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I tried online dating and it was absolutely terrible - very humbling experience. I think the issue is the women I want are probably the most desirable demographic out there (I like mid to late 20s women, in good shape, no kids - which so does every other man on the planet) and I'm just not good looking enough in pictures to stand out among ferocious competition. I'm good looking in real life but I'm not photogenic so I'm guessing I only come across as decent in pictures and women on there likely have tons and tons of incredibly attractive men dying to be with them. Overall a very humbling, confidence destroying experience.
So what are my other options? I try to make friend everywhere I go but I don't meet anybody I like through friends. Bars and clubs are very difficult and I don't meet women in any other part of my daily routine. Do I just need to ask out women anywhere I see and stop waiting for the perfect opportunity?
I just can't get over the intense anxiety of having to approach a woman at a gym or a store or something. All I can think off is a very nasty horrible outcome. In my head, most women don't want to meet a man in a random situation so I'm just annoying the hell out of them.
Last edited by BassNectar7; 12-21-2018 at 06:25 PM..
I tried online dating and it was absolutely terrible - very humbling experience. I think the issue is the women I want are probably the most desirable demographic out there (I like mid to late 20s women, in good shape, no kids - which so does every other man on the planet) and I'm just not good looking enough in pictures to stand out among ferocious competition. I'm good looking in real life but I'm not photogenic so I'm guessing I only come across as decent in pictures and women on there likely have tons and tons of incredibly attractive men dying to be with them. Overall a very humbling, confidence destroying experience.
So what are my other options? I try to make friend everywhere I go but I don't meet anybody I like through friends. Bars and clubs are very difficult and I don't meet women in any other part of my daily routine. Do I just need to ask out women anywhere I see and stop waiting for the perfect opportunity?
I just can't get over the intense anxiety of having to approach a woman at a gym or a store or something. All I can think off is a very nasty horrible outcome. In my head, most women don't want to meet a man in a random situation so I'm just annoying the hell out of them.
Meet her for coffee.
Talk on the phone for a while before you meet if that’s easier.
I tried online dating and it was absolutely terrible - very humbling experience. I think the issue is the women I want are probably the most desirable demographic out there (I like mid to late 20s women, in good shape, no kids - which so does every other man on the planet) and I'm just not good looking enough in pictures to stand out among ferocious competition. I'm good looking in real life but I'm not photogenic so I'm guessing I only come across as decent in pictures and women on there likely have tons and tons of incredibly attractive men dying to be with them. Overall a very humbling, confidence destroying experience.
So what are my other options? I try to make friend everywhere I go but I don't meet anybody I like through friends. Bars and clubs are very difficult and I don't meet women in any other part of my daily routine. Do I just need to ask out women anywhere I see and stop waiting for the perfect opportunity?
I just can't get over the intense anxiety of having to approach a woman at a gym or a store or something. All I can think off is a very nasty horrible outcome. In my head, most women don't want to meet a man in a random situation so I'm just annoying the hell out of them.
I don't agree with your premise that looks are the primary thing that's relevant to women. (tho this may be more true on OLD)
I think funnyman meant the women in your gym, in real life..
It should be quite easy because you also go there.
You don't need to ask them out right away, but start with a casual conversation about work outs, equipment, drop a compliment, perhaps ask about diet/food/drinks and go from here. If they like you, they will respond. If not they will be short and walk away. Try to relax and be nice...
hobbies
civic groups
alumni events
interactive volunteer opportunities
work
dog park
Is it possible you aren't as good looking as you think you are?
Hobbies - I'm into music, movies, sports, working out, watching sports. Pretty boring, bland stuff. I'm not going to meet women from there - unless I bite the bullet and approach women at the gym (which I think is incredibly hard)
work - not an option
dog - don't have one
I don't volunteer
alumni events - don't go to any - they're far from me
civic groups - don't go to any
I would say I'm pretty good looking in real life. I get compliments on a weekly basis from random strangers - sometimes very strong compliments. In pics, I'm just decent though and I think you have to be stunningly handsome in pics to get even a decent looking woman nowadays on dating sites. I'm not sure even if I was photogenic, that I would be good enough for women on dating sites. Attractive women on there have incredibly narrow standards.
I would be shocked if the swipe right % for attractive, childless, in shape mid 20s women is over 1%. I mean I'm very picky myself - but I probably still swipe right maybe 10-20%. Women on dating sites put my pickiness to shame lol.
women on there likely have tons and tons of incredibly attractive men dying to be with them.
this isn't true... the male version would be saying with all the porn out in the world, how come all the women they meet aren't porn stars?
getting on tinder and playing the find the hot person game doesn't translate to anything, you still know nothing about the person, or even if the photos are real
if you can't "meet" women, you have other issues, women are literally half the population when you step outside
FYI, look up women makeup transformation on YouTube.., women have been playing the real life photoshop game before the Internet was made, they know how to pose for those "hot" online photos.
Hobbies - I'm into music, movies, sports, working out, watching sports. Pretty boring, bland stuff. I'm not going to meet women from there - unless I bite the bullet and approach women at the gym (which I think is incredibly hard)
work - not an option
dog - don't have one I don't volunteer
alumni events - don't go to any - they're far from me civic groups - don't go to any
I would say I'm pretty good looking in real life. I get compliments on a weekly basis from random strangers - sometimes very strong compliments. In pics, I'm just decent though and I think you have to be stunningly handsome in pics to get even a decent looking woman nowadays on dating sites. I'm not sure even if I was photogenic, that I would be good enough for women on dating sites. Attractive women on there have incredibly narrow standards.
I would be shocked if the swipe right % for attractive, childless, in shape mid 20s women is over 1%. I mean I'm very picky myself - but I probably still swipe right maybe 10-20%. Women on dating sites put my pickiness to shame lol.
OP, you completely missed her point. She meant: VOLUNTEER. JOIN CIVIC GROUPS.
Maybe that's why you don't attract women: you have no hobbies, besides movies (that's like calling watching TV a hobby) and music, and working out. OP, you're BO-RINGGGGgggg. Cultivate yourself. Get some interesting things to talk about. Get a life outside of movies, music and your friends' parties. Use your money to travel. Study the cultures and history or archaeology of the places you travel to. Attend lectures at travel bookstores and other venues. Do something, ANYTHING outside of your narrow little comfort zone.
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