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That sounds like a copput. Surely there are some common characteristics.
It's not. My idea of a good catch isn't going to be another's. Sure, there are your garden variety positive traits and characteristics, but again, how those traits are defined and the ways in which they manifest in an individual, are going to vary, a lot. Some can say nice, kind, good-hearted, but that doesn't mean they're nice based on how I define those traits. Those things can mean a lot of different things, just like "values" means something different to different people.
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Originally Posted by Auraliea
And that is why i'm so glad people are able to choose what type of life they want to live. If that's how you feel, fine. But nobody here is going to feel any type of way if you choose not to participate.
Why do I believe the things I do? I believe in God and the Bible, I believe in tradition and order. I believe upending society the way you suggest would damage the social order in a severe way. Families are held together by marriage. I believe it is sad that you believe promiscuous lifestyles are ok. I also find it sad that you believe marriage is some kind of negative institution designed to keep women down. Without marriage what will bind people together? Will baby daddy’s replace the family? Will one night stands replace what marriage can give? Will promiscuous behavior make people happier than belonging to a family? What will happen to society when everyone is just out for a good time? If this is the way western civilization is going then western civilization has a very short future. I don’t believe the Eastern world is infected with this type of thinking, maybe they will be the leading civilization when we dissolve in our decadence and social decay.
I'm sorry dude, but you are thumping the Bible to people who are mostly not religious in any devout way. (That's my perception of America.)
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Originally Posted by Petunia 100
If "belonging to a family" will make people happier than "promiscuous behaviour" , then that is what people will choose to do. After all, people like to be happy.
IMO much of marital infidelity is caused by unhappiness or dissatisfaction at home.
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Originally Posted by Auraliea
I just love how some people in here love to go on about the good old days, as if that was some how better than today. Some of the guys here have no idea. And the poster I quoted is simply talking out of fear and quite frankly ignorance because the world is doing what its supposed to do. Which is change. He's no better than the generation he's complaining about or the generation before them. Every generation has its pros and cons. Also "normal" is a subjective term.
I'm sure the 'good old days' phenomenon has been discussed in CD-Psychology, and was covered somewhere in my Psych classes.
We remember things by revisiting the old memories, thereby reinforcing them. We tend to revisit pleasant memories more often than unpleasant ones. That causes selective reinforcement of pleasant memories and weakening of unpleasant memories. Keep doing that and you have a rosy feeling about your past because your memory is focused more on your good memories.
In reality probably the past, present, and future are about the same. There weren't any good old days, except for a few lucky people who had better circumstances back then.
Another thing about the "South," is it's not as pristine and holy as Daniel is making it out to be. I live in the south and how people condone relationships is insane to me. People stay in messed up relationships because it "looks good." There is also the toxic mindset of graduating high school, getting married, and having babies before they even get a formal education. It's so backwards down here. People are so concerned about having husbands and wives before they even establish themselves.
Not to mention some of the most "devout" people are the biggest sexual deviants and they are not normal by any means. Just because it looks good, doesn't mean it is good. A lot of good southern folks are hypocrites. All this talk about how society is going to crap because people are being honest with themselves about who they are and making decisions based off of what they want, is ridiculous. It makes me wonder have people who think that have left their doorstep.
Being overtly traditional may have worked back then because the environment suited it. But society and the environment has evolved. Its time for us to as well.
I'm sorry dude, but you are thumping the Bible to people who are mostly not religious in any devout way. (That's my perception of America.)
IMO much of marital infidelity is caused by unhappiness or dissatisfaction at home.
I'm sure the 'good old days' phenomenon has been discussed in CD-Psychology, and was covered somewhere in my Psych classes.
We remember things by revisiting the old memories, thereby reinforcing them. We tend to revisit pleasant memories more often than unpleasant ones. That causes selective reinforcement of pleasant memories and weakening of unpleasant memories. Keep doing that and you have a rosy feeling about your past because your memory is focused more on your good memories.
In reality probably the past, present, and future are about the same. There weren't any good old days, except for a few lucky people who had better circumstances back then.
The problem is a certain segment of guys isn't reminiscing about the good old days of the 50's because they weren't even alive in the 80's. They're nostalgic for something they never experienced based on what seems to be TV shows set in the 50's where white men had it all. This is only an online phenomenon amongst a small faction of emotionally stunted folks.
Another thing about the "South," is it's not as pristine and holy as Daniel is making it out to be. I live in the south and how people condone relationships is insane to me. People stay in messed up relationships because it "looks good." There is also the toxic mindset of graduating high school, getting married, and having babies before they even get a formal education. It's so backwards down here. People are so concerned about having husbands and wives before they even establish themselves.
Not to mention some of the most "devout" people are the biggest sexual deviants and they are not normal by any means. Just because it looks good, doesn't mean it is good. A lot of good southern folks are hypocrites. All this talk about how society is going to crap because people are being honest with themselves about who they are and making decisions based off of what they want, is ridiculous. It makes me wonder have people who think that have left their doorstep.
Being overtly traditional may have worked back then because the environment suited it. But society and the environment has evolved. Its time for us to as well.
It must be hard living in the south with your values. Thank goodness this is a free country and you can move up north or out west where your values may fit in better. Clearly you hate the south, then again you could stay here and try and enlighten the rest of us savages
Yes many marry young (myself included) but what makes you think these marriages are unhappy? Most people I know are happily married. What is wrong with marrying before college or career? Who says you cannot pursue those things together as a married couple? What you don’t like is that young married people cannot pursue a life of bed hopping or sowing their wild oats. The idea that young folks could be happy without an extended adolescence into their 30s is a concept you just would not understand. You have been brainwashed by secular media, college professors and fellow brainwashed peers to believe the traditions your parents and grandparents were raised with are all wrong and that now this current generation knows more than everyone about how things should be. How arrogant of a generation to believe it knows more than 6 thousand years of human traditions that come before them. What you see as evolution I see as devolution. Change is not always good, in the case of what your calling for the change is not good. Marriage is good for society, family structures are the glue that holds society together.
I could never tolerate a modern woman who thinks like some of the posters in here. I hate to say it but I would be one of those people who chooses singldom if I had to deal with all this.
It must be hard living in the south with your values. Thank goodness this is a free country and you can move up north or out west where your values may fit in better. Clearly you hate the south, then again you could stay here and try and enlighten the rest of us savages
That's funny because you don't even know what my values are. Interesting. Never called anyone savages and I never said I hated the South. Just giving a realistic perspective of the good old South. You are the one who started making judgmental posts acting as if your way some how makes you better than other people who choose to live differently. You may have had success with your values, but remember it's because you willingly gravitated to people who confirm/submit to your views. In otherwords, you're surrounded by a bunch of yes men, that agree with everything you say. It doesn't make you right and it doesn't mean your path is the only way. Which is evidenced by your difficulty to comprehend what I'm saying.
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Yes many marry young (myself included) but what makes you think these marriages are unhappy? Most people I know are happily married. What is wrong with marrying before college or career? Who says you cannot pursue those things together as a married couple? What you don’t like is that young married people cannot pursue a life of bed hopping or sowing their wild oats.
Marrying young does not benefit people in my generation. Unless they go into the military. There are all sorts of new debts and inflation has created a nightmare for young families. Most if not all people I know who have married young are not happy. All they do is complain about having endless amounts of debt, being stressed about making it home for their small children, and working minimum wage jobs. Infidelity is also rampant in these relationships. Sounds like a great way to start a strong "family." Also I'm not sewing my wild oats, I am the exact opposite of "promiscuous," but thanks for making that ignorant assumption though. You're just confirming everything I'm saying.
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The idea that young folks could be happy without an extended adolescence into their 30s is a concept you just would not understand. You have been brainwashed by secular media, college professors and fellow brainwashed peers to believe the traditions your parents and grandparents were raised with are all wrong and that now this current generation knows more than everyone about how things should be. How arrogant of a generation to believe it knows more than 6 thousand years of human traditions that come before them. What you see as evolution I see as devolution. Change is not always good, in the case of what your calling for the change is not good. Marriage is good for society, family structures are the glue that holds society together.
You literally just cast a bunch of judgements on people of today based off of old standards that are not even relevant anymore, but I'm the arrogant one? That is hilarious. Stop contradicting yourself already. Your beliefs and values just shows you have not been anywhere in the world. If anyone has been indoctrinated its you. There are pros and cons to every choice. Living like the good old days is maladaptive and bound to put you in all sorts of messed up situations compared to 50 yrs ago. Time for you to get with the program sir. You're bothered by change because you're not used to it, plain and simple. Been under that rock of yours for way too long. Let me say this clearly: You are no better, no more important, and by no means any more right than people who choose to live differently than you. Get over it.
Why do I believe the things I do? I believe in God and the Bible, I believe in tradition and order. I believe upending society the way you suggest would damage the social order in a severe way. Families are held together by marriage. I believe it is sad that you believe promiscuous lifestyles are ok. I also find it sad that you believe marriage is some kind of negative institution designed to keep women down. Without marriage what will bind people together? Will baby daddy’s replace the family? Will one night stands replace what marriage can give? Will promiscuous behavior make people happier than belonging to a family? What will happen to society when everyone is just out for a good time? If this is the way western civilization is going then western civilization has a very short future. I don’t believe the Eastern world is infected with this type of thinking, maybe they will be the leading civilization when we dissolve in our decadence and social decay.
I don't personally believe in promiscuity at all. If you read my post history, you'll likely come across me talking about how I've been celibate for years. I'm waiting for the right person. But that's ME. Why should my personal spiritual morals apply to anyone else? I'm not better or more pure or more godly because I choose to live this way. I choose to live this way because it makes me happy. If being promiscuous makes some people happy, more power to them!
You act like I said I wanted to make marriage illegal. I simply am saying we shouldn't pressure young people into thinking marriage/kids is some goal they need to accomplish. Do you know all the miserable and depressed people I've come across who hated themselves because they had failed to make that goal? Do you know what a waste of a beautiful individual life that is? A person does not need another person to be complete. They most certainly don't need to become a parent. They should marry if they fall in love and desire to, and they should have kids if they desire to, and that's all there is to it.
And do you not see the massive gray area between everyone in society having one-night stands and everyone who remains single being looked down upon or viewed as a spinster, a failure etc? I don't think one-night stands are good for people either--but my opinion doesn't matter. I don't get to decide what's right for someone else.
Literally all I'm saying is we should accept people for who they are and how they choose to live. Marriage doesn't happen for everyone. That isn't up for debate. It's a fact. So as a society, let's stop viewing marriage as the standard thing that happens to everyone in their lives. You might WANT it to be the standard, but it's NOT. If it was, everyone would find someone and marry. But they don't.
And for the record, some of the happiest families I know are not married. So, it's clearly not necessary to hold society together. What does that say about your view of society if you believe legally binding government contracts are needed to keep people loving and treating each other well?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100
If "belonging to a family" will make people happier than "promiscuous behaviour" , then that is what people will choose to do. After all, people like to be happy.
Exactly! We don't need to pressure people, we don't need to make people who choose not to marry feel like failures, and we certainly don't need to freak out thinking that western society is falling just because some people choose to live their lives a different way. This world would be a much nicer place if we just accepted that there is a wide range of possible lifestyles, and that's in part what makes life so interesting.
Of course CD is not the real world. However I do watch the news and know there are plenty of women out there who are exactly like those we hear in here.
I say we should accept people for who they are, and this dude acts like I suggested the banning of all marriages followed immediately by the burning of all men at the stake.
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