Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Please don't chase wimen. Chasing puts you behind the eight ball. If she wants to see you she'll make it easy. She'll be the one to say where she's gonna be at and you just show up.
Don't have dinner with her. She'll think it's an invite and go because she'll think it's a free meal.
She contacted you once. Just kick back and see if she contacts you some more. SHE rejected you once, SHE is the one that has to prove that you won't be wasting your time seeing her.
You are coming from a place of neediness. You're already giving up your power by putting her on that pedestal. Make her prove her worth to you. Not the other way around. YOU are the prize to be worked for. Never her.
Since she rejected you once, it is up to her to prove she regretted that decision. By chasing her you'll never be sure why she's contacting you again.
Please don't chase wimen. Chasing puts you behind the eight ball. If she wants to see you she'll make it easy. She'll be the one to say where she's gonna be at and you just show up.
Don't have dinner with her. She'll think it's an invite and go because she'll think it's a free meal. She contacted you once. Just kick back and see if she contacts you some more. SHE rejected you once, SHE is the one that has to prove that you won't be wasting your time seeing her.
You are coming from a place of neediness. You're already giving up your power by putting her on that pedestal. Make her prove her worth to you. Not the other way around. YOU are the prize to be worked for. Never her.
Since she rejected you once, it is up to her to prove she regretted that decision. By chasing her you'll never be sure why she's contacting you again.
Agree with all the bolded. Good, sensible advice, OP.
Please don't chase wimen. Chasing puts you behind the eight ball. If she wants to see you she'll make it easy. She'll be the one to say where she's gonna be at and you just show up.
Don't have dinner with her. She'll think it's an invite and go because she'll think it's a free meal.
She contacted you once. Just kick back and see if she contacts you some more. SHE rejected you once, SHE is the one that has to prove that you won't be wasting your time seeing her.
You are coming from a place of neediness. You're already giving up your power by putting her on that pedestal. Make her prove her worth to you. Not the other way around. YOU are the prize to be worked for. Never her.
Since she rejected you once, it is up to her to prove she regretted that decision. By chasing her you'll never be sure why she's contacting you again.
All of this.
OP if a woman is making things tough for you, she's not the woman for you. A woman who likes won't play games with you and she'll make things quite easy.
Some women may want you to show you are really interested and work at it a bit. of course she may have just been busy. One of my daughters had a guy ask her out eight times and she was busy all but the last time. She was no testing him, she was not disinterested, she was just busy.
If she simply said no, that is another story - give up. Even if she eventually says yes, do you want to be the boyfriend that she does not really want?
Saying "no" may mean just not now, not this time. If she says "never", forget her. Also depends what you are asking her. Dinner at 8? "no" <--that might mean just this time
Saying "no" may mean just not now, not this time. If she says "never", forget her. Also depends what you are asking her. Dinner at 8? "no" <--that might mean just this time
The OP said, she was in a relationship, and just got out of it. We don't know the timeline of it all, but "no" could mean, "I have a bf", or "I have my eye on a potential future bf".
Saying "no" may mean just not now, not this time. If she says "never", forget her. Also depends what you are asking her. Dinner at 8? "no" <--that might mean just this time
Still, don't hold your breath. If she says no and it really means not right now, the ball is in her park to decide when. If she doesn't, then this likely means not in the foreseeable future. One thing you don't want is to just hang around in orbit in hopes that she'll come around, especially if she has others that she prefers and is running with. What you do is just move your interest to some others of your own.
Even if "some day, she'll realize you're the one", why wait around for her to be finished playing the field? Do some playing for yourself.
If she said I'm busy and does not make any effort to set a time to meet you, then chances are she'd not interested in going out with you.
I used to be in that mode of romantic hypotheticals, but I learned it does me no good. If a woman says no, just move on, if she says no for any reason, move to the next. No reason to get hung up on one if you've just met them, even if they initiate contact. No matter how good they look. She says no, move it along. You ain't got to prove yourself to her, she's just not interested, no matter what you prove.
Not what I meant by hypotheticals. I mean, women who I could hypothetically approach for a date and how I could put myself into situations to engage with them.
Some women may want you to show you are really interested and work at it a bit. of course she may have just been busy. One of my daughters had a guy ask her out eight times and she was busy all but the last time. She was no testing him, she was not disinterested, she was just busy.
If she simply said no, that is another story - give up. Even if she eventually says yes, do you want to be the boyfriend that she does not really want?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
The OP said, she was in a relationship, and just got out of it. We don't know the timeline of it all, but "no" could mean, "I have a bf", or "I have my eye on a potential future bf".
Before, she said she was busy. Twice. The first time she said she was busy she actually gave a timeline..."I'll be more free after this day." I hit her up again after that day, and it turned into "I'm busy for the foreseeable future." So I got the message and backed off. (A couple of weeks after that I found out that she was seeing someone. Don't know whether she was seeing him when I asked her or not.)
Fast forward to now. About a week ago I found out she had ended a relationship (don't know if it was the same guy or a different one). Then, she contacted me again, since we'd be seeing each other through work soon. Still, having been shot down earlier, I didn't want to push anything, but wanted to gauge her interest. I didn't notice anything but sociable pleasantness and friendliness, and there have been plenty of times I have mistaken that sort of thing for interest.
She hasn't contacted me since. Was she expecting me to show more interest? Was she just being friendly? I don't know, that's why I'm asking. I've had women initiate social media contact with me three times this year now (direct chatting, one gave me her phone number) and I flopped every time I tried to ask them out afterwards.
Still, don't hold your breath. If she says no and it really means not right now, the ball is in her park to decide when. If she doesn't, then this likely means not in the foreseeable future. One thing you don't want is to just hang around in orbit in hopes that she'll come around, especially if she has others that she prefers and is running with. What you do is just move your interest to some others of your own.
Even if "some day, she'll realize you're the one", why wait around for her to be finished playing the field? Do some playing for yourself.
If she said I'm busy and does not make any effort to set a time to meet you, then chances are she'd not interested in going out with you.
Agree with all of this. I've got balls in lots of other courts. No one's in a hurry to dribble them back. But it beats orbiting (done it, it's creepy) and holding out (done it, it destroyed me) and waiting until I'm the best option left (done it, I was the world's hardest rebound for one woman in my only relationship...she was at absolute rock bottom, hit hard, and bounced up grasping at me because every other person she had tried had fallen through).
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
