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3 questions if somebodynew or anyone else can answer.
1.Do you know any men or women with terrible attitudes toward the sex they want to date who nonetheless attract and have relationships with lots of people?
2.Do you know any men or women who are fine people but who struggle to find love, painfully and beyond the normal, expected struggles?
3.Is it conceivable that a person can be embittered, as unwise as that is to let happen, as a result of their very difficult experience and not as the cause of it?
1. Yes, they attract partners, but the relationships that ensue generally suck. One guy I am thinking of, is very shmoozy, like a used car salesman, he got himself a pretty young wife, but he was so bad at being a decent partner that she left him and she is now raking his arse over the coals financially like nobody's business. He also got caught cheating, so...yeah. They can get 'em, but they can't keep 'em.
2. Absolutely. My boyfriend was one of these kinds. Though he will admit that his attitude was not always good, and if I ever opine that I wish we'd met earlier in our lives, and had more years to enjoy one another, he says, "You would not have liked me back then."
3. Yes, but it's a vicious cycle. The more embittered you become, the more failure you experience, which makes you more bitter, which makes you fail more. The only part over which you have control (since we cannot control other people) is yourself. Boyfriend made peace with himself, and accepted the idea he might just be alone for life, but in the meantime, he was going to LIVE and leave himself open to whatever experiences came his way. Ideology of Zen Buddhist philosophy helped this A WHOLE FREAKING LOT. I recommend it to anyone who does not know how to break out of despair and bitterness. It was transformative for him. (Note: Not the religion; the philosophy.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
Based on the OP's own posts of an ideal relationship that involves a woman spending all of her time with him and not having any outside interests or relationships with friends or family. Perhaps that's appealing to some, but I feel smothered just reading about it in the abstract.
Yeah, me too. That's why the first round of Cyphorx threads I participated heavily in, I eventually ended up suggesting a robot or doll or something. Hopefully the advances in AI and inevitable economy of scale will offer a solution for some of these souls eventually.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I don't know why you keep discussing players. Just get out there, and meet women, OP! You seem stuck in some kind of rut. Get out there, mix, mingle, and talk to the quiet women, just being friendly. You might find what you're looking for eventually, if you make a regular practice of just being neighborly to women around you.
But Cyphorx does not LIKE "out there!"
I have this mental image, I kind of wish I could draw it like a cartoon right now. Since some have said his animated ladies look emaciated, (yes I know, "they're athletic!") I bet they could really use a sandwich or something? I mean, they sure look hungry to me. Maybe he could attach a plate of food to a long string, and put it out in the yard, and lurk behind his front door with the other end of the string. Perhaps one of these totally-not-meth-addicted ladies would happen by and he could just lure her in...
Faithful and needy aren't the same thing. I expect fidelity in a monogamous relationship, but I also expect a guy to have his own life and need his own space as much as I do.
Based on everything you've ever posted here, you are clingy. Full stop. You can spin it as a virtue, but it is what it is.
I was responding on why players tend to do better with women.
I have this mental image, I kind of wish I could draw it like a cartoon right now. Since some have said his animated ladies look emaciated, (yes I know, "they're athletic!") I bet they could really use a sandwich or something? I mean, they sure look hungry to me. Maybe he could attach a plate of food to a long string, and put it out in the yard, and lurk behind his front door with the other end of the string. Perhaps one of these totally-not-meth-addicted ladies would happen by and he could just lure her in...
Faithful and needy aren't the same thing. I expect fidelity in a monogamous relationship, but I also expect a guy to have his own life and need his own space as much as I do.
Based on everything you've ever posted here, you are clingy. Full stop. You can spin it as a virtue, but it is what it is.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12
3 questions if somebodynew or anyone else can answer.
1.Do you know any men or women with terrible attitudes toward the sex they want to date who nonetheless attract and have relationships with lots of people?
2.Do you know any men or women who are fine people but who struggle to find love, painfully and beyond the normal, expected struggles?
3.Is it conceivable that a person can be embittered, as unwise as that is to let happen, as a result of their very difficult experience and not as the cause of it?
1) No.
2) Well, I'm not sure. What is normal and expected? I struggle to find love, or more precisely, to find someone to fall in love with. All the things required to make it work are rarely together at once, for both parties. It should be hard.
3) Not the cause of their difficult experience, or not the cause of being bitter? Yes to the former, no to the latter. No one causes us to feel a certain way, we allow ourselves to or we do not. A person who decided to become bitter, or allowed themselves to become bitter, is capable of deciding to not be bitter. They have to make the choice and do the work.
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