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Honestly Facebook is a 500 times better dating site than any dating site out there, IF you use it properly. You establish friends over time and some will start to grow an attraction to you. You just can't cold message people, that never works.
It really is, however....I can understand how woman are tired of guys, using facebook as a dating site. I mean...when you get unsoliciated pics in your inbox, upteen dozen times, I'd get tired of it too (if I were a woman) and I have seen more than one woman, say that they are tired of guys using facebook as a dating site and point blank say, facebook is NOT a dating site.
It really is, however....I can understand how woman are tired of guys, using facebook as a dating site. I mean...when you get unsoliciated pics in your inbox, upteen dozen times, I'd get tired of it too (if I were a woman) and I have seen more than one woman, say that they are tired of guys using facebook as a dating site and point blank say, facebook is NOT a dating site.
Well, you could say that about any environment you enter (not meant for dating). The gym, the beach, the flea market, the grocery store, house party,...also Facebook, etc.
But like I said, I typically use the mutual friend rule, like 5 or so mutual friends would be my own rule of thumb to strike up a conversation with someone. Or, like I said...the common interests groups.
Well, you could say that about any environment you enter (not meant for dating). The gym, the beach, the flea market, the grocery store, house party,...also Facebook, etc.
But like I said, I typically use the mutual friend rule, like 5 or so mutual friends would be my own rule of thumb to strike up a conversation with someone. Or, like I said...the common interests groups.
"Well, you could say that about any environment you enter (not meant for dating). The gym, the beach, the flea market, the grocery store, house party,...also Facebook, etc."
I think someone like this should probably not do online dating then.
I disagree, he is just most likely a private person and not want his picture for all to see and possibly download. If I were on a dating site, I might do the same. Not put out my picture until I have established communication, then I would send a picture.
I don't think that as being weird or even different, just cautious.
I have seen more than one woman, say that they are tired of guys using facebook as a dating site and point blank say, facebook is NOT a dating site.
Yeah, I've gotten a few Friend requests from good-looking guys who have no other friends (one had a bunch of friends but they all had Middle Eastern names and I'm not Middle Eastern and neither was his name). The most interesting was a nice-looking guy in a military uniform, which appeared just after I changed my status to "single" (I'm actually widowed but that really brings out the predators). I put his picture in Google images and it was from an article in the Toronto Globe and Mail from a few years ago- real guy, real military. I suspect someone used his picture and info to create a fake account in his name. Pretty sad.
It really is, however....I can understand how woman are tired of guys, using facebook as a dating site. I mean...when you get unsoliciated pics in your inbox, upteen dozen times, I'd get tired of it too (if I were a woman) and I have seen more than one woman, say that they are tired of guys using facebook as a dating site and point blank say, facebook is NOT a dating site.
Cold messaging never works, but common interest groups and seeing someone with lots of mutuals and asking something non threatening is OK in my opinion. I have met several women this way, primarily through common interest groups.
Yeah, some of the questions were acceptable, then other questions were really and highly intrusive, so I skipped over those...esp. the sexual ones...not sure why you'd want to make that public.
Of course, I've seen some women demand you have answered over at least 100 of those questions for her to respond to you. That's why I dumped that app. Not my style.
Yeah, I'm a sexually open person when I'm in love, but I need to fall in love first.
Plus, so many of the questions are not yes or no answers. There were a lot of them I felt I couldn't even answer because the answer was "it depends" 99% of the time. There are things I'd do with Guy A that I wouldn't be willing to do with Guy B. There are exceptions, but in general, I've found that every relationship has its own set of rules and boundaries, and you can't decide a lot of this stuff ahead of time.
Yeah, I'm a sexually open person when I'm in love, but I need to fall in love first.
Plus, so many of the questions are not yes or no answers. There were a lot of them I felt I couldn't even answer because the answer was "it depends" 99% of the time. There are things I'd do with Guy A that I wouldn't be willing to do with Guy B. There are exceptions, but in general, I've found that every relationship has its own set of rules and boundaries, and you can't decide a lot of this stuff ahead of time.
Don't ever let an LTR or husband know that he was someone you didn't do something with, that is horrible for the fragile male ego.
... But I would absolutely not feel comfortable answering some of Okcupid's compatibility questions with my picture and identity known. I can't believe the information people are comfortable putting out there. Stuff about kinks, turn ons, etc. I've decided to just avoid answering any such questions because that's not the sort of thing I even want potential dates knowing right off the bat, let alone random people I have no interest in dating. Maybe this isn't the case with OP's person, but if someone did answer the sexual questions, I could totally understand why they'd want their identity to remain hidden.
I agree. OKC leaves no mystery, if you answer those questions. I answered about 300 and thought I was foolish for doing so. But another poster here said she and or her eventual partner answered 1000's.
I don't think there's anything embarrassing about having pics on a dating app and a basic profile, but I would absolutely not feel comfortable answering some of Okcupid's compatibility questions with my picture and identity known. I can't believe the information people are comfortable putting out there. Stuff about kinks, turn ons, etc. I've decided to just avoid answering any such questions because that's not the sort of thing I even want potential dates knowing right off the bat, let alone random people I have no interest in dating. Maybe this isn't the case with OP's person, but if someone did answer the sexual questions, I could totally understand why they'd want their identity to remain hidden.
I met my current partner on OKCupid and was a bit appalled at how um,"in-depth" so many of the questions were. I'm pretty open sexually, but there's no way that I'd share that factoid, let alone details with perfect strangers. Partially because it might attract the wrong element, partly because it creates expectations (there are things that I'd do with some men, but not with others. There's no predictability to that--it just is there or it's not.) Part of the fun of getting to know someone both in and out of the bedroom are the random little discoveries. Answering too many of those questions sucks all of the fun out of that aspect of dating a new person.
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