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I would stop meeting or dating others once we agreed to be exclusive and established what that meant. I sometimes dated poly women, so we could still date (and have sex with) others, but would have to divulge that we were doing so. It is never good to assume that you are exclusive, even after months of sex and dating - discuss what you are to each other, so there are no misunderstandings.
I don’t understand why the OP needs this board to justify what he is set on doing. So what? Are you trying to prove that women have a different opinion on this than men? You can see that’s not the case.
Go ahead and get with this second woman. It doesn’t matter what anyone else believes. This is your life, your weenie. Stop playing the martyr.
I think he's trying to humblebrag and justify his cruddy behavior. His threads follow a distinct pattern:
He talks about how he has no problem with girls liking him or getting them to sleep with him. Then comes here with a "problem" and acts "confused,"as if he doesn't understand emotion, when that person isn't behaving in a way that's convenient for him. When people don't fall for it and call him out on being inconsiderate, he gets defensive. "You don't know my situation...cluck, cluck, cluck." It seems this validates him some kind of way.
If you haven't agreed to be exclusive, then you are not exclusive. Sometimes people assume things. Do you have reason to think she is assuming things? Not that that matters, and I'm a woman by the way. It's only been 2 months, if she has any feelings for you, she will get over it.
The only thing you might ask yourself is if you would be okay with it if she was the one planning on meeting someone else during this stage of your relationship.
But if you want to see other people, now is the time to do it, not after another six months of dating this woman.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by E-Twist
If you haven't agreed to be exclusive, then you are not exclusive. Sometimes people assume things. Do you have reason to think she is assuming things? Not that that matters, and I'm a woman by the way. It's only been 2 months, if she has any feelings for you, she will get over it.
The only thing you might ask yourself is if you would be okay with it if she was the one planning on meeting someone else during this stage of your relationship.
But if you want to see other people, now is the time to do it, not after another six months of dating this woman.
OP, if the woman you're currently sleeping with had told you she doesn't have sex without exclusivity, what would you have done? Would have have continued to date her, until you decided if she was the one for you, or would you have dropped her, and moved on to look for an easier mark?
Inquiring minds want to know.
That depends on when in our relationship she asked. I would have held off having sex or broke it off. Again, depends on when she asked.
If that's true, and you feel you're both on the same page in that regard, then you should have no qualms in telling her, that you're planning a first date with a new woman off OLD. Since she's (according to your understanding) ok with it, you have no reason to hold back that information.
She’s welcome to ask if I am dating someone else. I’m not going to just tell her. And I never ask if girls I’m dating are dating anyone else. They have the right to until we are exclusive and talked about it.
She’s welcome to ask if I am dating someone else. I’m not going to just tell her. And I never ask if girls I’m dating are dating anyone else. They have the right to until we are exclusive and talked about it.
Glad you clarified that you're not going to initiate any discussions, and seek others behind the back of the woman you're dating regularly and sleeping with. Didn't see that one coming at all.
She’s welcome to ask if I am dating someone else. I’m not going to just tell her. And I never ask if girls I’m dating are dating anyone else. They have the right to until we are exclusive and talked about it.
I think what's tripping a few of us up here is, if you feel this is all right and correct and logical and that she "knows" you're not exclusive, why do you feel guilty, why do you bring up (to us) exclusivity and so on? I think it sounds like there's a little more to all this and that you know you're leading her on, but are trying to "legalese" your way out of it (so to speak).
You brought all this up for a reason. You feel guilt for a reason. You feel unduly defensive for a reason and you quickly rearranged your OP for a reason. Figure out that reason and then do the right thing rather than seek to tell abbreviated, later edited stories looking for "oh, it's fine" responses so you can feel justified about it.
This is the main problem with OLD. Everybody is afraid to commit because someone better may come along tomorrow on the dating site.
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Inquiring minds want to know.
