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Old 12-10-2018, 08:10 PM
 
Location: near Fire Station 6
987 posts, read 774,265 times
Reputation: 852

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Dude, if she like you she will let you know.
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Old 12-10-2018, 08:29 PM
 
8,085 posts, read 5,223,001 times
Reputation: 22685
Quote:
Originally Posted by lostsoul359 View Post
Dude, if she like you she will let you know.
This x 1000. I don't understand what is so difficult to understand. Very few women (I am a woman) are going to keep it a secret so all theses bizarre plans, "styles" etc. are useless.

Last edited by LLCNYC; 12-10-2018 at 09:59 PM..
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Old 12-10-2018, 08:34 PM
 
123 posts, read 66,047 times
Reputation: 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
I don’t know ways to show that I’m interested in a woman beyond simply asking her out. I’m friendly and chatty with everyone regardless of whether I’m attracted to them. And that’s good...I don’t pick someone to talk to just because I like them. But I don’t know how to send signals of interest to someone I am interested in, or even if I should.
Use emojis when you text. Wink
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Old 12-10-2018, 08:43 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,920 posts, read 7,692,289 times
Reputation: 16655
Stop thinking of it as a step by step equation. You're just going to make yourself (and others) feel uncomfortable.

Do you think most people in relationships willingly targeted others and decided "I want a relationship with that person,"? Relationships and connections are a result of being social. You can't plan or calculate this stuff.

If you like someone or are attracted to them, ask them out. All there is to it.

Last edited by Auraliea; 12-10-2018 at 08:55 PM..
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Old 12-10-2018, 08:53 PM
 
Location: near Fire Station 6
987 posts, read 774,265 times
Reputation: 852
Women usually give either a green light or a red light, sometimes a yellow.
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Old 12-10-2018, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Traveling
7,023 posts, read 6,256,024 times
Reputation: 14683
Use what works with any person. Ask about their interests to see if there's a common ground. Get them to talk about themselves. Find that common ground so you can relate to each other as people, not just male and female.

Once that's opened up, you'll be surprised at how easy it is to move ahead.
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Old 12-10-2018, 09:48 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,125 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115942
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
First paragraph is dead on. During a date, that's one. I was weak on that on my lone date. I didn't feel any interest from her, so I was nervous to show anything. But also how to show interest beyond being friends...in a socially acceptable way.


Definitely over-thinking. But "doing what comes naturally to me"...never has worked. I am not a naturally attractive person. I'm polite, friendly, and learning to be conversational. But I am not charming, swoon-worthy, smooth, or interesting. No one has ever escalated with me. Maybe I need to express something first? Maybe I'd also come off like a creep. I've read many threads (elsewhere) and articles from women complaining about being hit on by guys they're not interested in but that's a risk I've got to learn to take. Maybe asking for flirting techniques would be more in line with my reason for asking? I'm working whatever personality and strengths I have just to be conversational and social...beyond that I don't see what I can do to communicate interest.
It's impossible to charm someone, who has shut down, like your date did. For whatever reason, she didn't really want to be on that date. Just write it off, write her off, and move on.

Can you relax, and be kind of fun, do you have a humorous side? A kind side? An intellectual side? Granted, it's easier to discover one's "side", when with a more receptive person. How about when you're with your buddies, hanging out and relaxed? Are you funny? What do you like to talk about? What "side" emerges, in those circumstances? (Hopefully not a raunchy, puerile side. Oh well. Never mind... )

P.S. RE: your video, OP, it's a movie. Remember, everything is staged. The phrase, "kids, don't try this at home" applies here.

For another one, you could check out the sequel to The Gods Must Be Crazy. There's an anthropologist in it, who gets so nervous around women, that he becomes insanely clumsy. This appears to put the visiting female scientist (or whoever she is, I don't remember) off at first, especially when a smooth tour guide rescues her, when the anthro's car breaks down. But later, she finds his clumsiness and embarrassment endearing. At least he's sincere and heartfelt, while Smooth Guy is more of a pick-up type.

It makes a nice story, but remember: it's entertainment. It's fiction. But it's still a goofy, fun film. . And sometimes in real life, the dorky, but sweet guys do finish first.
{Dons flame-proof suit.}

Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 12-10-2018 at 10:06 PM..
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Old 12-11-2018, 04:07 AM
 
3,926 posts, read 2,023,826 times
Reputation: 2768
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
One thing, if you're not being authentic, you will definitely come off as a creep. I guess what you can do is read about different techniques and even watch them in action somehow and then find a technique that works for you. But the most important thing is you.

I could say "be yourself", but that phrase is pretty much taboo. So I'll say be authentic. Also, a lot of people don't really know themselves so how could they be themselves and move towards their goals? The first thing to do is learn about yourself, your interests, what you respond to, etc. Once you figure out who you are, then work on cultivating that.

I'll say it this way. Like what you like because you like it, not because the group that gets the "hot girls" enjoys it.

The only technique that I can think about is meeting tons of people and building your circle.

But all the techniques aside, there is one thing you have to realize. Romance is not guaranteed for anyone. You are going to have to do the work to appreciate yourself and your life without romance. Even if you do get it, the worst thing you can do is hang your sense of (can't think of term) on romance.

I know not everyone has to do the work to "find themselves". But consider yourself fortunate, if you are willing and able to do the work, you may find yourself at peace and appreciative of your life even without a relationship.

Learn to appreciate who you are going to be with the most.
I saw this thread start yesterday, and it only had one response "what?" I had to chuckle, because this is falling into the PUA realm about "how to create attraction". Tons of blogs about this stuff as well as message board threads (sosuave). As if you have a love potion or something. Creating gold from lead, etc.

You cannot really create attraction, it's either there or it's not once she interacts with you. There's nothing you can "create"...and yes, it's not being authentic.
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Old 12-11-2018, 04:19 AM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,606,283 times
Reputation: 12334
That scene in Jurassic park was uncomfortable to watch. I don’t think she was attracted to him at all. She was just interested in the science and wanted to hear about it.
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Old 12-11-2018, 04:28 AM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,913,090 times
Reputation: 15255
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Why do you have to? I really don't understand. If you're interested, ask them out. If not, don't. Pretty simple.
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length;53846971[B
]I don’t know ways to show that I’m interested in a woman beyond simply asking her out. [/b] I’m friendly and chatty with everyone regardless of whether I’m attracted to them. And that’s good...I don’t pick someone to talk to just because I like them. But I don’t know how to send signals of interest to someone I am interested in, or even if I should.
Do you even read what he is asking Timberline?!

Listen OP, if you like them then the easiest and most effective way is to smile, walk up and introduce yourself.

If she likes you then you will tell by how she responds.
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