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personally,If i am getting dressed and getting my hair done,and putting on makeup the guy should pay for dinner.
That is a waste of time. I could sit in my house in that case.
He is paying for your time.
I can see that.
I want to pay because I feel good when I'm allowed to be nice and feels good too when reciprocated on a subsequent date.
And I know it's not exactly the same thing, but between an unforgiving barber and dry cleaners, I'm paying $40-45 before I meet you too. So it's not exactly cost less for us either.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u
It is...
personally,If i am getting dressed and getting my hair done,and putting on makeup the guy should pay for dinner.
That is a waste of time. I could sit in my house in that case.
He is paying for your time.
If I'm paying for someone's time, I'm in effect paying for a hooker. No thanks. Not interested.
Also don't care about a woman putting on make up, or "doing her hair". She is doing that for her, not me, and that's her right, but if I ask someone out, I'm interested in them as a person (or trying to figure out if I am), not stuff like that.
I attempt to pay, most times the guy will take the check. If we've gone out a few times and I only feel friendly vibes towards you, I will pay to ensure that mixed messages are not being sent. If I feel more than friendly vibes, I will pay a few times also, just to be equitable. However I think the person that does the inviting should pay. Though, when I have asked a guy out, and I attempt to pay for everything, they usually pay.
Overall, I don't think it's a big deal. Most guys I date know I have my own money so it's more of a chivalrous act than anything else. And I appreciate that. I'm a generous person so if things progress, everything will eventually even out.
If I'm paying for someone's time, I'm in effect paying for a hooker. No thanks. Not interested.
Also don't care about a woman putting on make up, or "doing her hair". She is doing that for her, not me, and that's her right, but if I ask someone out, I'm interested in them as a person (or trying to figure out if I am), not stuff like that.
I couldn't agree more. Too bad I can't rep you. And if a woman wants to dress up for me, I'm all for it, but that's still on her. I'm more than fine with a "straight from work" look. (Well, unless it's a Streets and Sanitation job or something.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueLuce
I attempt to pay, most times the guy will take the check. If we've gone out a few times and I only feel friendly vibes towards you, I will pay to ensure that mixed messages are not being sent. If I feel more than friendly vibes, I will pay a few times also, just to be equitable. However I think the person that does the inviting should pay. Though, when I have asked a guy out, and I attempt to pay for everything, they usually pay.
In the last few years before "retiring" from dating, I paid for a woman only two circumstances: if she drove for a long time, or if she drove in really nasty weather. It's my way of rewarding her for going out of her way to meet me. But even so, all my meal-type dates cost a grand total of less than $10, like the ice cream (summer) or tea and pastries (winter) I mentioned earlier.
To make matters easier, those places are almost always counter service. In which case, I let my date go in front of me, under the pretext of "ladies first" or "I'm still torn between lemon and raspberry". Then, when it was time to pay, the cashier rang her up first, rather ass-u-me I'm paying for two people. Was it chivalrous? No way. But being close to "retiring" from dating, I didn't really care at that point.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Oh, don't get me wrong. I like picking up the tab when I can (and they'll let me, which they often won't). I did so last night, a big whopping $34 with tip for a couple of beers. Big spenda. But I was not obligated to, I did it because I wanted to and it makes me feel good. She also said I'll get next time. Whatever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueLuce
Overall, I don't think it's a big deal. Most guys I date know I have my own money so it's more of a chivalrous act than anything else. And I appreciate that. I'm a generous person so if things progress, everything will eventually even out.
It is not a big deal, and yea it evens out. Like a lot of things on this forum, they seem to only be an issue on this forum.
Also don't care about a woman putting on make up, or "doing her hair". She is doing that for her, not me, and that's her right, but if I ask someone out, I'm interested in them as a person (or trying to figure out if I am), not stuff like that.
And I'd assume that if it's a date date, that he would have dressed for the occasion and not show up in sweaty workout clothes fresh from the gym or whatever. As a woman, my putting on a date outfit doesn't entitle me to special treatment beyond everyone being on their best date behavior.
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