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I don't know what you call sheeple, but I look at my peers, I'm mid 40s, and I see people travelling the world, politically engaged in their communities, playing in bands and creating art, having social networks, hiking, biking, long distance swimming, kayaking, snowshoing, skiiing, building businesses and non profits they are passionate about.
If that's considered being a sheople, well sign me up.
Did a lot of travel in youth, do it from time to time now when I run into REALLY good deals, I do create art, and I go cycling often, those aren't the things I'm speaking about.
Having a "social network/circle" does not interest me, it's not very rewarding plus it's mentally exhausting and overly complex for no good reason and no emotional payoff.
But I am speaking about the sheople who follow the dogma of "keeping up with the jonsez" and the misguided pursuit of "balance" as if every aspect of our lives has equal value.
my platonic friends are not on the same level as a romantic partner, neither does a job. and every other aspect of life can be tackled together(hence seeking a partner who enjoys the same things).
Did a lot of travel in youth, do it from time to time now when I run into REALLY good deals, I do create art, and I go cycling often, those aren't the things I'm speaking about.
Having a "social network/circle" does not interest me, it's not very rewarding plus it's mentally exhausting and overly complex for no good reason and no emotional payoff.
But I am speaking about the sheople who follow the dogma of "keeping up with the jonsez" and the misguided pursuit of "balance" as if every aspect of our lives has equal value.
my platonic friends are not on the same level as a romantic partner, neither does a job. and every other aspect of life can be tackled together(hence seeking a partner who enjoys the same things).
Cyphorx, I know a woman, mid-40s, that is quite the opposite as you. I don't think she has an off-button, but she's constantly posting stuff of herself doing things on FB. This includes bragging about how early she is up in the morning doing ariel silks at the gym compared to the rest of the population.
She says people have told her she's kind of a little too into herself. But she thinks she's inspiring others via FB.
Speaking of "Sharing the same things" She said she's single because she'd never have time to share with another man, EVEN if they share the exact same interests.
She's an avid mtn biker, so hits a well-known local trail...I asked her if she ever had dudes try to ask her out to do a biking date and she said she prefers alone time during that time, a time to "reflect" her "Me time". I thought it was kind of sad that she cannot even include a man in her passion.
SHe lives in a rural area, but then she said that she had a few friends die at a young age and she's constantly worried (FOMO) if she doesn't do EVERYTHING because life's too short. She's all over the place. She basically a social butter fly, souped up on ADD. All over the board. She's a social butter fly, but can't seem to nurture long term bonds.
Did a lot of travel in youth, do it from time to time now when I run into REALLY good deals, I do create art, and I go cycling often, those aren't the things I'm speaking about.
Having a "social network/circle" does not interest me, it's not very rewarding plus it's mentally exhausting and overly complex for no good reason and no emotional payoff.
But I am speaking about the sheople who follow the dogma of "keeping up with the jonsez" and the misguided pursuit of "balance" as if every aspect of our lives has equal value.
my platonic friends are not on the same level as a romantic partner, neither does a job. and every other aspect of life can be tackled together(hence seeking a partner who enjoys the same things).
You do understand, though, that to others, having close platonic friendships and family relationships are important. The likelihood that you are going to find that purple unicorn who is going to want to put her everything into a romantic relationship is next to nothing. It is simply not healthy, nor is it realistic to expect that when someone is 40+.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict
You do understand, though, that to others, having close platonic friendships and family relationships are important. The likelihood that you are going to find that purple unicorn who is going to want to put her everything into a romantic relationship is next to nothing. It is simply not healthy, nor is it realistic to expect that when someone is 40+.
Exactly. It's good that such a person is rare, as it isn't smart or healthy or wise.
Cyphoryx, you're pretty much going through a mid-life crisis. You want those 15-26 years back. There are things you can do that you did back then, but you'll soon realize that it's just not the same. Unfortunately, you can't go back to those years. Even if you find a mate with a similar outlook, it still won't be the same. That's just the way it works.
You talk negatively about sheople. I know your type. You think you're a rebel. You think you're an independent thinker. Here's the thing, dude: you're exactly the same as the sheople - except instead of always following, you always reject. That's the opposite of an independent thinker.
My advice is to expand your horizons. It's a big world out there; I'm certain there's plenty of stuff that will click with you if you allow yourself to get out of your current narrow mindset.
Yep, I just moved to a more rural area and the faces on the websites aren't changing a bit. Plus this area is more conservative than my previous city, which narrows the field a bit more.
I haven't given up on OLD completely, but the last two guys I communicated with ghosted on me. The last guy I went out with ghosted on me, and the guy before that was creepy so I stopped returning his texts. I guess that means I ghosted on him, which after only one date didn't seem like a big deal to me.
So I joined a hiking club, which is turning out to be 80% middle aged singles and 15% younger singles with the remaining being couples. We have a good time, although it is harder to hike in the winter. There may actually be a few prospects there............But I'm not holding my breath.
Cyphoryx, you're pretty much going through a mid-life crisis. You want those 15-26 years back. There are things you can do that you did back then, but you'll soon realize that it's just not the same. Unfortunately, you can't go back to those years. Even if you find a mate with a similar outlook, it still won't be the same. That's just the way it works.
I disagree, most of those years were good(15-21) because I had the freedoms(atleast most of them) of an adult without the responsibilities(21-26 I was happily married with a small child so that's the part I know I can't replicate) Today with my house paid for, and my daughter long grown, I have the freedoms of adulthood without most of the responsibilities, I don't have to slave away at a job I hate anymore(got my expenses waaay down) infact I have a low paying(covers my bills) very flexible job that affords me the time to actually enjoy a relationship(if I find one), much like in my youth when I drove pizza around 5 hours a night and would spend most of the next day hanging out with who ever I was dating at the time(except now we would not be hanging in a shoebox sized apartment with my 4 roommates and whoever they were dating or dragged home from a bar.)
Quote:
You talk negatively about sheople. I know your type. You think you're a rebel. You think you're an independent thinker. Here's the thing, dude: you're exactly the same as the sheople - except instead of always following, you always reject. That's the opposite of an independent thinker.
Not a rebel but I can be rebellious, I don't always reject, I only reject when something goes against my core personality or has more downsides than upsides(like the "keep up with the jonsez" mentality.)
Quote:
My advice is to expand your horizons. It's a big world out there; I'm certain there's plenty of stuff that will click with you if you allow yourself to get out of your current narrow mindset.
I've worn many hats throughout my life, I have always been open to new Ideas, but if those new ideas don't work or make other things worse even if they do work then they get rejected.
most of the advise given here I have tried.
1. try singles meetups = Tried that, they usually end up being "sausage parties" and a waste of time.
2. expand social circle = stressful and unrewarding and it seems most people I can get along with are in the same boat as me.
3. expand search radius = yes it does give me more options but why does it seem the most interested women seem to be at the very edge of the expanded radius? it's almost as if women prefer men to live hours away from them. I have dated long distance in the past and it does not work because we can never spend enough time together(and it feels like either a FWB or HOB type situation).
4. get 3 or 4 girlfriends so when one does not have time another will = Can't do it, the most valuable thing I have is "my word" I feel it sets me apart from other guys, which is why I don't cancel dates(when something else pops up) I hate how it feels when it happens to me so I would not inflict than on others.
5. get another job that pays more = most jobs that pay more tend to be more time demanding, yes the extra disposable income attracts more women, but I end up miserable because I can't spend much time with her because I'm ALWAYS WORKING!!! as the only thing lonelier than not having a partner is having a partner you hardly get to spend time with.
Orrrrr... just live life and be happy in the moment. Pursue what interests you and enjoy it. And maybe.... big maybe... you might meet someone along the way.
Orrrrr... just live life and be happy in the moment. Pursue what interests you and enjoy it. And maybe.... big maybe... you might meet someone along the way.
That's how you become a cat lady or a dog man.
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