Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm sorry that you're going through this.Once a cheater always a cheater and just because she is dealing with cancer probably will not make her not cheat anymore once hopefully she beats this.The fact that she had stated to you that counseling is off the table...that is your answer.Even if she didn't have cancer...she wouldn't have gone with you to counseling.Can't make someone do something they don't want to do..even if they were at fault.
What you should do is still end the relationship because she has to only focus on her health at the moment now and nothing else.Added stress isn't good for her.Does she have any family members who can stay with her or that she can move in with?
You need to move away from this or you can put what she has done to you 100% out of your mind so that you can be a friend to her while she is going through this.
I'm sorry that you're going through this.Once a cheater always a cheater and just because she is dealing with cancer probably will not make her not cheat anymore once hopefully she beats this.The fact that she had stated to you that counseling is off the table...that is your answer.Even if she didn't have cancer...she wouldn't have gone with you to counseling.Can't make someone do something they don't want to do..even if they were at fault.
What you should do is still end the relationship because she has to only focus on her health at the moment now and nothing else.Added stress isn't good for her.Does she have any family members who can stay with her or that she can move in with?
You need to move away from this or you can put what she has done to you 100% out of your mind so that you can be a friend to her while she is going through this.
Stop being a chump. Move back out. You feel guilty and want to be supportive, that's fine. Do it from a distance. Until she has surgery or has other treatment she doesn't need your help. When the time comes you can drive her to the hospital or medical appointments. If she has family, let them do it. Like someone else said....do what you would do if she didn't have cancer. Unless you would be her doormat, in which case just keep on being a chump.
Stop being a chump. Move back out. You feel guilty and want to be supportive, that's fine. Do it from a distance. Until she has surgery or has other treatment she doesn't need your help. When the time comes you can drive her to the hospital or medical appointments. If she has family, let them do it. Like someone else said....do what you would do if she didn't have cancer. Unless you would be her doormat, in which case just keep on being a chump.
Leave......you know deep down that is what you want.
The cancer for her is a bummer but don't let that be the reason you stay. Like another posted, what would you be doing if she didn't have cancer?
As far as giving your word and keeping it...she broke that when she cheated. Besides, you can still be there for her but as a friend and not in a relationship. If after you leave she doen't want to be friends that walk away.
It’s a tough situation, I don’t know what to advice you. Deep down inside, I would like to kick these people when they’re down, but in real life I’m not sure I’m capable. Whatever you decide, make sure once this person recovers, don’t get involved with them again. They are not worth your time.
Since you decided to be "Captain Save-A-Ho" and take care of this girl, at least have options of your own, i.e., other women you date and have relationships with. She cannot possibly object (and if she does, so what). At least then you will not feel so cheated by the circumstances.
Since you decided to be "Captain Save-A-Ho" and take care of this girl, at least have options of your own, i.e., other women you date and have relationships with. She cannot possibly object (and if she does, so what). At least then you will not feel so cheated by the circumstances.
Unless the O.P.'s planning on moving out sooner rather than later, his dating/relationship options will likely be limited to women who'd be willing to involve themselves with all of this ready-made drama. There are always a few who are willing to do so, but they often come with a different set of trunks (not baggage).
He'd do best to move out, be present just enough to help his former girlfriend through her cancer treatments in order to keep his word, then move on.
we went to counciling once and the first thing she said was, I'm not going to deal with the past, only with the present and us going forward. therapist said, yes but if your boyfriend is in pain because of the past and having nightmares because of the past, both of those things are occurring in the present, and will have to be dealt with. I can't remember what my gf said but I'm sure it wasn't, okay let's do it!
thanks all for weighing in on this messy self-inflicted situation. it's helped me a bunch.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
