times
Reputation: 30753

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kolt View Post
Im not asking permission for anything, I'm simply trying to decipher her and her situation..

Not sure why you are attacking me or her, as I can't see where I am giving the impression that either of us were to do something unfair towards her man. (They are not engaged/married).

I'm NOT trying to be a homewrecker, I respect her when she says she is in a relationship, I am NOT trying to get her to leave her man, OR engage anything other than a friendship (As mentioned we had a very good friendship, which I really would like to have back, and by firendship I mean FRIENDSHIP.

BUT, as I don't know anything about their relationship and its health, and IF they were to break it off (at some point), I would like to be there..
Dude, no one here believes that.


You DON'T respect her relationship with her man, otherwise you wouldn't be trying to wrangle a meet up with her when she's in town for one day.


You're hoping she's tempted, and that she will somehow follow through on meeting up, hoping you can talk her into it.


I will speculate that she's liking the attention, otherwise, she would've cut you off. But I'm also going to speculate that she's not going to follow up with a visit from you or to you, making that last minute decision to be faithful to her guy. And when that happens, she will drop you like a hot potato.


And so, to answer your question...no. You won't be able to have an ongoing friendship with her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-14-2018, 02:50 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,919 posts, read 7,687,854 times
Reputation: 16655
The answer is obvious.....you just don't want to accept it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2018, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in Europe
192 posts, read 109,500 times
Reputation: 143
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kolt View Post
Thanks for taking the time to really read my situation..

It feels like everything happened so fast, I haven't really stepped back to read the whole situation myself..
I did put myself in this situation, not arguing with that..

But you say it like she's about to have an affair, which she clearly states she do not want to do, but she would like a friendship, like we had before (well without the flirting/kissing etc..)

The way i interpret this situation, is that she might really just want a friendship, nothing else.

My mind is probably abit clouded by hope that some day we would find eachother..

So my conclusion so far, is that I just stop hoping for something more, and don't engage in a "friendship" with her..

It's a sad day..
I feel sorry for you, and I guess you've found the best answer for your dilemma...

It's too dangerous to continue to be friends with her, it's like a loose cannon.

You'll feel better at some point. Try to distract yourself with other things and your kids.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2018, 03:01 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 7,971,371 times
Reputation: 30753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kolt View Post
Pff, nevermind..

I assume you all have been in my situation, and just gave up on something that could be great (and right)..

I simply wanted to hear if someone had any advices for what to do in MY situation.

Quote:

"Do I try continue this friendship, or do I stay away from her for my own sake?"
"Do you think she wants to stay as good friends just to see what happens in the future?"

For YOUR sake? How about staying away from her for HER sake? Because...you know...you care for her so much.


Let's say her relationship with her guy IS hurting. What would you do? Be her knight in shining armor? Think about it. She's got kids, right? You plan to step up and help her with her kids? Being a single mom is pretty hard. Are you going to be her emotional and perhaps financial rock? Cause...you know...you care so much.


And you know if she breaks off with her guy for you, there's going to be a lot of bittneress on the guy's part. This will probably make life difficult for her and for the kids. You don't want that....do you? Cause...you know...you care so much.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2018, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,768 posts, read 11,979,989 times
Reputation: 30269
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
For YOUR sake? How about staying away from her for HER sake? Because...you know...you care for her so much.


Let's say her relationship with her guy IS hurting. What would you do? Be her knight in shining armor? Think about it. She's got kids, right? You plan to step up and help her with her kids? Being a single mom is pretty hard. Are you going to be her emotional and perhaps financial rock? Cause...you know...you care so much.


And you know if she breaks off with her guy for you, there's going to be a lot of bittneress on the guy's part. This will probably make life difficult for her and for the kids. You don't want that....do you? Cause...you know...you care so much.
Not to mention that he has two kids with another girl himself. Definitely sounds like a situation a parent should get into...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2018, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,074 posts, read 11,763,134 times
Reputation: 30347
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27 View Post
You're in love with a woman in a relationship...

What could go wrong?


Right, she is NOT available.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2018, 07:45 PM
 
Location: SoCal
20,160 posts, read 12,701,021 times
Reputation: 16993
I would wouldn’t take it any further. Quit cold turkey. No friendship, nothing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2018, 08:37 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,853 posts, read 35,059,126 times
Reputation: 22694
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kolt View Post

I would love any tips for what to do in my situation :/
Do I try continue this friendship, or do I stay away from her for my own sake?
Do you think she wants to stay as good friends just to see what happens in the future?
I have not read the other replies, but I know from experience that all the "holier than thous" are going to mount their high horse and chastise and berate you for having feelings for this person.

Mycadvice is to be friends for now and see where it goes. Be patient. If its meant to be, you'll know it.

Best of luck.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2018, 08:39 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,853 posts, read 35,059,126 times
Reputation: 22694
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Bear View Post
Life is short.


Keep all doors open.


Walk through those where life beckons.


If you want this enough, you will make it happen.


Everyone has drama in their lives. Don't fall for the holier than thou stuff. When someone leaves footprints in your heart, you have to see where they go.
Right on. The voice of a romantic and true believer. I'd hug you if I could.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2018, 08:53 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,919 posts, read 7,687,854 times
Reputation: 16655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Bear View Post
Life is short.


Keep all doors open.


Walk through those where life beckons.


If you want this enough, you will make it happen.


Everyone has drama in their lives. Don't fall for the holier than thou stuff. When someone leaves footprints in your heart, you have to see where they go.
So what about the bf?

Should he suffer at the hands of other people's selfishness?

How about...

Life is short...don't treat people like crap in order to get what you want.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top