Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am a girl, and I can only speak for myself, and this is what I think:
You first have to understand there’s no “right” answer to this. If you want a diagram or descriptive scenario, you won’t be able to get that.
Sex for me, and a lot of women, is more emotional than physical. Compatibility for me can sometimes mean the other person was satisfied, or had an amazing time, because of me. That’s really good enough, maybe even the goal.
The difference of quality with someone you were in love with, and aren’t anymore, is distinct. Without the emotion, it’s just a physical act, similar to working out.
....
GOOD SEX:...sometimes mean the other person was satisfied....
BAD SEX:...Without the emotion, it’s just a physical act, similar to working out.
Thank you for your bravery (well, 1 out of 9 posters, that's brave enough) and thank you for knowing what you want out of sex life.
(Again, it's disheartening that our divorce rates is so high and sex is a major factor--I did not make this up, a simple googling will show "sex/infidelity/boredom/whatever-euphemism-you-want-to-use" is either #1/#2 or in the top 5.)
The emotional part of sex is all the responsibility of yourself. If you're not feeling it with the person then STOP.
The worst sex, I suppose is when the guy won't stop and you want him to.
Next worst is when he doesn't take your cues, your lead, or your instructions (whatever you want to call it) and so doesn't care enough or is too inept to at least try to do the things that will get you off. Yeah, yeah, your brain is a sex organ but if the physical sensations are not there then it's pretty difficult.
So a guy who at least tries has some potential but some guys in the end are untrainable. They know what THEY like and they have some routine in their head that they can't deviate from either because of the first woman they were with or porn or whatever. At some point, if he can't figure it out with me helping him then it's over - call it incompatibility but that's it.
If the guy doesn't even care enough to try that's a different issue. He doesn't even have to "love" me or "connect" with me but he at least needs to have some pride in his work that he tries to make it good for the both of us. If I'm doing my part then he needs to do his.
Boredom is usually the culprit. People don't understand how boring it can be being with the same person for the rest of your life. Both parties need to regain the love/lust/passion of the other person everyday, otherwise, a person can become neglected, unloved, etc and start seeking it elsewhere.
I'm a guy. The notion that a man can't have bad sex leads to, well, bad sex for men. Men typically get off, but when the woman being there adds nothing to the enjoyment, or perhaps detracts from it, it's bad sex. I'd rather take care of myself.
Orgasms are mostly easy for guys, true. Good sex is a lot more than an orgasm, though, and I've had good sex where I didn't get off.
There’s a day old post in this forum about a woman contemplating divorce after 30 years of marriage due to lack of romantic feelings for her husband (no money issues, no kids involved).
I’ve always heard that two of the top five reasons for divorce are money and infidelity; do you guys think that it’s wise to figure out the sexual compatibility of the two involved parties prior to braving an institution with an almost 50% rates of failure?
Specifically, guys what is “good sex”? What is “bad sex”?
Same, ladies what is “good sex”? What is “bad sex”?
Good sex is when you have a deep connection between you. You're not just humping each other. You're sharing energy and emotion.
It's hard to maintain that sort of connection over 30 years. This has nothing to do with "figuring out" sexual compatibility beforehand. You can't. Because people change. This is why I generally lean against marriage. I don't think most (there are exceptions) couples have the sort of connection that is going to last 30 years, and I don't see the point of trying to force it.
But hey, if someone is still madly in love with their partner of over 30 years, more power to them. They found their soul mate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
I was at a party a while ago where one guy parroted that old joke about "bad sex is like bad pizza--even when it's bad it's still pretty good," and most of the women there were like, "yeah...no, dude."
Yeah, no. Bad sex is not like bad pizza. Bad sex is like finding a three week old pizza rotting on the ground in an alley behind a bar and being forced to eat that. No thanks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
Sexual incompatibility has almost nothing to do with positions or the physical act, and definitely nothing to do with when you “empty your tank.”
It’s mental, and if the connection ain’t there you cannot fake it.
Likewise, this is why you should never trust anyone who brags about being "amazing in bed". There is no such thing as being "amazing in bed". You can be amazing with certain people with whom you share chemistry and a connection. That's it. There are not general sexual techniques you can learn. Every person likes something different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
The worst sex, I suppose is when the guy won't stop and you want him to.
Yes, I realize that, I should have put quotes around sex - can't assume anything around here. Obviously, not all men (and even some women) don't recognize it when they see it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
