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And again some of us don't like dealing with alot of people, some of us don't really like people in general even though we can love a person individually.
Uh huh, and as you claimed the online dating thing doesn't seem to be working for you. So you can keep on doing the same thing and complaining about it, or you can try something different. That's up to you. Relationships take effort. If the best effort you can make is limiting yourself to online dating within very specific parameters, then you're probably not going to have a lot of luck. I gave some suggestions to try and be helpful. Apparently you're not looking for that.
They key to "hitting on women" in public is to not hit on them. Just talk to them like you would anyone else. Talk to a woman just like you would any other human being you aren't interested in having sex with and be sincere. What women don't like is the whole, "I am approaching you with my line, hook and reel, thing." And to top it off, only a few men are actually good at that whole "fishing" approach anyway. Chances are, if you are one of them, you already know. If you don't know, you aren't one of them and come across as kind of cheesy and weird if you try to be something you aren't. You are better off being yourself, acting normal, and just treating women you meet like any other person seeing if things go anywhere. Also, don't expect to hit it off with most women.
As far as online dating goes. Yeah, a lot of those profiles are fake or dead. I know of people who stopped using dating sites and their profiles were still up long after they thought they quit (and sometimes it even said they had been active). There is some monkey business going on with OLD. That said, I was able to find someone with it. It took a while though and it took not being too picky. I just read profiles, looked at pictures, and made a snap judgement if I was interested or not. Kind of like you do in real life. You see a person, talk and get to know just a few things and then make a snap judgement if you are interested. I think the detail OLD provides makes a lot of people too picky where they wouldn't normally be in a face-to-face situation.
By the way, some women will put they have kids in their profiles even after the kids are grown up and out of the house. They still think of themselves as being moms and kids are still an important part of their lives even if it's just holidays and family get together. So even if you aren't interested in small kids in the house, filtering out kids might filter out some you aren't expecting. Just a tip.
As far as online dating goes. Yeah, a lot of those profiles are fake or dead. I know of people who stopped using dating sites and their profiles were still up long after they thought they quit (and sometimes it even said they had been active). There is some monkey business going on with OLD. That said, I was able to find someone with it. It took a while though and it took not being too picky. I just read profiles, looked at pictures, and made a snap judgement if I was interested or not. Kind of like you do in real life. You see a person, talk and get to know just a few things and then make a snap judgement if you are interested. I think the detail OLD provides makes a lot of people too picky where they wouldn't normally be in a face-to-face situation.
I recall a female friend trying to set me up with a woman that was single. She also had a profile on a dating site, but she said to just pull her friend up on her friends list and contact her that way. When I did this and introduced myself...I got no response.
I typed, "Hello"? Still nothing
I contacted her friend and said, "Hey, for some reason I'm not sure if she's got my message."
Her friend said, "Okay, I'll contact her and let you know if she got it."
A few days past and I asked her what was up...she said that her friend simply didn't find me attractive. I was kind of shocked, because I considered her my equal in looks. She was kind of chubby, average looking, but cute enough to date. There was something about her facial expressions that I liked...but I was all for at least meeting up with her. But...she was not and I thought, "Has she looked in a mirror lately?"
Unfortunately, some people expect something from a future prospect that they THEMSELVES cannot provide.
Quote:
By the way, some women will put they have kids in their profiles even after the kids are grown up and out of the house. They still think of themselves as being moms and kids are still an important part of their lives even if it's just holidays and family get together. So even if you aren't interested in small kids in the house, filtering out kids might filter out some you aren't expecting. Just a tip.
If they are grown, I'm cool with that. It's indeed a bonus if they had their kids early in life and they are in their early 40s and the kids are gone off to college.
I've heard complaints from 50-something women that they keep meeting men their ages that have elementary aged kids. That's an automatic deal breaker for them. These men get caught up in marriages with younger women, have kids with them, and like 3 or 4 years later...a divorce happens and they are stuck raising young children well into their 60s.
Simple - use fewer or less restrictive filters...increase the distance you're willing to travel. I won't address any possible personal issues you may have. But just from an app point, if you restrict yourself less, you get more "matches". Think outside your same old box.
They key to "hitting on women" in public is to not hit on them. Just talk to them like you would anyone else. Talk to a woman just like you would any other human being you aren't interested in having sex with and be sincere. What women don't like is the whole, "I am approaching you with my line, hook and reel, thing." And to top it off, only a few men are actually good at that whole "fishing" approach anyway. Chances are, if you are one of them, you already know. If you don't know, you aren't one of them and come across as kind of cheesy and weird if you try to be something you aren't. You are better off being yourself, acting normal, and just treating women you meet like any other person seeing if things go anywhere. Also, don't expect to hit it off with most women.
I handle that by just being social when out in public, not focusing on cute women my age but instead talking with anybody handy. It keeps my conversational mojo going and what I say doesn't sound like lines because I just say generic stuff to start off conversations. Checkout lines are great because everybody is bored.
Get off the dating sites and apps and start trying to meet women in person. You will feel much better about yourself and more likely have better results in finding what you want.
Uh huh, and as you claimed the online dating thing doesn't seem to be working for you. So you can keep on doing the same thing and complaining about it, or you can try something different. That's up to you. Relationships take effort. If the best effort you can make is limiting yourself to online dating within very specific parameters, then you're probably not going to have a lot of luck. I gave some suggestions to try and be helpful. Apparently you're not looking for that.
Actually online date DID work for me(at least for lining up dates) when it first came on the scene(hence I see a ton of ex's and one and dones as soon as I log in).
And I'm 48 so from my perspective online dating IS something different as my dating experience predates online dating.
And actually I did quite well at traditional dating back in the day, but after my divorce I found the rules of engagement had changed in a way that my previous natural strengths were useless.
Examples: 1. Women always seem to travel in groups now. yes there have always been women who roamed in herds, but even back when I did well going out I avoided those types and focused on that woman sitting alone at the bar. because my strength is in 1 on 1 interaction, I excel at it but that does me no good in the modern mingling environment. as people have gotten rude over the last few decades, I remember when if a guy and gal were talking and it appeared they were hitting it off people left them the hell alone!! as they did not want to mess it up for him/her(as in the first conversation the slightest thing can ruin the flow and spoil it for the one that is more hopeful the convo will lead to something as thy path from "she is slightly interested" to "she's into me" can often be a minefield that requires focus and concentration) in gaming terms it's the level right before the boss level, especially if you don't have the cheat codes(like obvious signs of wealth or winning the genetic lottery). These day in any social gathering or place people are constantly interrupting for non emergency reasons, and you end up looking like the bad guy for finally saying to the interloper "excuse me, we are having a conversation" it's like people don't have manners anymore poor home training I guess.
2. most places where singles gather quickly become a "sausage-fest". Most meetups and such targeted at singles, you show up and it's 50-FT of penis and only a handful of women most of whom are either gravitationaly challenged or they booked a babysitter before showing up to the event. the few who seem like catches are usually their with their boyfriends(I really wish they would find couples meetups once they pair off). for awhile I tried riding groups as I figured better odds that most of the women would be in shape atleast(and I cycle every other night anyway) and again most women at those things show up with boyfriends and a few had baby trailers attached to their bikes.
As bad as OLD is at least for now it's the lesser of 3 evils.
Unless some new way I have not tried comes around I guess I'm screwed.
OLD had so much potential before it got invaded by the typical playa's and serial daters(the only problem then was the ratio being 80% male but at least then most of the women that were there REALLY wanted relationships), it's like when your favorite indy band gets popular, signed to a major label and their music gets polished, watered down, over produced and simplified to be sold to a wider audience, it's the same awful feeling.
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poor home training I guess. 
