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Faithful and needy aren't the same thing. I expect fidelity in a monogamous relationship, but I also expect a guy to have his own life and need his own space as much as I do.
Based on everything you've ever posted here, you are clingy. Full stop. You can spin it as a virtue, but it is what it is.
But if only a small portion of his life is dedicated to you, it only shows how little you are valued(less than everything else)
While there's much truth in this I rarely ever come across a single woman, whereas single men are seemingly everywhere.
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In younger age groups though women nearly always have a boyfriend. I work in a large office and an unmarried woman without a steady boyfriend is very rare. There's a ton of single guys though.
You realize that this doesn't work, mathematically, right? I can think of a few possibilities, but the simplest explanation is that your perception is off. (I have noticed that heavy, homely, or older women tend to be "invisible" to some men.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyphorx
But if only a small portion of his life is dedicated to you, it only shows how little you are valued(less than everything else)
That's very simplistic. If I spend 8 hours at work today, and two hours with my significant other, does that mean I value work four times more?
I think there are more single men doing OLD than single women, but there are more single women doing MeetUp meetings than single men. I believe men like the online dating approach but women prefer the meeting-in-person approach.
I pretty much tried every major dating sites and signed up many MeetUp groups. I still can't find a partner. I am definitely not picky because my ex is a total loser and we were together for 16 months. I am unfortunately living in Pacific NW where the men are very passive and they don't put much effort in dating. I lost count how many times I ran into someone who just wanted sexting. OLD is great for finding casual sex. For real relationships, I think many people still meet through events like friend's party or wedding etc.
I am still trying to do MeetUp but my purpose is to make new friends and hopefully they will invite me to their parties so I can meet their friends.
But if only a small portion of his life is dedicated to you, it only shows how little you are valued(less than everything else)
Since when is the amount of time spent with a person equivalent to how much you value them? Even a loner may have a job, a kid or two, a parent or parents who need help when they are in their 40s and beyond. Loners may also have independent interests that take up some of their time.
I think there are more single men doing OLD than single women, but there are more single women doing MeetUp meetings than single men. I believe men like the online dating approach but women prefer the meeting-in-person approach.
I pretty much tried every major dating sites and signed up many MeetUp groups. I still can't find a partner. I am definitely not picky because my ex is a total loser and we were together for 16 months. I am unfortunately living in Pacific NW where the men are very passive and they don't put much effort in dating. I lost count how many times I ran into someone who just wanted sexting. OLD is great for finding casual sex. For real relationships, I think many people still meet through events like friend's party or wedding etc.
I am still trying to do MeetUp but my purpose is to make new friends and hopefully they will invite me to their parties so I can meet their friends.
Right, with Meetups, at least the women can't hit a delete button or won't ignore you. lol.
Last edited by ThisTown123; 12-21-2018 at 05:16 AM..
Becoming a socially cut off loner doesn’t give you babies.
The draws for remaining in and obtaining relationships is not fully comparative between the sexes.
You’ll have to define “loner” a little more for better answers. Their are many types of “loners” and not all are equal to the other in terms of the conditions that have required to make them as such.
Most of the loner women I know, do not want babies. Babies are also people. They don't like people. They don't want additional people in their lives and space.
The few LEGITIMATE loner men I know around here (Scribbles for instance--a rare breed) also don't want babies, any more than they particularly want a woman. MillennialUrbanist might not be a total socially isolated person, he likes having a social life, but I don't get the sense he wants kids any more than he wants a relationship.
So no, being a socially cut-off loner doesn't give you babies but I think that's part of the idea. Unless you are not really happy with your loner-ness and you're just doing it because you've given up and decided to rot alone in a miserable solitary pile at home. I guess it goes to "loner by choice" or "loner by dysfunction"...how deliberate and chosen is this state of solitude?
Perhaps a higher percentage of female loners are that way by choice? But honestly true loners, despite the feeling we get from being on certain parts of the internet, are pretty rare. Though there are many people who, for some reason, once they get coupled up, don't seem to want to put any effort into interacting with anyone outside of their household. I don't think that is right or healthy, at a larger societal level, because I think humans do better with support networks of family, friends, community. But I believe that the "Powers That Be" running the show, particularly in America, have nudged us in that direction pretty hard, because it's easy to control people who exist in isolated units and it's great fuel for the machine. Parents both have to work, kids are put into facilities where it's easy to train them to obedience, parents are indoctrinated to buy, buy, buy, buy, work, work, work, work, buy, buy, buy, buy...what's that, you can't afford to make the Christmas magic of a huge pile of expensive junk for your children? HORRIBLE PARENT. Go into debt if you must! Those at the top will happily suck up your interest on your credit cards as you slave away to pay for Christmas for the remainder of the next year. Splintering people off into little nuclear pods with no real community bonds, is GREAT for capitalism.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyphorx
But if only a small portion of his life is dedicated to you, it only shows how little you are valued(less than everything else)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100
No, it shows he is a healthy, complete person all on his own. He values her so much that he chooses to make time for her.
This response is great. And jeez, I want QUALITY time with my partner, not just forever sitting around together day after day. That whole staying at home together constantly, having no other interests, obsessively staring at each other in every moment we're not having sexytime, would get mind-breakingly boring. Not the most interesting human being on the planet will keep me engaged if that's all there is to us. I want to have memorable experiences together. And all of that external stuff, all the things that you consider a threatening competition for time with a partner, are the things that make a partner a worthwhile and interesting person to be with, from my perspective. Hell, what my boyfriend and I do for the first half-hour or more that we're together when we have time to connect, is share the news of our day, things that happened when we were apart. If you never have any experiences apart, what in the hell do you talk about when you're together? Healthy people strike a balance between the time and activities they want to enjoy together, and those they will enjoy separately. The descriptions you've given of how you want a relationship to be, are horrifying to many who read them.
But honestly it is fascinating to me in a way. I think of you as a case study in a particular mindset/worldview, and perhaps at another end of some kind of a spectrum is someone like MillennialUrbanist who also fascinates me. Because he speaks with horror of women being tyrants who take away all of a man's fun, force him to become this boring homebody with no life. You want to BE that kind of a tyrant to a woman, or rather, you hope to find what he contemplates with dread, the woman who wants just that...the lifestyle he imagines women force upon men, is the one you are striving and struggling to find, Cyphorx. Frankly I think that both of you are incredibly unrealistic in your extremes, but it is very interesting.
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