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You met the guy two weeks ago on-line and he told you he loves you? If you are considering traveling with someone you just met (and know absolutely nothing about), you are nuts.
No, at this point, he's not trustworthy. He could be married. If you want to pursue a relationship, I would get to know him and if he does not let you into his personal life, forget it.
F25, M26,
Met the guy two weeks ago online. Before we met, he would send me good morning, good night, texts me during lunch time, call me in the evening . First date was dinner(expensive steak place). Second date was movie and he bought me 2 dozen roses. After 2nd date he said he loves me, and wanted me to be his gf. I was in shock but i said yes. He still does all the texting and calling. But I have a bad feeling about him and feel like he may not be very trustworthy. The reasons are:
1. He is very good at talking, he talk about sweet things and future too much. He says "I miss you so much' everytime he calls me, but after the 2nd date he never set up a plan to see me. Two weekends have passed and I did not see him because he was working(I am not sure it is true). The only time he came to see me was he happened to be around my house. He got off work at 3pm on weekdays and he never came to see me. He would go to dinner with his friends. we are like 30min drive. He has a car, i don't.
he will always say oh baby, we might go travel to place A,B,C... oh, I will take you to restaurant A,B,C....But he never really makes any concrete plans. Every time we departs, he says "until next time, my dear, i will miss you".
2. Although he calls me everyday, he always calls me when he is driving and he never do video chats, I feel like i am just his entertainment.
3. He sent me a text of a love poem, I asked whether he wrote it, he said he just wrote it thinking of me. He was not good with words, but he was good with love words because he loves me. I then googled it, and found that he copied and pasted it from a website. Which makes me doubt about his personality. What other lies he told me?
4. he lives with his parents now and he said he lived alone before, now he is just trying to save money. But his parents are very traditional, so i cannot stay overnight. He wanted to buy me a foldable bed, so he can come over on friday and watch tv with me in my apartment. He said he wanted to spend more time with me.
5. I never met any of his friends or relatives. He said he had only one relationship before and the girl cheated on him. He's been single for three years now because he was busy.
6. He said yesterday that he went to the mall and bought me a "suuuper expensive' christmas gift. He said we would go travel in january so we can have more memories together.
7. we haven't had sex yet.
I don't know what to think of this, he comes on too strong and although he says he misses me , he doesn't make much effort to really see me. With him lying about the poem, Do you guys think he is trustworthy? What's his deal? Any input is much appreciated! Thanks
He lives with his parents because he's "trying to save money" yet he keeps spending money on you? Plans trips with someone who he doesn't really know? That's a horrible sign in and of itself, as flattering as you might find such behavior. Don't be surprised if he tries to weasel his way into living with you as soon as possible.
Trust your gut instincts and cut this guy loose. This guy has an agenda and it's highly unlikely to be for your benefit.
F25, M26,
Met the guy two weeks ago online. Before we met, he would send me good morning, good night, texts me during lunch time, call me in the evening . First date was dinner(expensive steak place). Second date was movie and he bought me 2 dozen roses. After 2nd date he said he loves me, and wanted me to be his gf. I was in shock but i said yes. He still does all the texting and calling. But I have a bad feeling about him and feel like he may not be very trustworthy. The reasons are:
1. He is very good at talking, he talk about sweet things and future too much. He says "I miss you so much' everytime he calls me, but after the 2nd date he never set up a plan to see me. Two weekends have passed and I did not see him because he was working(I am not sure it is true). The only time he came to see me was he happened to be around my house. He got off work at 3pm on weekdays and he never came to see me. He would go to dinner with his friends. we are like 30min drive. He has a car, i don't.
he will always say oh baby, we might go travel to place A,B,C... oh, I will take you to restaurant A,B,C....But he never really makes any concrete plans. Every time we departs, he says "until next time, my dear, i will miss you".
2. Although he calls me everyday, he always calls me when he is driving and he never do video chats, I feel like i am just his entertainment.
3. He sent me a text of a love poem, I asked whether he wrote it, he said he just wrote it thinking of me. He was not good with words, but he was good with love words because he loves me. I then googled it, and found that he copied and pasted it from a website. Which makes me doubt about his personality. What other lies he told me?
4. he lives with his parents now and he said he lived alone before, now he is just trying to save money. But his parents are very traditional, so i cannot stay overnight. He wanted to buy me a foldable bed, so he can come over on friday and watch tv with me in my apartment. He said he wanted to spend more time with me.
5. I never met any of his friends or relatives. He said he had only one relationship before and the girl cheated on him. He's been single for three years now because he was busy.
6. He said yesterday that he went to the mall and bought me a "suuuper expensive' christmas gift. He said we would go travel in january so we can have more memories together.
7. we haven't had sex yet.
I don't know what to think of this, he comes on too strong and although he says he misses me , he doesn't make much effort to really see me. With him lying about the poem, Do you guys think he is trustworthy? What's his deal? Any input is much appreciated! Thanks
"Which makes me doubt about his personality. What other lies he told me?"
To lie that he wrote you a poem is what you call a red flag. Believe what your instincts are telling you about having doubt. If someone loves you, why would they lie about anything?
"Love bombing" was my first thought as well. Men and women who behave like this target vulnerable people like our O.P.
She'd do best to run away from him as fast as her legs can carry her as the red flags that are waving in front of her face go far beyond a internet purloined poem. There are plenty of better options out there for her--especially at her age. She just needs to learn to heed her instincts. A woman's intuition is a powerful tool when properly utilized rather than ignored in favor of hearing what one want to hear.
Telling you he loves you after 2 dates is the red flag. I would be running far away from this. He is laying it on way too thick and something is off. He is trying to reel you in for whatever reason. Perhaps he is abusive, or controlling, or will try to isolate you from your friends and family. I don't know, but this isn't normal behaviour at all. I would end this before something bad happens.
Last edited by canadiangirl_2015; 12-03-2018 at 08:32 AM..
"Love bombing" was my first thought as well. Men and women who behave like this target vulnerable people like our O.P.
She'd do best to run away from him as fast as her legs can carry her as the red flags that are waving in front of her face go far beyond a internet purloined poem. There are plenty of better options out there for her--especially at her age. She just needs to learn to heed her instincts. A woman's intuition is a powerful tool when properly utilized rather than ignored in favor of hearing what one want to hear.
Unfortunately, she doesn't have good instincts. The guy already knows where she lives. NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVERRRRRRRRRR let someone you just met know where you live. She should have met him in a public place. After two weeks, he still should not know where she lives and certainly not be permitted to come into her home. Judging from some of her other posts, she is a very confused person. Hopefully, she'll come back and let us know how she is doing with this situation.
A full-court press to get you into a relationship is a big red flag, a trait common of domestic abusers.
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